KMilner71

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About KMilner71

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  1. Hi DQQD, It sounds like GAD and I have the same issues. I have to have all the books in a series, they have to be on the book case in order by author and all the books by that author have to be in order of release date. When I put the groceries away all the green beans have to be together and all the labels have to be point forward, same with all the other vegtables. The boxes have to be in order by height, largest to smallest, etc. Everything has to be in a certain place and if it is removed it has to be returned to the exact same place. Even my shampoo and conditioner have to have the labels facing outward. As with you nothing can be empty and I CANNOT tolerate things to be messy disorderley,even my silverware has to be put away a certain way in the draw and after all that my Pdoc did not diagnose me with OCD.
  2. I read something once and it has stayed with me and when things seem to be endlessly difficulty I remember what I read, " Anxiety is not a weakness, anxiety comes from trying to be strong for to long." Don't loose faith, you can get better and lead a normal life.
  3. Hi JM, There is nothing wrong with your heart, you are a healthy young woman. It is your anxiety sweetheart, nothing more.You have to convience yourself that it is your anxiety just as you have convienced yourself that it is your heart, change the thought. When the thought pops into your head, tell yourself it is not my heart it is my anxiety messing with me. Once you get through the trip you will see that you are just fine.
  4. Hi Gossy, Since you have seen a Dr. for these symptoms and all seems to be ok, I would say it is symptoms of anxiety, and you are not being ridiculous, your are simply concerned and anxious about your health right now. You said that you have been dealing with a lot of stress lately and that will trigger anxiety attacks. Some of the symptoms of anxiety/panic are headaches, dizziness, tingling in the extremeties, trembling, muscle tension, and numerous others. I tend to get the headaches, dizziness, lightheadedness, trembling, racing heart, feeling sick to my stomach, and muscle weakness. If you have not had the CT scan yet, go ahead and have it done just to ease your mind about it. Once it comes back with no sign of tumors your anxiety will settle down a little on that issue. If your headaches are mild in nature, try some light stretches for your neck, back, and shoulders as the headaches are most likely due to tension. The eye twitchng could be due to tension as well. Anxiety can and will manifest itself physically in numerous and sometimes frightenig ways. Be careful about googline your symptoms, it is usually not a good idea for people with anxiety problems as we seem to be able to see ourselves in all the symptoms that come up, which only adds fear and increases the level of anxiety. The one thing that would be a good idea to google is the symptoms of anxiety/panic, once you are aware of all the ways that anxiety/panic can show up as physical symptoms I think you will feel a little better. Hope this helps to put you at ease at least a little
  5. I have been reading Claire Weeks book and I am to the part about "floating". I have read the part about acceptance, not putting up with or dealing with but accepting, I think that before people with severe anxiety/panic can just accept and let go they have to be at the point that they are mentally and emotionally so tired of trying to fight for normalcy that they just finally give in and accept. I do not think that one can force acceptance of anything as long as they have the need to fight. I am at that point, I am so tired of the minute to minute, day to day struggle to act normal that I am mentally and emotionally exhausted. I am ready to just let the caged animal loose and let it run free, if I pass out in the floor, so what, if I run around like a nut case for an hour or so again, so what. Just go with it. When the animal gets tired it will crawl back in its cage and go to sleep. The more freedom I give it the less it will bother me to get out. When most people go to bed at night they do not fall asleep wondering if tomorrow is going to be a good day or a bad day, I suspect they don't give it any thought at all. The last five days have been very difficult for some reason. My anxiety is off the charts all day long! I am tired of fighting something that I cannot even see to fight, I think that I am at the point of acceptance now.
  6. Hi Tall, Welcome! I too have recently been diagnosed with GAD/Panic disorder after suffering from the attacks and symptoms for almost two years now.
  7. I have been alternating between xanax and kolonopin for over a year now. My GP told me that the downside to benzos is that they are one of a few medicines that actually work to treat the symptoms of anxiety which is where the potential for addiction coms in. My Pdoc told me that if I stay on them another 3 years than I will not be able to come off of them. She said it will not be her choice or my choice, it will be my bodies choice. They do help me in that I can go to work and some what function daily but I am trying different things to help me learn to cope with and manage my anxiety.I bought the book by Claire Weeks, "Hope and Help for your Nerves", so far it makes a lot of sense. I also bought a book called " At last a life" which also deals with coping and managing anxiety. I will post an update when I have finished reading both.I have also read that meditation helps as it activates your bodies natural relaxtion mode. I am finding in my research that essentially to over come anxiety you have to retrain your brain. It is stuck in a continous loop of negative thoughts and fear, so the key is retrian it to break that loop where you are able to see things in a postive way and see situations in a more realistic light. I hope that everyone that is struggling with this illness can find something that works for them so that they can feel good again.
