A Morning in the Life of a Hypochondriac

[BrightPhoenix 78]

Hi all, haven't posted in awhile.  Have been undergoing a tremendous HA flare.  I don't normally say this, but trigger warnings for those of you who have health anxiety.  Please click off if you're worried about digestive issues and head issues.

 

As a coping mechanism, I'm just going to write a blog of what one of my days were like.  I will try to keep it as nonspecific as possible, but I'm hoping by writing this you'll know you're not alone and that yes a lot of us are experiencing something similar.

Background - I had an EGD on Saturday - got some pain in my jaw area the day after.  Been experiencing some digestive problems - EGD showed me to be clear.  I also have tinnitus that has gotten louder since my HA flare began since last month.  Been experiencing some hemorrhoids as well (only look it up if your HA is under control, it's treatable but please be careful)

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Had diarrhea in the evening, an hour after eating my dinner, probably something my stomach didn't like?  Go to bed, play Anxiety Guy health anxiety meditation video to try to sleep better.  *Get up in the morning, wake up way too early in the morning for no reason*

Rectum feels strange, head to bathroom to pee.  Wipe and see some bright red blood, panic, wipe a couple more times, there's less of it.  "Why do I have this again?  I had this two weeks ago."  Try go back to bed, brain now trying to think up why I'd have these symptoms.  Brain goes off in 10 different tangents.

30 minutes later, run to the bathroom because of some severe stomach aches - diarrhea.  "I wonder if the diarrhea I had is linked to all this, but it sounds like I ate something my body didn't like last week, but what if it's x?"  Spend 1-2 hours in bed awake afterwards, trying hard to resist googling symptoms.

"Wake" up at 6:30 AM, try to do morning routine - feel some dizziness - what's going on with my brain?  Why do I still feel like this?  Stay in bed while thinking about symptoms, trying to resist Googling, look up nomorepanic and anxiety-central for them.  Pain in jaw still lingers, I poke around my jawline (not my lymph nodes) and keep poking until my jawline hurts.  Feel "painful lumps" even though they're all on my jawline.  Try to eat - saw something spicy, thought against it, try to eat regular bland food - can barely eat it without promoting a gag reflex.

Drag myself out of house to work at 7:45.  Drive car to McDOnald's to get some coffee, while fumbling around for my wallet, I tap the soft sun visor in my car against the side of my head.  Mind freaks out about concussion, which I've been worrying about all week last week.

Barely start work day and I want to crawl up in a hole and not think about it again.  Every time I eat I get reminded (jaw, bowel movements, etc), every time I move I get reminded (chest tightness, etc), every time I sleep I get reminded, etc.

[MARC 431]

Back in late June 2021 my day started out OK. I felt more tired then usual. I went to work, ate dinner and went to Starbucks to meet some friends. I left early as I felt weird. I went home and tried to go to bed. Suddenly I felt ill and started wretching and threw up twice.I tried to go to bed and got up again at around 4am and began to wretch and threw up again. I felt really bad and thought I saw red in my vomit. I also started getting pain that went from my stomach to my back and that made me nervous. I felt really weak and woke my wife up and she agreed I should go to the ER. We arrived at the ER at 5am and I was taken back to a room after triage. I was dehydrated and was given an IV. They ordered a CT scan with contrast of my abdomen and pelvis. I told the nurse I was allergic to the contrast and the nurse gave me IV benadryl so the contrast would not bother me and I was OK. My heart rate was high so the physician ordered my Troponin level checked and it was OK. They also checked my blood and urine. The CT scan was noted as unremarkable. I has a benign growth on my adrenal gland. I lost 10 pounds in one day. I was released at 3pm. The doctor thought I had a bad virus. I called my physician and I asked.him if I need an EGD. He said to call my GI physician. I called him on a Thursday and on Tuesday I had my EGD which was negative. What an ordeal 

[BrightPhoenix 78]

 

13 hours ago, MARC said:

Back in late June 2021 my day started out OK. I felt more tired then usual. I went to work, ate dinner and went to Starbucks to meet some friends. I left early as I felt weird. I went home and tried to go to bed. Suddenly I felt ill and started wretching and threw up twice.I tried to go to bed and got up again at around 4am and began to wretch and threw up again. I felt really bad and thought I saw red in my vomit. I also started getting pain that went from my stomach to my back and that made me nervous. I felt really weak and woke my wife up and she agreed I should go to the ER. We arrived at the ER at 5am and I was taken back to a room after triage. I was dehydrated and was given an IV. They ordered a CT scan with contrast of my abdomen and pelvis. I told the nurse I was allergic to the contrast and the nurse gave me IV benadryl so the contrast would not bother me and I was OK. My heart rate was high so the physician ordered my Troponin level checked and it was OK. They also checked my blood and urine. The CT scan was noted as unremarkable. I has a benign growth on my adrenal gland. I lost 10 pounds in one day. I was released at 3pm. The doctor thought I had a bad virus. I called my physician and I asked.him if I need an EGD. He said to call my GI physician. I called him on a Thursday and on Tuesday I had my EGD which was negative. What an ordeal 

Wow, I'm so sorry you had to go through this.  So glad you made it through - that's the kind of stuff I am legit worried about and I can't imagine how high your HA was through all that.

Did your HA stick around after the docs cleared you or was it alleviated after all the scans and tests?

[MARC 431]

After the tests were over and I was cleared, I felt a lot better. 

[BrightPhoenix 78]

6 hours ago, MARC said:

After the tests were over and I was cleared, I felt a lot better. 

What you went through is what some hypochondriacs worry about.  That hospital visit or visit to urgent care where you know there is something going on and that you are sure you're absolutely right.  Only to be proven completely wrong.

I've resisted multiple urges to go to the Urgent Care this past week because of my hypochondria.

[Concerned-pa 17]

This is me lately as well. My back injury spurred it 4 weeks ago and I've been a train wreck ever since.

[MARC 431]

What made me go the ER was that I thought I saw blood in my vomit and the pain radiating from my stomach to my back, which I thought may be a problem with my pancreas. I went to St Joseph Medical Center in Towson Maryland, which is a large regional medical center. I have been to the ER their a number of times before, and they have always treated me well.