Anyone Else Dealing with This?

[CPO06 0]

Does anyone else here have health/illness anxiety? I've had generalized anxiety, and at times, panic disorder for the past 12 years (I'm in my early 30's). Most of my anxiety was more related to social situations, academics, and big crowds. After having my first child about 2 years ago, it seems the health anxiety started. I had complications after the birth, including a severe infection and preeclampsia (let me add that I absolutely hate hospitals and they give me anxiety). After everything resolved, I began paying attention to my heart rate constantly. For a little while I was repeatedly taking my blood pressure and heart rate, even though both were great. It was almost if I was looking for something to be wrong. At times, I would also get the chest tightness/breathing issues that I know are associated with anxiety (had a chest x-ray, EKG). At the beginning of last month I ended up with the flu. I got pretty sick with fevers of up to 102.5, rapid heart rate at times, terrible cough. Went to the ER twice and they took chest x-ray, EKG, listened to lungs, ran blood work, everything looked fine. After recovering for a few days, I caught a gastro virus which came with a low fever. I went back to the ER, panicked that I had pneumonia or something. Everything checked out fine. A week later, my head was hurting, I had chest tightness, heart palpitations, and a stuffy, burning nose. I went back to the ER in a panic and they told me that it was a sinus infection and started me on antibiotics. I was sick for a good 3 weeks. After everything resolved, I began to have panic attacks and general anxiety throughout the day, convincing myself that I wasn't better and something must be wrong. Anxiety is a vicious cycle for me, it turns into faster heart rate, crying, nausea/stomach tightness and chest tightness. I have lost about 5 pounds and most recently convinced myself that something is seriously wrong because I'm not intentionally trying to lose weight (thanks, Google). I started tracking my calorie intake and realized I wasn't eating enough. So now I'm obsessively checking my weight and heart rate and forcing myself to eat more (its tough because of the nauseousness from anxiety). Most recently, bloodwork showed slight anemia, but the next week I took another test and it said it resolved. I think it was from not eating. My doctor ordered a final blood test before the last one, that I only went in for a few days ago (to check on the anemia, which has resolved, per the last test). I'm waiting for those results and having severe anxiety about it. I'm convincing myself that there is something else seriously wrong. I'm at witt's end here. Has anyone dealt with anything similar?

[enidoreilley 83]

Well, I have not dealt with exactly this cluster of illnesses. But most of your story I completely relate to. I have also had anxiety for most of my life, but my fears were laser focused on my health and my son's health from the time I fell pregnant. Interestingly, I am one of the least socially anxious people I know now, lol!

I'm sorry you've been so sick! Sounds like you're having a rough end to the winter. In terms of something far more serious, of course I cannot tell you you definitely are not because I am not the doctor treating you, but it sounds like quite a few of them are telling you it is not. Based on this post, you have had just about every diagnostic under the sun and it's all coming up within a reasonable range of health that is enough for them to discharge you. We often don't eat properly when we are in the middle of serious anxiety episodes, as we are so distracted by our physical symptoms and our catastrophizing that we are not taking proper care of ourselves. It sounds like you are on top of it and are being treated by doctors who are listening to you. I have certainly had viruses that last long periods of time, but if you are improving at all, take heart - you've just got the winter crud. It stinks and it feels like your new normal but it's not and spring is coming. 

Take care! 

[CPO06 0]

Thanks for replying. Your response is reassuring. I'm trying my best to not hyper-focus on every little thing, I simply can't help it. I've had a few short periods of extreme anxiety over the years, but this one is really bad! I really wish that the ER would have run more tests instead of sending me back to the GP, and then having the GP send me over to a different lab for a test and a cardiologist across town. It would be nice to have just gotten everything cleared at once. I think its time for meds and counseling. Then of course, I always have the fear that it won't get better  Its an endless cycle!

[enidoreilley 83]

There are individuals on here who have been pretty successful in minimizing or overcoming their health anxiety. I have not been as successful, but I've had longer periods of peace between health panics with the help of cognitive behavioral therapy and Lexapro. I spent literally years of my life ignoring all the important things (friends, family, job) and focusing on my invented illnesses. I have spent thousands of dollars on unnecessary tests. I've spent 2 whole Christmases in the ER when there was nothing wrong with me. I totally get the inability to break your focus or reassure yourself. For now, focus on feeling better and getting through this day and when you are able, go talk to a professional. My anxiety has been described to me as a form of OCD which makes a lot of sense when you think about the behaviors and thoughts that are involved. Best of luck! 

[Nat1996 23]

I also struggle to the point where I'm running to the ER every time I notice something new only to be cleared and sent home. Every time I leave I dont feel better either so why do i keep going? I say "it was really busy in there, that doctor was almost done her shift, she probably didn't look that hard at the results, maybe she missed something or dismissed me because I'm young and it's unlikely." Its literally the worst. My doctor has also mentioned it's a type of OCD for me because unless someone physically takes my phone I can't not research. I would sound like a fully trained doctor to someone who didn't know anything about the disease I'm obsessed with in the moment. I memorize stats, symptoms, causes, testing everything and then spend my day running everything through my head. Its exhausting! I've recently started therapy and I've been on zoloft since January, the panic attacks have gotten further apart but the obsessing definitely hasn't calmed down I'm sorry you're going through this also as I understand how hard it can be. I hope you find some relief soon!

[CPO06 0]

Good news. So it turns out my new labs are normal, whew. Cardiologist says that my heart sounds good, ekg looks good, but wants to run an echo just in case because I had the flu last month. Now I have to schedule and wait for the echo too.

[CPO06 0]

Echo is scheduled but the earliest they could squeeze me in is April 4th! Now I’m having major anxiety about whether my heart is functioning properly. I felt good after the cardiologist listened to my heart/neck, reviewed the ekg and told me everything was normal. I was reading about heart failure a few days ago and now panicking, thinking all of the “what if’s” because I had high blood pressure for 3-4 months after baby. I keep telling myself if there was any real indication of a heart issue, the echo would be done immediately  any reassurance would be appreciated.

[BrightPhoenix 78]

Make sure you find a therapist.  This is very important because those visits will help you get all your worries off your chest - therapists have seen and heard everything and health anxiety is a very common thing.  Have you made plans to see one yet?