On the BRINK ...

[JOYCICLE 654]

.....of mofo'ing flipping the mofo OUT !  Ok so my whole family , extended cousins, aunts, uncles etc are all meeting up in CO this summer . Late July at a camp about 2 hrs west of Denver, the altitude is almost 10k feet. We did this 10 or 11 yrs ago. It was a fun time but my son was sick as heck and had to go to emergency room with altitude sickness, unable to breath and I myself had so much of the altitude sickness I was miserable and faint headed the whole time there.  We stayed about 4 days and headed down from the mountain and were immediately relieved of our symptoms.  So to not distress anyone about altitude , normal high altitude like Denver, the MILE high city is completely tolerable. The air is a touch thinner but it's not a problem. It's recommended for people going into the higher elevations to stay in Denver for a couple of days and let your body acclimate before going HIGHER  . Well you don't always have time to do that, do you ? Mind you 10 yrs ago, I had basically zero anxiety issues, certainly none that I was aware of as such , anyway.   ( think anxiety, shortness of breath, chest sensations, high altitude, thinner air, troiuble breathing, shallow breath, not enough oxygen, etc)  So some months back my cousins and my MOFO'ing OWN SISTER start drumming up the plans for another family reunion in the mountains WOOHOOO, it'll be fun, you HAVE TO COME oh come on YOU MUST GO, we'll ALL BE THERE. What do you think ?  I said well me and my kids cannot go because we are prone to altitude sickness so its' not that much fun. Why spend tons of $$ and waste time driving a day and half up there ? to be sick? I can stay home, throw my money at the grocery store and pay per view movies, still have leftover and none of the hassle .  I said why don't we do it somewhere for flatlanders and they didn't want to . That's ok ..............cuz guess what? I have social anxiety anyway and didn't want to see all your stinkers in close proximity for a week !  These are cousins who live across the country,, some I've not seen since the event 10 yrs ago. That means they are not super close cousins, but more the kind that you love and want to talk to on FB but face to face talks might be a tad uncomfortable ......or worse ........right ?  Let's see the event would be my 3 siblings and 3 three kids, 13 cousins and their 13 kids. ( wow I jsut counted and yes there are 13 kids between the 13 cousins , lol)  Plus 3 aunts and 3 uncles..... plus anyone else who they drag along. Starting to sound fun right??    So I told them all from day one I'm not going because of the altitude thingy and another reason is it will cost me MAJOR bucks to leave home and I 'm not sure I've a vehicle fit to drive into the mountains on a day long journey alone with my kids. Its' a very long drive. So they all knew I wasn't going but as time has gone by I get these shitty little comments from people, mostly my sister........kind of implying I'm a family hater for not going because everyone else is going .............. its beginning to piss me straight off. In fact beginning to is past tense now  

Then last week one of my uncles and i were chatting on f b and every other comment he said ' what day are you going to be there' 

I wanted to tell him ......................... many things..............and did not..............out of respect for my elders. 

So now , with it only one month away, Im thinking about not taking phone calls and blocking them all from fb so I don't have to hear the crap . I'm an adult and I've made a decision based on history, logic and common sense, with onlya  twinge of anxiety involved . I have to say that to be honest, but it's mostly because i just DONT WANT TO . Why would I want to do that ? My family is very VERY demanding , all of them, they come by it honestly from my mom's side and this is my mom's side , all of them , her brothers and their kids ....... and they're about to get on my last nerve. The cousins arent' even the ones because I've got 2 cousins in IDAHO who are not going either and I'm wondering if fokls are giving them grief as well. Hmm I should write them and ask . 

 

So thanks for the vent ! 

[claireymary 2]

Thats a shame theyre not being more understanding about this. Especially your sister. I take it she knows about your anxiety?

to be honest with you, I wouldnt want to go either! And you definitely have the right to make your own decisions! I think its perfectly reasonable so dont feel bad. Good to vent though

[jonathan123 2359]

Joy, you could base a good soap on that one. Relatives!! We can choose our friends but relatives we are saddled with from birth. Aren't dominant people a pain?, you do it their way or else! There is one word in the English language that we should all understand the meaning of; a short word 'NO'." I don't bloody well want to do that so shut it". If they don't think you mean it then hard luck.Well or anxious we give far too much attention to these dominant people and when we are down they seem to become more forceful. There is a book written by one of your countrymen, Scott Peck, called "People of the Lie". He talks about how we normally see evil as being something bad and violent but he talks about the more subtle forms of evil. I am not saying your relatives are that way because, as he says, their intention is always good, or so they think. The old saying "The path to hell is paved with good intentions" is so true. One thing in life that really irritates me is the '"You must read that book I know you will like it' or "You must go to that shopping centre you will love it". How the hell do they know I will like it. "Join in the fun", they say and when you say you don't want to you get called an old misery. Keep your head below the barricade, Joy, and stuff the lot of them. It is said that during WW2 Winston Churchill was asked how he managed to sleep with all the responsibility he had and he said "I just say, to hell with the lot of them, turn over and go to sleep". Perhaps we should try that.  And thanks for giving me the chance for a good rant. Best wishes.   J. 

[Gilly 1085]

Joy you don't have to feel guilty that you don't want to go, anxiety, altitude sickness whatever, are irrelevant if you just don't want to do that sort of thing. It's a little ignorant to think everyone would just want to jump and go. I forced myself to go to a few of Stephen's family gatherings when we were first married, not that I didn't want to be sociable, or was too anxious, it's just not my thing to sit around gossiping and drinking all day. Bores me stupid. I ended up kicking a ball around out in the garden with the kids every time. 

[JOYCICLE 654]

 

 

 

Funny how the time goes rushing by and all the little things we leave behind....................... 

There's no time ! 

[jonathan123 2359]

And another thing (!!!!) We went to see some friends the other day and their grandchildren were there together with their parents. The whole afternoon was taken up with childish conversation which revolved round the children. Whenever I tried to change the child talk I was blocked and it reverted back. I have never been so bored. I was glad to get away and felt the old anxiety frustration thing for a while. A complete waste of time and the parents and grandparents did nothing about it. The old adage "Children should be seen and not heard" is a bit hard and they do need to express themselves, but this was way over the top. I wonder if the parents realise what a pain they are.  J.