Junie

Magical!!! Ketamine Infusion for MMD

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Hello All!

 

I've been missing in action for some months now, but I have returned with wonderfully magical news to share with each and every person here!  I'll start off by telling you my diagnoses:  Major Depressive Disorder, Treatment Resistant, Moderate Degree, Recurring Episodes; Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia; Anxiety Disorder, and Trichotillomania.  I have tried about 85% of the SSRIs on the market, various Antipsychotics, Benzos, Mood Stabilizers, and Homeopathic remedies; EMDR Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Hypnotherapy, Meditation, Breathing Techniques, Visualization, Self Talk, Self Hypnosis, Soul Retrieval Ceremony (a Shamanic Ceremony), Massage Therapy, Exercise, Heliotherapy, Adjusting my Diet, and Reiki Therapy...I think that covers it.

 

Last month, I was preparing to elect Electroconvulsive Therapy as a treatment resort to help with my disorders.  In the nick of time, my Psychiatrist mentioned Ketamine.  I'd never heard of it, and so I did research on the method of this treatment. Ketamine is FDA approved for Anesthesia in surgical procedures.  There are also studies on Ketamine being a successful treatment for Chronic Pain.  In addition, Ketamine is a street drug, Special K, that has a hallucinogenic quality. Finally, as of recent years, there are studies for using low doses of Ketamine to treat Major Depression (although it is not FDA approved to treat MDD).  It wasn't long before I felt the strongest sense of hope and desire to undergo this treatment; just thinking to myself, "This sounds too good to be true!"  To make my hope grow even brighter, there just happened to be a Psychiatrist about 60 miles away that offered the treatment!  

 

The following week, I told my Psychiatrist about my findings, and he gave me the thumbs up to contact the Psychiatrist that offered Ketamine Infusion Treatments.  My first consultation was set, I ended up being a suitable candidate, and had my appointment for my first Infusion scheduled!!  BAM!

 

I don't have the words to share with you to express adequately how I've responded to this treatment that is available.  My very first Infusion..I was freed from the weight, that heavy, dark, lonely, cloud that followed me for so long.  I could breath!!  And it only continued to get better as the days passed.  Thus far, I have had 4 Infusions, and I have one remaining.  I found myself again, because of Ketamine; I feel again, because of Ketamine; I laugh now, because of Ketamine; I have more understanding of what I've been struggling with, because of Ketamine; I see things I've never seen before, because of Ketamine; I hear things that I've never heard in my life, because of Ketamine; I'm as goofy as ever (and not afraid to show it), because of Ketamine; I want to LIVE, because of Ketamine Infusion Treatments!!

 

In closing, I must stress that I am NOT recommending anyone to make any attempt, whatsoever, to treat themselves with Ketamine in an uncontrolled, unmonitored environment!!!  You want to live, not die!!!  Also, there is not such thing as a "Silver Bullet" in treating everyone.  I just wanted to share my success story, because if this story help even a single person, then I would be so, so happy! :lol: 

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Junie this is fantastic news! I'm so happy you have found something that works so well for you! Amazing :) Thank you so much for sharing this, such a wonderful post to read. 

 

When I hear the word ketamine I think horse tranquiliser ! LOL that is the only thing I knew about it.

 

Edit: Oh wait no, I have heard something more, there is a guy here in the UK, his name is Pete, he won Big Brother years ago, I loved him, he had quite severe Tourettes and he used it to treat it. I remember reading an article a while ago about it.

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Thank you so much!!!!  Yes, indeed, I'd forgotten about the horse tranquilizers section!!  lol  I'm more than thrilled to share this amazing experience with the whole world!  I hope many people enjoy it!   :D

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Good Day Junie and thank you for sharing your Ketamine therapy experience. My wife is currently experiencing her fourth MDD episode in the last ten years and she has no resolve to survive. The bouts have lasted on average 11 months in the past. She has tried as many psychotropics and other therapies as you had and never has been helped with any of them...(other than short term relaxation from Xanax and Adivan.) The illness is always accompanied with a "switch off' of her hunger mechanism and she has to literally force herself to take in food in order to survive. This reality is, of course, extremely stress inducing. Her past episodes just seem to run their course and then her hunger mechanism "switches back on" and she gets well again. Normally she has been a healthy, loving, productive human being who loves and is loved by her family and many friends. This insidious disease just crushes her and she feels her brain is ravaged and she is already dead inside.