  8. Hi Just me, It sounds like you really need to stay away from anything health related right now. Just delete the post or ignore the article whatever it is. You are going to run yourself ragged worrying about each thing you read or see. I have been to every specialist from nose to toes because I was just like you. I was terrified that I had everything that I read about or each article that I saw, even watching the news, if they mention something about a new health story I would freak out over it if it was anything negative. It really is just your anxiety and your anxiety is focused totally on your health. I spent countless numbers of days missing work and numerous amounts of money for Dr. visits, I even went so far as to suffer through 8 weeks of blood testing to check my hormone levels only to come to the realization that it really is just my anxiety messing with me. If you look up the symptoms for anxiety/panic you will likely find that your symptoms match the list. Hope this helps at least a little.
  9. Hi James, As a fellow anxiety suffer and one whose anxiety focuses on my health, I will give you a bit of advice: Stay away from Google, the worst thing that people like you and I can do is search every little bump, bruise, tingle, or sore throat. If you Google it you will find a million different diseases and will likely end up experiencing most of the symptoms, it is just how our anxiety works. The best place to start to ease your mind about your health is to make an appointment with your GP and have a complete physical. Once all the blood work and exams come back normal, it will calm your worries at least a little. With anxiety, especially when we focus on our health it is so easy to forget that what we are feeling is only our bodies physical reaction to a chemical signal from our hypersensitive nervous system. It has been two years since my first panic attack and I have read and researched almost every thing that I could get my hands on about anxiety/panic symptoms and it helps to look at those lists and say "Yup" that is what I have. Once I finally accepted that the physical things that I was feeling, the racing heart, the dizziness, light headedness, burning in my stomach, etc. the list goes on and on, were just the physical manifestations of my anxiety I was able to calm down a bit. Don't get me wrong, I still have to fight the urge at times not to go way out in left field if I see a new spot on my arm that I do not remember being there before, but I just have to take a moment to breath, relax, and try to calm down. I tell myself that I will just keep an eye on it to see if anything changes but I try not become obsessed over it, and in time I either forget about it or I realize that nothing is changing so I just let it go. Hope this helps you feel a little better. Although I am not a Dr. I don't think that you are dying, just scared and lost like a lot of us when new to the symptoms of anxiety .
  10. Hi Kenneth, I too am new to the site. Have you been suffering from anxiety/panic for long?
  11. Hi James, Part of my anxiety is focusing on my health too. Every time I see a spot on my arm I never noticed before, I think c****r. Numbeness in one of my arms and I think stroke. etc. These things are truly part of my anxiety, I have been to my GP for a complete physical, a Cardioloigst because I feared the racing heart was a sign there was something wrong with my heart. I have seen an Ear Nose and Throat Dr. because I would feel like there was something stuck in my throat. Everyone of these issues were addressed and tested and all came back perfectly normal. I have also been to an Endocronologist for hormone testing so I have been through all the health worries and have come to understand after the numerous Dr. and Specialists visits that it is truly all related to my anxiety. I tried therapy once and it did not work out, as the therapist was more interested in pushing their opinions on me, instead of listening to what I was trying to tell them that I was going through. I finally found a good PDoc. who listens to me and works with me when I tell her that I am afraid to take certain medicines because I made the mistake of googling all of them and the side effects so now I fear them and I no longer goole my symptons or any medicines. I also stay away from reading negative medical literature as it increases my health related anxiety. I know what a struggle it is. I struggle to hold it together every day so that I can just make it through work and go home, but the one thing that I do try to do is to tell myself that my thoughts can not control me unless I let them. Managing anxiety is about breaking that negative feedback loop that contiously replays over and over again in your mind. I have just recently started keeping a jornal of all my thoughts, I write them down throughout the day and review them at night and I did not realize how almost every thought that I had was a negative thought in some form or fashion. So now when I catch a negative thought creeping in, I mutate the thought into a positive or realistic one. For example, I don't like to go out alone for fear of passing out so I ask myself "what is the worst thing that could happen if I really did pass out?" The answer is, I would pass out and wake back up within a few moments. It would not bring the world as we know it to an end. I honestly have to say as truly terrifying as the anxiety or panic attacks have been nothing bad has ever really happened as a result of one other than I feel exhausted after each one. When I feel myself getting anxious and you can usually tell when one is ramping up to hit, I yell at my brain that there is nothing wrong with me other than my internal danger alarms are going off when there is no danger at all near at hand.That it is all a chemical signal that my brain is sending out by mistake and my body is reacting to the false alarm. I know it may sound silly, but I tell myself there is no danger, so turn off the alarms, clear the brain channels of unneccesary chemicals and calm down. I have been told about the deep breating and the focusing and the visualization,but as you stated, that is easier said than done when you are in the middle of what feels like your brain is screaming at you to run and your feet really want to answer that signal. Sometimes practicing these things when are not having an attack can help you be more able to focus some when you are having one. Therapist are like medicines,you have to find the one that works with you and fits your needs. My pdoc told me that the medicines will not cure the anxiety they are just a bandaid to stop the bleeding so to speak while the therapy is what will heal. But the work has to come from within you as well, you have to make an effort daily to monitor your thoughts and change them from negative to positive or at least a realistic version of the situation. When I get stressed or upset over something, I ask myself "is this something that I can control or change?" If the answer is no, then I try not to waste any more time dwelling on it (which most people with anxiety have a tendency to do). If the answer is yes, then I think of what steps I need to take in order to make that change. I hope some of this helps you in at least some small way.
