Memory Fears Surfacing

[sTeaLth 237]

I've never struggled with this particular fear before but the last few weeks I have been under a lot of stress and not been sleeping well.  I am fairly certain that is all this is but there have been a few times where I forgot what I was about to say or didn't remember something I just said, therefore repeating myself.  I think in both cases I have been distracted and focusing on more than one thing at a time.  Still, it is a bit disconcerting.  I am 38, so the likelihood of anything sinister is very low, but I can't shake the feeling something may be wrong.  As with most anxiety things.  😕

[Ironman 192]

2 hours ago, sTeaLth said:

I've never struggled with this particular fear before but the last few weeks I have been under a lot of stress and not been sleeping well.  I am fairly certain that is all this is but there have been a few times where I forgot what I was about to say or didn't remember something I just said, therefore repeating myself.  I think in both cases I have been distracted and focusing on more than one thing at a time.  Still, it is a bit disconcerting.  I am 38, so the likelihood of anything sinister is very low, but I can't shake the feeling something may be wrong.  As with most anxiety things.  😕

This is more common than you think.  If you are anxious, you are hypervigilant and are subconsciously trying to remember too much at once.  We take in more information, so naturally something out of the worry zone can get pushed aside.  Even master multitaskers can only handle so much at once.

[sTeaLth 237]

Honestly, I am not really that concerned as I have had this happen from time to time over the years and it comes down to a focus thing.  If I am focused on something, I miss other things.  Being super tired and stressed definitely makes it worse though.

[Ironman 192]

1 minute ago, sTeaLth said:

Honestly, I am not really that concerned as I have had this happen from time to time over the years and it comes down to a focus thing.  If I am focused on something, I miss other things.  Being super tired and stressed definitely makes it worse though.

Stress and fatigue will add to it because you will feel like you missed something, and then you worry about that.

Something is going to slide.  That is why we have to learn to close up the zone on what to worry about and let the other stuff go.

It's taken a lot of work for me to do this, but it's working so far.   We're all human lol.

[sTeaLth 237]

This morning I went in to talk to my wife about my plans for the day.  Plan:  Mow, Fix Gate, Shower, Food, Store.  I was planning to tell her something about some books I was looking at online, then decided not to and walked into the closet and said, "I'm going to shower".  Meaning to go change to mow... and she was like "Did you just say you are showing"?  I was like, "I meant change and mow, then fix the gate, then shower."  For some reason this kind of thing, which I would normally ignore, is what bothers me as I notice it now.  It was my default response to walking into my closet, which would be to shower probably, but I just said shower.  Why I can't just ignore it and move on...I don't know.

[Ironman 192]

22 hours ago, sTeaLth said:

This morning I went in to talk to my wife about my plans for the day.  Plan:  Mow, Fix Gate, Shower, Food, Store.  I was planning to tell her something about some books I was looking at online, then decided not to and walked into the closet and said, "I'm going to shower".  Meaning to go change to mow... and she was like "Did you just say you are showing"?  I was like, "I meant change and mow, then fix the gate, then shower."  For some reason this kind of thing, which I would normally ignore, is what bothers me as I notice it now.  It was my default response to walking into my closet, which would be to shower probably, but I just said shower.  Why I can't just ignore it and move on...I don't know.

That's the hypervigilance and being mentally overloaded.  The brain always runs faster than the physical body can.  You have to slow down that brain CPU so that your body can catch up.  

You may even derealize (get spacey feelings), but that is a big issue with SAers.

[sTeaLth 237]

I’m believing I’m fine at this point. I had a good night of sleep. Woke up anxious but I can’t find any issues with remembering anything today. It’s been a normal day. I think stress let something normal freak me out. 

[Ironman 192]

3 hours ago, sTeaLth said:

I’m believing I’m fine at this point. I had a good night of sleep. Woke up anxious but I can’t find any issues with remembering anything today. It’s been a normal day. I think stress let something normal freak me out. 

Stress causes anxiety....and the other way around too.  You broke the cycle by getting rest!