 

She doesn't want to kill herself out of guilt and love for her family however, she cannot tolerate her constant feeling state that she describes as utter torment every second.

 

We're desperate to try anything and the Ketamine therapy might be a good fit despite the fact that they say it only last for a week or two. Any relief would be priceless.

 

I'm curious if you are still doing the therapy and if it has given you any longer lasting relief. Any insights you would be willing to share would be deeply appreciated.

 

Thanks so much for your consideration and feedback.

 

JonDRapp

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Hi JonDRapp,

I'm so sorry to hear of your family's struggles with MDD!  I can certainly relate to that feeling of desperation with regard to finding a solution in managing and reducing the intensity/duration of the depressive episodes that would overwhelm me.

Thus far, I have received 7 Ketamine Infusions over the past 10 months.  I received my last treatment in mid May.  Without a doubt, the quality of my life has drastically improved, in large part, to the Ketamine Infusions.  I've done lots of research on the treatment, and I've talked to my 2 psychiatrists about how I've responded to the Ketamine throughout my journey.  Prior to the infusions, I remember thinking to myself, "Ugh, I have nothing to lose by trying this."  Later on, around my 5th infusion, I remember crying for hours because my thinking had changed completely..."I HAVE EVERYTHING TO LOSE!!"  One of the most beautiful changes that I have experienced with the Ketamine is that I have felt more "hopeful" from the very first procedure; even if I find myself back in an MDD episode 2 weeks, 1 month, 3 months later...there is still a spark of hope and more determination to keep trying.

So much has happened since my original post.  I have made significant changes with my meds since then.  I apologize, but it's too difficult for me to track what I was taking over the last 10 months (or 10 years, for that matter), but I can tell you that I have been able to reduce my meds so much.  I no longer take any benzos (which I have been taking for about 10 years), and I never thought that the day would arrive when I didn't have a prescription for Xanax or Ativan.  I've been doing well with mood stabilizers (Lithium and Trileptal) and BusPar for anxiety.  In addition, one of my doctors suggested that I had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome about a year ago.  In my stubbornness, I initially ignored that possibility.  CFS is a tricky disorder, but, I've been taking an anti-viral for about 5 months now, and I'm grateful to say that the treatment has proven to be successful.  I'm still getting used to having more energy, smiling, laughing, feeling, doing things (some of the simplest things are the best)...I feel like I've found my life again, and it takes some getting used to.  :)   I'm so, so, soooo thankful!  :D

It's very difficult for me to find the words to give to you that would adequately describe how I feel today, and how the Ketamine alone has contributed to my life as we speak.  Feeling differently definitely does "take some getting used to.", more so when I found myself feeling better. Once I started the Ketamine, reduced my meds, stabilized on a combination of meds that worked well for me, and ruled out and/or treated co-existing disorders, I seem to remember things just sort of falling into place...but, I'm struggling with my less depressed feelings in my life because I'm rusty and out of practice when I'm not so depressed. I feel so much pressure in getting better - and staying better.  This pressure is born out of the fear of getting sick again, the fear of letting others down (again), the worry that treatment will not work in the long term, and the guilt of wanting to give up.  This is like a no-win situation at times because I'm having trouble enjoying and appreciating the life that I can see again due to the worry, fear, and guilt - or - I'm overwhelmed with worry, fear, and guilt from a depressive episode that I'm familiar with because it has been been a huge part of my life for so long.    How do I best cope?

