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This is bad...

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I am struggling...I lost my father Dec 31, 2018 and my mom 3 months earlier. If I hear 1 more person say "it is a blessing "they went so close together I think I will lose my shit!!!. My father had multiple health issues including dementia so half the time he didn't even remember he was married. People assume one couldn't get along without the other so they died of a broken heart. Well real life can be a lot more ugly than these fairytale endings. I have been so depressed I have a hard time functioning. I had been on antidepressants for 20 yrs because I have generalized anxiety with a minor in hypochondria. Well read on the internet that antidepressants are linked to dementia so that has scared the crap out of me so I weaned myself off everything. Im finding life is very hard to manage without meds. I have a husband but no children, 53 yrs old and I see no purpose for my life, no drive to do anything. Afraid I will be alone at some point withering away from dementia in a nursing home, cannot get past this thought!!! I keep thinking how lucky people are that have children they will always have someone. I will not

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