Geonia

I am new here

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Hello everyone. i am new here and would like to tell you a bit about myself. i have suffered from anxiety disorder since I was 16 years of age....almost 37 years. i worry about anything and everything.I go through times where i cope well with it and then times like now when i go into anxiety flareup. i have never been on any meds but was prescribed diazapan and propranolol in October 2014 as i was going through a very rough time then. However i have never taken any of them because when i read the list of side effects etc it really scared me lol.. There have been many times when  i have went to the  cupboard and taken out the boxes but i always put them back again. Crazy isnt it? Has anyone else been like this?.I am so happy i found this forum. it is comforting to know that we are not alone and can sympathise with others when they are in flare up mode as i am at this moment. I get so many of the symptoms but have also recognised that this is anxiety and it will gradually go away.I say to myself that i have a hold on the disorder and that it does NOT have a hold on me. My heart goes out to each and every one of you who suffers from this nasty horrid condition. I am so impressed with this forum and love the way people are taking the time to encourage others as anxiety can make us feel so alone and isolated. The advice given here is sound and comforting. I feel i now have a Go To Place when i am needy. For a long time it was health anxiety and i agree with many on here that Dr Google is... not a good thing at all.It simply heightens our anxiety levels. The best relief for myself is to be open and discuss my condition because i know i am not alone. To name my symptoms would take forever but lets just say i can put a tick at most of them lol. Palpatations and feeling i was going to pass out used to freak me out but i now say to myself .....keep busy they will pass. I find making myself busy makes them stop faster whereas when i used to lay down when i got them took longer as i would be constantly thinking about them which really makes it worse. I understand we are all different and cope differently too. I would really like to get to know you people  to  share with you my own experiences and also listen to yours and be there if anyone is needy and needing a shoulder to lean on....Have A Blessed Day All....Geonia.xx.

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You and I are very alike. I had my first big PA  at age 17 or so and then it went very dormant for many years. Or I thought it was dormant. I was living the college life, drinking and drugging and never had any issues........ go figure ! Then when I cleaned up my life and my husband got gravely ill, it came back and smacked me good.  Its' been an on again / off again trial since. But overall , I'm winning !   You will, too. Don't be afraid.  I , too, have been prescribed meds, but I just throw them out when the full bottle expires. My own mom was heavily medicated/ addicted all of my life and meds just don't seem that beneficial or attractive to me. 

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Thankyou for your reply Joycicle it is much appreciated.I will never forget my big PA at 16 lol. Yes i agree it is an ongoing on and off trial and i like to think i am winning also :).As for the meds they run out of date october this year lol but i think i keep hold of them ....just incase :). Its the way the flare up just comes out of the blue isnt it? Fine for a while and then boom!.Sorry to hear you have had a difficult time through the years but at least now you are winning :). Anxiety is a menace!!!....peace and light.

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The more I pay attention the more I think it feels ' out of the blue' but it really is not.  Sometimes I have to look back and say ok what was going on the last few weeks leading up to this?   

This year I had a moderate PA on New Years Eve and it seemed out of the blue.  But it was right after holiday rushes and all of that , which I sailed through fine. I had a better holiday run than most years without a problem, but I think each holiday event left a little debris in the brain. A  little ' ooh that was a close one, phew, glad that is over''.  Also, that same week earlier in the week I had many errands and appointments, which normally would be trying, and I made it through them as well.  So come new years eve, my brain was full of the little leftover debris field from the previous ' close calls' .   That's my thinking anyway. It's not scientific. , however. 

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Yes actually I can relate to that. When you stop and think back at what could have been a trigger. Yep. Just an overload. It's good to be able to recognise and understand what causes the flareups. My symptoms don't always come on the day when I am really stressed.  It is usually a day or so later.. Does anyone else feel that? Especially the fatigue. 

 

 

 

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I get that a lot. It seems that under stress we just react. So we don't have as much time to process the thoughts. So when everything slows down, our brain has time to process everything. It's the processing of the stress in our brains that causes the anxiety. Our thoughts start to form bridges to other thoughts and our minds start to race. Certain triggers set it off, and our stress begin to travel on the transportation sytem formed by the bridges to thoughts, which forms bridges to other thoughts. We have to reroute those thoughts... So that the destination of our thoughts isn't fear and anxiety, but rather fearlessness and Joy. Of course we all know that it's easier said than done, but understanding our condition brings us that much closer to overcoming. Be encouraged!

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