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liveinthenow last won the day on July 14 2019

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  1. I've had this exact same thing lately! Almost like a tiny bit of food or something stuck in the back of my throat - it is irritating but goes away when I stop thinking about it.
  2. Yeah I get this a lot too when I'm driving, like feeling constantly on the verge of cramping or just generally tight in the calves and arches of my feet. Almost definitely a result of all our stress and anxiety (and exercise if you do leg exercises)!
  3. @wingo22 exercising (with the intent to get fit rather than test my strength) has helped a lot, but also seeing a therapist to get over the anxiety is probably the number one thing. The perceived weakness is just another manifestation of it and proof that our minds are insanely powerful! @MamaBear my dad does the exact same thing when I can do something that I wouldn't be able to do if I was sick! 😂 We recently went for a bike ride where we raced up a hill, and after I beat him up there he said "wow if you've got mnd, I must have even WORSE mnd!". I wish it was so easy for us to see ourselves from a rational perspective like our family do haha @Ekr4eva you are so correct, focusing on the here and now is the way to go. Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius in his book "Meditations" that the past has already happened, the future is uncertain, the only thing we can control is the present moment. And we are all going to get through this HA!
  4. @MamaBear I know exactly what you mean. And even though we can try and convince ourselves with the statistics it doesn't really help that much because the real issue is our mind going "what if". Good luck holding out until your neuro appointment - the waiting is a killer, we all just want to be able to go back to enjoying life and not constantly being preoccupied with these fears. I look at this list and it reassures me for a while so hopefully that helps in the waiting.
  5. These are all coming from a doctor, are everyday representations of a neuro exam and subject to everyone's interpretation - if you could never do a pull up, not being able to do one now doesn't mean you are sick.
  6. Hi all, I had another extremely irrational a*s freak-out to my dad today (poor guy must be getting sick of it by now!), mainly about body wide twitches and weird sensations and cramps and stuff like that, and he gave me a pretty exhaustive list of things you would NOT be able to do if you had TRUE weakness/immobility/unusability of a muscle. First of all, again he clarified that motor diseases only affect power - simple as that. So if there is no power deficit, it's actually impossible to have a motor diseases regardless of what you and I have read online. Any reflex-related stuff is a result of an interrupted neural loop which again would have power-related consequences. So whenever you feel a twitch in the following areas, remember that if you can still do the following things, you are not weak and the twitches are just anxiety! Hands: Early weakness in hands presents as lack of coordination, so can you: Do up buttons? Type on a computer? Pull up a zipper? Eat with a knife and fork? Play piano or guitar or any other instrument (assuming you already knew how!)? Make a tight fist (this might be harder earlier in the morning)? Spread your hand out? Touch your fingers to your thumb rapidly? Pick up coins/small objects from a table? Sew/knit? Use chopsticks (again if you already could!)? Open a door handle? Write? Arms and shoulders Can you: Do push ups? Pull ups? Lift objects from high places? Hang paintings? Lift your arms or other objects above your head? Lift and carry grocery bags in from your car? Lift mugs and cups to your face? Carry your young child? Steer your car? Shrug your shoulders? Back/neck/abdomen Can you: Sit up out of bed? Lift your head off of your pillow? Do sit ups? Bend over without your chin flopping towards your chest? Sit up straight/have a good posture? Do leg lifts/any other core-related exercises? Legs and feet Can you: Wiggle your toes? Walk on your toes and heels? Do calf raises? Stand up out of a (not too low) chair? Do squats? Jump? Run/walk up or down stairs? Tap your toes on the ground with your heel on the ground? Rotate your feet outwards and inwards? Go for a run without tripping consistently? Ride your bike? Mouth/tongue Can you: Wiggle your tongue in your mouth (side to side and up and down)? Run your tongue around your teeth? Push your tongue against your cheeks? Stick your tongue out and pull it up towards your nose? Sing along to any song with changes in range and volume? Swallow without consistently regurgitating food and liquids up your nose (as if you've laughed while drinking milk)? These are all things that would be IMPOSSIBLE if you had true weakness of any of these muscle groups. This sure helped me and I hope it helps some people achieve clarity about their fears. Here is also a great link that substantiates this list. Hope everyone has a peaceful day, Matt EDIT: An interesting observation is that after a beer or two, or when I'm distracted with something interesting, my symptoms seem to almost disappear - they wouldn't go away if it were truly something sinister!
  7. Yes @Ekr4eva I know exactly what you mean - it's the fear of the future and unknown and 'what if' that is the real killer here. I don't even have to ask Dad to tell you that he'd say you've been examined and to trust the doctor who examined you. In the meantime, try immersing yourself in the moment and enjoying every day despite the twitches. It's so hard and I'm still struggling but with the CBT I think it'll definitely help!
  8. It's always like that hey? I start to get a grip on this HA and suddenly feel a twitch in a new place and it all starts over again... @Holls your twitching posts throughout this forum have helped me a lot so thank you!
  9. I've also had these the last few weeks! Sometimes it's just a heart palpitations that "feels" like a twitch since it's a bit deeper, other times it's just random. Spasms and cramps are painful contractions and would make you breathless/actually change your posture, so I think we can rule that out - I guess these are just some more twitches to irritate our anxious minds!
