Unsure of this

[Hoshi 4]

So I've always been aware that my anxiety is pretty chronic when there's some specific thing or another that is going on to trigger it (social events, money, housing etc). I also know that I used to be pretty chill when nothing was happening- those scarce gaps when I just had time to breathe and had no immediate worries that I always really looked forward to.

 

But these days I've been noticing that when these gaps occur, there's a constant feeling of general unease even if there is nothing going on. If I've been stressed over fulfilling a certain commitment, once it's all sorted, rather than feeling everything's fine and now I have nothing else to do but go home and relax, I'll have this residual feeling of dread that just creeps up on me. Almost like it's been waiting in the wings, and it's a much more insidious sort of feeling because there's no immediate cause, and so no way for me to deal with it. I'm used to having issues that can be dealt with practically in one way or another, to reduce the anxiety directly.

 

Usually if the feeling doesn't go away I know it's likely because there's another genuine thing at the back of my mind I've forgotten about which is niggling at me. So if I'm trying to relax, instead I'm constantly worrying 'oh no there's something I forgot to do', 'something important is coming up' even if I know really there isn't- it's the only way I can rationalize the sensation.

 

It's just bugging especially because I felt it really strongly today, I went out with a few female friends for a nice drink and a meal to celebrate finishing this employment training course- I should have been relieved and happy to have put all the hard work behind me and have time off ahead. But everytime it got quiet or I went to the loo and was alone even for a couple of minutes, it would be like I was only distracting myself from the looming feeling in the background which would suddenly leap up in my throat again, it just dragged me down and stopped me from really having a nice time.

 

I know this feeling is all pretty typical of GAD, but whilst I do suffer from quite severe anxiety- as I said usually I am set off by marked triggers, so this is pretty weird for me. Not really sure what to do 

[Gilly 1086]

Hey hoshi, this very well can happen and is what happened to me. The anxiety grew and branched out from just suffering when I had to do something, like you say, social gatherings, appts etc to more everyday even when I had nothing troubling me. It seemed to even flourish when I was able to relax. I believe it is a result of the effort we have to put in to be able to do these things that make us anxious, the adrenaline produced, the anxious thoughts etc it can become a habit of the subconscious. I started by being anxious about something I had to do then started to fear being anxious anytime, which made me anxious all the time.

 

CBT helped me, it helped me to accept the anxiety and still do what I had to do, what I wanted to do, I was trying to avoid being anxious instead of living with and doing things with anxiety but not fearing it. I think it might be a good idea to see your doctor and discuss your options for therapy, medication is an option too. Before it progresses to anything worse. I started with, I will call it situation anxiety with emetophobia, and panic attacks and ended up with GAD and agoraphobia too, I don't want to see you go down that road.

[JOYCICLE 654]

YUP!  Even when things are good , we feel something must be wrong and I just can't quite put my finger on it. 

I know it and have lived it and it sucks ! Don't worry hon. It is Only the anxiety lying to you ....... LIES LIES LIES !
Tell that thought to jump off a cliff and let you be content for a minute !