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About FranckCanvas

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  • Birthday 02/14/1986

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  1. I'm amazed that one person with so much success in her field, that's my understanding, could not be popular among other psychiatrists. I wonder if it has something to do with envy, or maybe just the fact that she generally cared for each person she delt with?
  2. Welcome Jen! I'm also pretty new on the forums, but already kind a feel like a part of a family I never knew existed. I'm currently writing a blog on this forum about my path to recovery, with the help of people here, and Dr. Claire Weekes. Feel more than welcome to read it. Maybe there's something you can use. I can tell that I'm getting better and better each day with the help from people here.
  3. Bipolar - A companion for life. Just a small update today! I’m almost done reading the book “Hope and Help for Your Nerves” by Dr. Claire Weekes. I’m quite surprised no one ever told me about her, or at least her methods. I’ve been speaking with several psychiatrists, doctors and even other people dealing with depressions, anxiety and bipolar, and at no point has anyone mentioned her. I don’t know if they never heard of her, that could be one explanation. If so, her books and methods should be taught in every education dealing with psychology. (Big thanks to the people at AC for telling me about her). I’ve felt restless and had loads of anxiety attacks sneaking up on me, but with 4 simple steps I can manage to keep calm. Face. Accept. Float Let time pass. I’m not gonna tell in depth about every step right now, but for anyone dealing with anxiety, no matter what kind, I recommend reading this book. Even if reading is a struggle right now. Get started!
  4. Bipolar - A companion for life. Its been a while since I’ve written anything… I haven’t really felt the need for it. Everyday has more or less looked the same. Still looking for jobs, still trying to stand tall, still having anxiety and still learning to deal with it. It’s hard not to fight against it when you’ve been doing it for several years. It just feels so natural to me. I feel I’m getting better at letting the anxiety just roll over me, but I still feel anxious. I still tend to stress myself, but listening through my audiobooks by Dr. Claire Weekes helps. I haven’t visited AC for a while, but I’ll try to be more active on the forum again. Especially when I get stressed. People there are experiencing the exact same feelings as me. They understand me. I know that a lot of people try to understand what I’m going through, but most people will never truly understand it. It’s not like being scared of spiders or such things. I’ve been asked many times: “What are you scared of?” “What are you afraid of?” “Why don’t you just get your act together and get over it?” Well… First things first. I’m not scared. I’m not afraid. I’m anxious. There’s a huge difference. I know the feeling of being scared and afraid. Most of us do. Think about the thing, whatever it is, you are most afraid of. Try to remember the feelings, both the physical and mental, that you go through that exact moment you get scared. Now multiply that by infinity. At least that’s the feelings I have when going through panic attacks and anxiety. Now, why don’t I just get my act together? I’m actually trying. I truly am trying! Depressions and other mental illnesses is not like tripping on the sidewalk and scraping your knee. You can’t just put a bandaid on the wound. It takes time. I know I will have to live with it forever, but with help I can learn to accept it and live a, more or less, “normal” life.
  5. Bipolar - A companion for life. I haven’t written anything the last couple of days. It’s not that I didn’t want to, but I’ve been pretty tired and also irritated. I lost our car key. The only one we had. That’s pretty annoying. I can also feel I’m not in my “hypo mode” anymore. That’s the sad part about bipolar type 2. The periods with mania don’t last a long time, and you don’t have as many as them as you’d like. Of course I would rather be in a regular state, but after Hypomania, I rarely switch to regular states. Depressing times are coming, so let’s hope they won’t last for long. Right now, I’m having anxiety. Trying to ride it out, but that second fear is a sneaky bitch. I’m having cold sweats, chest pains, and I feel I can’t breath air deep into my lungs. My mind is trying to tell me it’s a lung embolism. I know the odds of that is pretty low, but that’s the thing about anxiety. It’s hard to go with the flow and just relax through the attacks….
  6. Bipolar - A companion for life. One more day with loads of energy! I’ve had so much energy I even decided to cut my own hair! Something new needed to happen. I’ve been drawing, playing music, playing football. I’ve written several job applications and I even got to clean a bit. Oh, and I picked up my daughter earlier than usual. She needed a haircut as well. Even though I managed all this today, which is a whole lot for me, I still feel I could have done more. I took a one hour nap, as I didn’t sleep well last night. That one hour I could have used better, and that’s just annoying. I’ve also been doing some thinking. Yes, it’s not bragging. I’m actually able to sit down and reflect on the past, present and future. I can’t focus on one thing at a time, but the thoughts are just flying around, and it seems like I can “pick out” certain things. As I wrote yesterday, I have a hard time remembering stuff. (I remember what I wrote, as I read it again.) It got me thinking about the past. I actually can’t remember much about the first years of my life. I’m not talking about the first 3-4 years, as most people don’t remember those. I’m more or less talking about the first 10-15 years. It might even be more, now that I think about it. It’s not like it’s all a blackout. I remember some stuff, but not much in detail. The first 6-8 years on the other hand, I can’t really recall any memories from that period. A couple of things I do remember is, I spent most of my teenage years smoking weed. I was bored in school. I’ve never really had hard times at school. I think I actually felt I was smarter than most of the teachers. I wasn’t challenged enough. Exams wasn’t a big challenge either. I practically didn’t have to read up on subjects to make it through. I might have had good grades in every class, had I just pulled myself together. Oh, a quick note before I stop for today! It’s funny how some things I don’t forget. I don’t forget lyrics, I don’t forget how to move my fingers on my guitar, I don’t forget where every single screw in a phone needs to go when I repair it. Probably other things as well, but I can’t remember them now Gooooood night!