  12. Hi Justme, When I had my first full blown panic attack two years ago my husband called the paramedics because we tought that I was having a heart attack. The first thing they did was check my heart rate and it was 100 bpm. They told me that it was probably anxiety and that they would take me to the hosptial if I wanted them to but that they were just going to walk me into the waiting room where I would have to wait to see the Dr. This was at like 9:00p.m. and I had been lying down going to sleep when the attack hit. The paramedic said that some people have a naturally high heart rate. As with alot of people with anxiety it sounds like you focus on your health, I also focus a ALOT on my health. I have found a few things over the years of trying to get my anxiety under control. 1.Do not google your symptoms or medications, it increases your anxiety. I speak from experience, I cannot take medications other than xanax or klonopin because I spent to much time researching them and the side effects, so now it is something else that feeds my anxiety instead of being a tool that I can use to help control it. If you just have to do it, than try to remember that anyone can put something out on the internet so take what you do find with a grain of salt don't take it as truth just because it is out on the internet. 2. It sounds like at this point in time, your heart is your main worry, the one sure way to ease your own mind and calm your anxiety to a more managable level is go see a Dr. and get the reassurance you need. See a Cardiologist and tell him/her of your concerns. 3.See your GP and have a complete physical. I see mine yearly and he does chest x-rays, blood work, and bone density testing. This will help you feel more comfortable about your overall health. After seeing all kinds of specialists and Dr after Dr. I am now able to understand and accept that my symptoms are related to and caused by my anxiety. There are SO MANY different physical symptoms that are associated with anxiety that everyone has a variety of symptoms they can and do experience. If you have not already done so, research anxiety and panic and learn all that you can about your illness the saying "knowledge is power" is true. The more you know and understand about your anxiety the easier it will become in time to stop worrying excessively over your health.
  13. Hi Duo, I get that alot. I try to take a deep breath and it feels like little of nothing gets in. Try breathing from your stomach and not your chest. Take a deep breath through your nose that expands your stomach and not just your chest. It is probably just a sysmptom of anxiety, usually when this happens to me it is accompained by a severly tight chest and can last all day long. I have found that alot of us that suffer with anxiety/panic are shallow breathers without even being aware that we are doing it. Changing the way that I breath allows me to take that deep breath that my body seems to be needing.
  14. I have the same symptoms, racing heart, high heart rate, tight chest, feels like I cannot take a deep breath, and so many more. I became so worried that I went to a cardiologist and he ordered an echocardiogram and a heart monitor for a month. The echocardigram came back just fine no issues with the hearts structure and it is pumping just fine. The heart monitor showed an early beat but the cardiolgist said that was not serious. For me it is just my anxiety, but seeing the cardiologist helped me to accept that there is nothing physically wrong with my heart and it is just part of the physical symptoms of my anxiety. I was terrified that I was going to have a heart attack. Unfortunately, anxiety is mental but it has so many physical symptoms that one becomes overwhelmed and afraid of all the physical changes. Once you have seen a Dr. for a full check up and are declared physically heathy, you can feel pretty sure that most, if not all of your symptoms are just your anxiety.
  15. Good morning, I am newly diagnosed with GAD with Panic, although I have been suffering from the symptoms and attacks for almost two years now. I joined this forum so that I have people to talk to that understand the feelings and emotions that are beating at me every moment of the day and night. I look forward to sharing support, thoughts, and ideas with alll of you.