PTSD and parenting...

[Cai 3]

Hey all,

Just wondering how people out there cope when you are a parent with PTSD. I can find the simplest tasks overwhelming sometimes and feel immense guilt that my son isn't getting the best of me. Sometimes I feel so exhausted and disconnected from it all. Flat I suppose. Other times I feel as though I've been physically kicked when I start re-living things and get very over protective and not wanting to let my son out of my sight. I'd love to know how others get past these feelings and/or stop them from taking over. My anxiety is off the charts.

Thank you in advance  

[Mark G 1187]

Hi Cai, i don't have any children so cannot comment on that part but i have had PTSD so can help there.  Have you been to a therapist over this?

[Cai 3]

Thank you for responding Mark. I started going to a psychologist about it but am finding it difficult to attend given I am a full time carer to my son (he has ongoing health issues and I have him nearly 100% of the time). I am hoping to go back soon however. I think talking about everything can only help... no matter how much I try to avoid it! 

[Mark G 1187]

Yes you MUST talk about it, confront it and not avoid for avoidance only goes to prolong and validate anxiety.  Gain as much knowledge as you can about it also helps massively.  Is there any way your therapist would come to you seeing as you are a full time carer? PTSD will be the core of the issue, anxiety stems from that core so working to reprocess these 'events' in PTSD is the way to go and you will need a therapist for that.  That said, there are many things you can do to manage your anxiety in the here and now.

[Cai 3]

I'm actually looking into someone perhaps coming out to me. We are currently getting transferred over to a disability service and that appears to take a bit of time.

I suppose I am just scared of opening it all up. I am able to cope when I avoid it but obviously am living with quite severe anxiety. Part of the trauma I find hard to remember, but to be honest I am glad of that. I try to do meditation and relaxation and it just leaves me very angry. I find it almost impossible to 'switch off'. At the moment strength training is my therapist  With over 40kg lost, I'd say it's beneficial for something  

Appreciate your responses greatly Mark 

[Mark G 1187]

I'm actually looking into someone perhaps coming out to me. We are currently getting transferred over to a disability service and that appears to take a bit of time.

That's great to hear.  Hopefully you will be able to get home visits.

I suppose I am just scared of opening it all up.

Of course and it's perfectly natural to not want to delve into something which upsets, but these area's of the mind are where the issues lie so seeing them and processing them correctly unlocks the tools for recovery.  Anxiety is using them events for the fuel it needs to continue.

I am able to cope when I avoid it but obviously am living with quite severe anxiety.

So would it be safe you say that you're not coping after all?

Part of the trauma I find hard to remember, but to be honest I am glad of that

Yes, your mind has buried it deep into the unconscious and you may feel glad of that fact, but although you may not remember, these events (they are not memories yet as such) are triggered at the slightest thing and are throwing up all of these feelings of anxiety and unease every day.   

I try to do meditation and relaxation and it just leaves me very angry.

Now why does it leave you angry?  Do you get close to these events in your mind?  Does this cause frustration?  Do you become frustrated because you CAN'T relax?

I find it almost impossible to 'switch off'

You will not be able to force at 'switch off'. That will come naturally.  Forcing is battling, and battling brings anxiety.

At the moment strength training is my therapist  With over 40kg lost, I'd say it's beneficial for something 

Oh yes, this is great stuff and will help in the here and now.

I'm happy to help, just let me know.