Hey Ryan, I am currently experiencing the exact same thing. Down to each letter. I have never found anything that literally describes what I am going through right now. I am unsure wether these thoughts class as intrusive thoughts and wether to look at CBT as a form of self-help/therapy? It felt so liberating to read that I wasn't the only one with similar thought processes and brought a sense of normality. I am curious to your recovery with these thoughts and if you can recommend any help with over coming them. Wishing you all the best, again, thank you.