  10. I always get pretty nervous going to sleep, even though it's irrational I'm always scared that I'm going to wake up in the middle of the night/in the morning and not be able to move my hand/arm/foot or have some other symptom. I have woken up with weird twitches and limb/abdominal jerks and shortness of breath, I'm pretty sure this is just our super preoccupied minds getting nuked by our anxiety. Sleep is like my favorite thing too so it sucks when it's not happening or not pleasurable!
  11. This is a great post! I just came across another statistic that I thought was interesting considering our fears - the asteroid Bennu has a 1 in 2700 (0.037%) chance of hitting Earth between the years 2175 and 2199 (and this only if certain extremely unlikely gravitational events and interactions occur)! Many of the diseases listed are LESS LIKELY than a large asteroid impact within 200 years! For some reason this is reassuring and, considering that most astronomers aren't worried about the impact even with these odds, I feel like this can put into perspective how irrational most of our (even LESS likely) health worries are!
  12. Hey! First off, if I were you I'd have a look at the other people with A*S fears on this forum and how unless you have an inoperative muscle group and that specific group is twitching, you are probably fine. The body wide twitching, for five months, and absence of bodily weakness, also makes it almost certain that you are ok. With regards to bulbar fears, the following is summarized from a Neurology textbook (Neurology and Neurosurgery Illustrated: K. W. Lindsay & I. Bone): Bulbar would present with swallowing issues (food almost always travelling up the nasal passage, not just feeling like it's harder to swallow - the lump in the throat and apparent discomfort with swallowing is a common anxiety symptom - look up globus pharyngis). The tongue would either be immobile or "writhing, wasted and folded" with fasciculations, not just twitching (which everyone's tongue does). Speech would be monotonous (unable to change pitch) and OBVIOUSLY slurred (not just mixing up words). So, take a second to take a deep breath, have a glass of water and swallow, and wriggle your tongue side to side and up and down, and see that you're (physically) fine! Panic attacks and feeling like you're going crazy are all part of the process of going through the anxiety, all of us have experienced (and survived) them and remember that no matter how bad it feels and how hopeless you can feel right now, it will end. I recommend seeing a psychologist to see if there are underlying issues contributing to the hypochondria, mine has helped me a lot! Hope you have a peaceful day Matt
  13. @Slttry I'm pretty sure I did yes! But I think the googling happened to coincide with a really stressful period of time so I just focussed on them a lot more, and I definitely had a lot more twitching and fatigue because of the anxiety caused by them. Everyone twitches and remember, they don't actually mean anything! Loss of muscle function always precedes twitching with this particular disease, AND the twitching is specific to the affected muscle groups - so if you're twitching all over or in multiple places (I was having heavy non stop twitching in both calves for ages) that's another reassuring sign! My thumb also trembles a bit when I'm on my phone! It's a bit weird but it's just another manifestation of anxiety - the fact that you can still use your thumb means everything is fine - go get some chopsticks and see that you'll be fine!
  14. Neuro tests look for very specific patterns and test each muscle group individually to narrow down a problem area (if there is one). Any issue would almost certainly present in a thorough test!
  15. Hi all, Just thought I'd share something else that might help anyone having any a*s or other perceived weakness/twitching related anxiety! For anyone who hasn't read my other post, I am a 22yo male from Australia and have had this anxiety for nearly two months now, and my dad (a Critical Care physician specializing in neuro and respiratory medicine) has been helping me through it with constant reassurance and exercises to help prove that I'm ok. For those of us who feel the constant need to strength test ourselves to reassure ourselves that we're still ok, I just had an awesome day out with my (extremely understanding, thank goodness) girlfriend that got me out of the house for the first time in a while, and also was further proof that I'm completely fine and that it's ONLY ANXIETY, and I think lots of others could benefit - it's much better than hanging around the house doing whatever strange strength test we've concocted for ourselves! The first stop was indoor rock-climbing and bouldering. Every single course involves almost every muscle group, legs, arms, pecs, abs, even the easiest courses. Dad confirmed that there is absolutely no way you could even pull yourself off the ground or grab a hold with true weakness. If you were truly ill, it would be IMPOSSIBLE, not just hard, it wouldn't feel difficult, it would be IMPOSSIBLE. I promise you, it's a ton of fun and when you inevitably are able to do it and finish some courses, you'll feel so much better and more confident. And if this isn't enough to prove you're (physically) fine, my girlfriend took me out for Japanese food afterwards, and the fact that I could still use chopsticks further proves that it's all just anxiety. Dad confirmed that even in the earliest stages of the disease, you wouldn't be able to do complex movements, such as eating with chopsticks or things like playing piano or guitar, so this helps alleviate even early stage fears. Again, it wouldn't be difficult, it would be IMPOSSIBLE. This of course relies on you knowing how to use chopsticks in the first place, so if you can't don't worry about this part! Also, feel free to let me know if you have any questions you'd like me to ask Dad, especially if you've already been cleared by your neuro and GP and are just needing reassurance, it'd probably be easier than setting up another appointment! So I hope this helps anyone who is struggling to find motivation to leave the house or who is trying to break the reassurance cycle that we all suffer from. Also, the rock climbing is a great time and it'll make you forget your anxiety for a while! Hope everyone has a peaceful day, Matt