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I made an account on this site because I don’t really have anyone else to talk to. I’ve been struggling with Anxiety since I was about 14 but what I’m experiencing now at 20 is a world of its own. I feel like I’m going to burst out of my head or that my brain is just going to come out of my skull, it’s not a physical thing like a headache or something, just a fear I have and this weird feeling of it going to happen. I am absolutely terrified of death and terrified of losing my memory or not knowing who I am. Lately I’m just on autopilot doing things I’d usually do like go to work, talk to my friends but in my head there’s a constant battle. I feel like I may have depersonalisation, because I lose sense of my reality frequently, I don’t know what we as humans are, what we’re made of, how we see, the way we exist. It gets so bad that I’m afaraid of sleeping because I think i’ll Die in my sleep. Does anyone else feel this way? Is there a way I could explain this to my doctor without sounding completey crazy.

Hello all I know I have been kind of making threads similar to one and other but I feel worse but better at the same time so I would like to just get it out and feel a little more comfortable. I've been suffering from bad anxiety all my life but sense this past January I had a horrible experience with marijuana that triggered severe anxiety and derealization. Following that was tons of panic attacks and episodes of feeling detached or like I was looking at reality through a TV or glass. Feeling like I'm pulled away from reality and everything seems like a dream and its sometimes so convincing that I will think is this really reality? Which as you can imagine gets very scary to think about. So the past few days into today these feelings of derealization/depersonalization have built up and today seems to be the worst. I truly do feel like everything is a dream. And its causing anxiety which is making my day a living heck. And on top of all this I have severe health related anxiety. If I read it I think I have it. Hypochondriac basically. Lately I noticed I have mild to moderate tinnitus from loud concerts and music as well ass head trauma as a child but lately I'm constantly thinking about it getting worse and driving me "insane" because I've read people supposedly loose of due to tinnitus not letting them ever hear silence. Stuff like that makes me really anxious through out my day. When I go to see my therapist we talk things through and it doesn't seem so bad but then I get home and start experiencing this again and I feel like crap again. Another thing that's been bothering me lately to is I have been noticing this really weird thing where when I get really anxious or panicked I seem to like dwell on sounds and images as memories that have happened and they like repeat because I'm dwelling so much on them. Here's and example I saw a loud car go by the other day. I was anxious while it happened and when I started really thinking about it I felt like I was replaying that car go by over and over like a daydream. Could see and hear it very vividly felt like I am loosing touch with reality when this happens. And altough I don't fully believe I'm loosing grip on reality with the way I'm thinking and experiencing life right now its hard to not second guess. And on top of all of this sometimes I feel depressed because I think that I'm never going to be able to live life like I used to again and that this is basically it for me. I'm just going to live life like a closed in anxious person and not enjoy life. I cant say I've never thought about the whole s*****e subject but I never actually believe in it I never feel its the right answer. To be honest when I think of it I get anxious and panic because I don't want to do that. And also when I think about not living life to the fullest and having fun I always counteract those thoughts by saying I will overcome this and live life like I want to. But anyways I'm sorry for the long long long explanation but wow does it feel good to let it out. Thanks for reading and any input is greatly appreciated.