  7. Bipolar - A companion for life. Well, today has been a pretty good day. At least it seems like it. I’ve been very productive, and that’s good, but I’ve been so productive and energized that I know I’m going into a manic period. “Luckily” enough, I have what is called“Bipolar type 2”. What this means is, that I don’t get periods with full mania. I get episodes of “Hypomania”. I’m not going to describe it in details right now, but to make it short, I get more creative, productive and “aware”. You might think: “Well that sounds really good!” The thing is, it’s not all good. I also get distracted easy. (I just spend 30 minutes trying to find out if it was possible to align text with markdown, while writing this!) Furthermore I get irritated easier than usual. I also forget things a lot more. Even the things most important to me. Like my family. My girlfriend told me today, that I wasn’t paying attention to or playing with my daughter. It’s not because I don’t want to, but there’s just so much I “need” to do, and best if it’s at the same time. This also makes it a bit harder to write, as I constantly read everything again and again as I can’t remember half of what I’ve written. On the positive side! I’m actually a lot happier in these periods. I prefer to be in a regular state of mind, but Hypomania is definitely better than the depressions. I can’t really concentrate on this much more, so I will stop for today, and “focus” on something else.
  8. Bipolar - A companion for life. So, this is the first entry in the journey through my mind. I’m not sure what this will end up with, but maybe it will be able to help me, or maybe even you. Today I’m not going to write my whole life story. I’m just starting out with my day today. This day is the first day in a while, I haven’t had any panic attacks or anxiety. I’ve had some discomfort and felt dizzy at a point, but I’ve kept the “second fear” away. I woke up around 07:00 today. Monday’s I keep my daughter at home. This gives us the opportunity to get some father and daughter time. We had some breakfast and then went on to playing with LEGO. It wasn’t really until her bedtime I started to get a “tired mind” which usually means panic attacks or at least, a good deal of discomfort. She wanted to sleep, then play, then sleep, then play. It was like that for around two hours. Even for “normal” folks that can be hard to cope with. So, as I said before, I get a “tired mind” when I get frustrated or irritated. When I get to that point, my brain starts to play tricks on me. If I try not to worry, I worry more. I get scared. Not by anything in particular, but I get scared. The smallest pain in my chest, and my brain will tell me: “You’re having a heart attack.” Today I didn’t get to that point. For once I didn’t try to stop or fight my anxiety, I just rolled with it. SUCCESS!
  9. This post just makes so much sense, and at the same time this way is scaring the hell out of me! (Pardon my French). I will definitely read up more about this approach and Dr. Claire Weekes. I know it will take more time than I want it to do, and I know it will be hard, but I'm sure I will, with the help and support from family, friends and you guys, succeed in letting my fears go. I've been reading a lot on the forum already, and I really feel "at home". I am going to share this site with a friend of mine. She could definitely use the same support and knowledge this forum brings. Thank you all! Best regards
  10. Thank you guys! It was more or less random that I ended up on this forum. I was adviced by my new doctor to try a different approach than just the meds, as I have never really shared with, or spoken to anyone who can relate to what I'm daily struggling with. I decided I would try an English speaking forum, as I feel I express myself better in English than Danish. (Even though I might have some spelling and grammar mistakes here and there). I don't expect to be "cured", but I have a hope that some of the the stress and pressure will be lifted from my shoulders. I think I saw something about a blog? Is there a personal blog associated to your personal profile, or are people writing blogs on other sites and just sharing them in here or how does it work? Best regards.
  11. Hello Bella. Welcome! I'm new here myself. (Just joined today). I definitely know how you feel. I've dealt with all you're describing. I'm also having a hard time getting a new job at the moment, and the lack of social life that work does give, just brings a person more down. That's my personal experience anyway. What I've done to just help it a little bit is to exercise. I started out running a bit. Only 10-15 minutes a day. It really clears my thoughts. Eventually it got better, and now I'm socializing when playing football (soccer) three times a week. I still deal with daily depressions, anxiety, panic attacks and thoughts circulating only around dying, but exercising helps. I am also a creative person and I feel joy in writing, playing music, drawing and painting. Maybe you're also creative? Best regards Franck
  12. Hello everyone! I'm not sure how this really works. (By this I don't mean a forum, but sharing). It's not something I do much. Well, describing me and my situation in a few lines is pretty hard, as there is much more to my life and experiences than a few lines, but I'll try to give it a go. My name is Franck, I'm 28 years old, I live in Arhus Denmark. I live with my girlfriend and together we have a beautiful daughter. I'm not bipolar. I live with it. I'm much more than the diagnosis, though it does take up a lot of my time. If anyone should be interested, I would love to share my thoughts, experiences, and support, as much as I'm able to. Best regards. Franck