[sTeaLth 237]

Over a year later, this has mostly disappeared but every now and then I have a moment of some kind that makes me get a bit anxious over it again.  This morning I was all ready to go and take the kids to school, my wife was still in her bath robe, and as I made my coffee to go I went into my goodbye speech that I usually give the kids before my wife takes them. Near the end of it I realized I was taking them and turned it into a joke, "Just kidding, I know I am going with you." It got my focus right away because I definitely thought for a minute there that I was not going to see them until after school once they left the house. Granted, my wife usually does take them, so I went into auto pilot I think. Memory stuff is weird because would you even know if there was a problem?  😕  I am trying not to over react.  My wife waved it off as routine... but it is hard for me to do that so easily.

[Ironman 192]

10 hours ago, sTeaLth said:

Over a year later, this has mostly disappeared but every now and then I have a moment of some kind that makes me get a bit anxious over it again.  This morning I was all ready to go and take the kids to school, my wife was still in her bath robe, and as I made my coffee to go I went into my goodbye speech that I usually give the kids before my wife takes them. Near the end of it I realized I was taking them and turned it into a joke, "Just kidding, I know I am going with you." It got my focus right away because I definitely thought for a minute there that I was not going to see them until after school once they left the house. Granted, my wife usually does take them, so I went into auto pilot I think. Memory stuff is weird because would you even know if there was a problem?  😕  I am trying not to over react.  My wife waved it off as routine... but it is hard for me to do that so easily.

Meh - distractions happen.  Stress happens.  It's all good.

[sTeaLth 237]

 

This continues to crop back up randomly. Nothing major, but little things. Had a contractor at my house early yesterday morning and he asked me for my insurance card, I gave him my health insurance card. Took me about 5 minutes to realize he needed my home insurance, not health insurance card. Today I realized I had an in office lunch that was set about two months ago. Totally forgot about it probably due to how far out it was and I didn't check my calendar ahead. Still, adds to the pile. This morning, telling my wife I was going to wear certain shoes, two minutes later saying I might wear these others shoes only to have her remind me that I just said I was wearing those shoes. Then again later talking about a basketball game the following night, only to forget there was a game and that we had talked about it. Once my memory was jogged, I did remember talking about it. But I had to be reminded to bring those to the surface. Why won't this just stop? Or why can't I just ignore the little things that are probably simple misses when thinking about other things? So frustrating. This thing goes away for months and then slams into me again and works overtime to convince me there is truly a problem. 😞

[sTeaLth 237]

On 10/28/2023 at 11:34 AM, Ironman said:

That's the hypervigilance and being mentally overloaded.  The brain always runs faster than the physical body can.  You have to slow down that brain CPU so that your body can catch up.  

You may even derealize (get spacey feelings), but that is a big issue with SAers.

You were right too. I have been getting that spacey feeling lately. It’s usually when my anxiety and “memory” issues are freaking me out too. 

[Ironman 192]

On 12/5/2024 at 1:05 PM, sTeaLth said:

You were right too. I have been getting that spacey feeling lately. It’s usually when my anxiety and “memory” issues are freaking me out too. 

You're overloading yourself and then freaking out about things that you can't balance on that overloaded plate.  

At that point, you have to stop and assess what you can handle and let the rest go.

[sTeaLth 237]

Yesterday I decided to take it for what it is, stress, anxiety, and normal to forget things or mix things up sometimes. I had good peace most of the day. I decided not to focus on small triggers, and there were a few. Instead I just noticed them and moved on as I knew I should. It helped me not even spike worry on some.  Today I have had a few s well, but overall, not worrying about it.  Stress and business is messing with me.

[Ironman 192]

9 hours ago, sTeaLth said:

Yesterday I decided to take it for what it is, stress, anxiety, and normal to forget things or mix things up sometimes. I had good peace most of the day. I decided not to focus on small triggers, and there were a few. Instead I just noticed them and moved on as I knew I should. It helped me not even spike worry on some.  Today I have had a few s well, but overall, not worrying about it.  Stress and business is messing with me.

Stress can trigger anxiety.  The anxiety pattern is  a distraction.  We actually thrive is these situations because we are used to the anxious condition.