To help with tackling obstacles as I continue to maintain my life, I can tell you that there is much work to be done in order to not only see that life is worth living, but to feel as though it is a fulfilling life.  I still see someone for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy regularly.  I set goals for myself now, because accomplishing even the simplest goal builds my confidence and strength.  I do exposure therapy to manage agoraphobia, I leave my home and interact with another person face-to-face at least 4 times each week to help prevent me from isolating, I've slowly made changes to my diet to help maximize the nutrients that I am ingesting when I do eat/drink (this might be one for you and your wife to start with), I visit with my team of doctors regularly and I work on not feeling guilty about calling them if I need to.  I communicate with those closest to me to update them on my victories, concerns, or conflicts that I encounter so that they know where I am...I've realized that when I change, I am responsible for helping others learn who I am...other people are not psychic, and they are still used to treating me like I'm sick.  My latest venture is exercise, I just started to exercise again.   I could go on and on, and it seems like so much, but remember that it just comes one day at a time, and as my depression lifted, I didn't just jump right back in.  It doesn't work that way.  When  I started to see light, started to feel alive, you would think that I'd be so happy.  Not true.  I was/am full of fear!  I was/am afraid that I wasn't ready to get better!  I get glimpses of the littlest things that I needed to push myself to do if I want to continue to feel better, and I am afraid that I can't do it...but, so far, I'm doing it!!  Maybe I don't have a lot of time under my belt, but it is a start.   It can be uncomfortable at times, but I will not lie...It's totally worth it!!  :)

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Good Morning Junie and thank you so much for your reply to me. I am happy to hear about your progress and understand the challenges on so many levels that remain. At least you're able to be in a hopeful place versus being hopeless.

We traveled from Minneapolis to Denver this week for my wife

Diane's first Ketamine infusion therapy with hope for a positive outcome. We're also going to do a full Psycho-pharmacological evaluation with the Dr. Performing the infusion therapy in hopes of finding anti_viral and/or other meds that can help her.

Unfortunately, she did not react to the infusion treatment well and was frightened by the detachment she felt from it saying she didn't like the feeling of tripping. She also reacted with nausea which has been a major problem all along and was not able to eat much afterward so probably became a little dehydrated. All of that fueled an extreme (but not uncommon) despondent and hopeless reaction and she just wants it over with aka death to get out of her misery. Now we were told by another patient who was there at the time that she actually reacted badly to her first treatment too but reluctantly did a second and a few subsequent treatments over a four month period and has now emerged from total despair to a new life changing place of wellness but still very afraid - like you are reporting.

I'm wondering how you're initial reaction went on your first treatment.? Also have other questions if you'd be willing. I'm giving you my email address in case you'd be willing to communicate over the phone. Thanks again for your kind response. I am new at this forum so didn't see your response until this morning. Jon.rappaport@gmail.com

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Hello JonDRapp,

 

It was so wonderful getting the chance to chat with you.  I hope that Diane is feeling some positive effects from her Ketamine Infusion.  I was just thinking about the both of you, and I'm sending well wishes your way!!  :)

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Hi Junie,

I hope all is well. Congratulations on your success. I am looking into ketamine. Would you be able to talk about your experience at all with me?

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Junie and JonDRapp.  I appreciate the conversation you both started over 3 years ago regarding Junie's experience using Ketamine to help treat your MDD and other mood disorders and Jon's commitment to helping your wife get out of the dark hole of depression using ketamine.  I've been suffering from MDD for over 8 months now and am at the point where I can hardly function, I have no interest or pleasure in anything anymore (used to be the life of the party), my appetite is gone and I'm at the point of not wanting to live because of a feeling of total despair every second.  But have so many good reasons to live (lots of wonderful family and friends).  My body doesn't handle antisepressants or mood stabilizers well and after researching ketamine it gives me a little bit of hope that there's a chance there's something that can help me overcome this episode of mdd.  I wanted to see if you both would be willing to give an update on where Junie and Diane are at as of Feb 2017 related to their condition and the ketamine treatment.  Thank you and hope all are well.  

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Jon.rappaport@gmail.com

Jon only posted 3 times in one week and hasn't posted again, but he did openly share his email so you might contact him directly for answers. 

I hope you can get some answers and find help for your concerns. 

Wishing you relief,

Diane (a different Diane) 

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Hi Diane.  I appreciate the response and well wishes.  And also appreciate you sending Jon's contact info.  Thanks you and hope you're well.  Jason

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Jason, I am also wondering how Junie and .Diane are doing  now?  Condering the iinfusion treatment  for my 21-yr old son.  DId Junie achieve long lasting results?  Did Diane continue treatment, and how is her depression?   Would like to hear from anyone their long term results and side effects?   Anyone with Tourette's?   How were your tics affected?   Thanks.  

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