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About Gogoatgo

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  1. Yeah, I remember the earlier seasons being more of a monster-a-day type deal, when they finally started kicking more into plot-related stuff about where I stopped, maybe earlier. I still enjoyed it though, I think the reason I stopped after a while was I became so busy! Maybe I can find some more extra time now. My favorite episode is probably one a lot of people love, the one where they're stuck in a bunch of TV programs? It was pretty hilarious! I think that's the first episode I ever saw too, or at least it introduced me into the series. (I stayed up one night before I'd ever even heard of Supernatural, and that episode was on.) Though I appreciate the more intense episodes too!
  2. Hi Morgan! I actually haven't seen some of the latest seasons, (I think I stopped at Five,) but I remember enjoying it very much! Maybe I should start back up again! I have a few more friends who watch it now too, though they're caught up with it. I also love all the mythology and stuff the show gets into, it's really great to see how they interpret different monsters and stuff!
  3. Thank you all for replying! Gilly, I think I totally understand you about not enjoying things, or not allowing yourself to. But I also think, lately, I've learned to appreciate the small, enjoyable things? During my last bout of anxiety, before this one, I can remember gradually starting to enjoy myself again on an everyday basis, and so I did get a nice break between then and this fall when it started up again. I'm confident the same thing can happen again, if I allow myself to "go with the flow," like you said! Joy, I also understand what you're saying about the comfort zone. I think I was lucky- when my anxiety started, the first thing my mom told me was to try to break out of that comfort zone. I think that's the most helpful advice I've ever gotten. I don't think I'm as afraid anymore of going out to events and stuff as I used to be! And Always, that feeling's exactly what I tend to feel like at my worst. But sometimes, when I do start enjoying things, I actually feel that touch of normalcy again, which is always appreciated. (It's usually late at night when I'm watching my favorite videos, or when I've actually spent a good day out socializing!) Anyway, happy to hear from you all! Maybe this will pass soon or maybe it won't, but I think I can at least live around it/deal with it in the mean time.
  4. Hi, I'm back! It's right about the end of winter vacation, which really has helped with my anxiety. Sometimes it's still a bit hard, but I don't feel terrified so often anymore, and I haven't felt as much of a need to a) constantly google/check up on the things that have been making me anxious and b) checking up on this site. However, I still do have a bit of a low feeling, and tonight I was reading a blog that made me think of something: currently, I still feel like I'm just "waiting" to feel happy again. I'm sort of "floating" above my anxiety, but I still feel like I'm not "enjoying" life as much as I could be. And in the blog I was reading, the blogger mentioned feeling the same way for the past FIVE years! having moments of happiness within depression/anxiety, but not feeling truly happy. Anyway, I think the perfect way to describe how I, and I assume this blogger, are feeling right now is "existing and not living." When I do have these small bouts of happiness, everything seems right in the world, even the stuff that would normally send me into a breakdown seem more realistically insignificant. And I can find stuff enjoyable again. These bouts have been happening a bit more often, (mostly when I'm able to get out of the house and do things.) But overall I still feel like I'm in this continuous "down in the dumps" state that I've been in a few months now. Anyway, I've read about people going through this kind of thing for years and coming out of it, but I'd like to hear from some of you guys too. Are any of you at a period where you actually feel like you're loving life? Maybe you have anxiety attacks from time to time, but over all you're happy with where you are and how far you come? Thank you for your time!
  5. Thanks everyone! Your advice does give me some hope: Someone on another forum once told me that in their experience, for most people who actively try to learn to manage their anxiety, it gets more or less better rather than worse as they grow up. As for Gilly's advice, I certainly hope I can be able to do that, right now everything seems kind of overwhelming. I don't want my life to be as miserable as my anxiety keeps telling me it's going to be. This is ridiculous, too, because from an outside perspective my life seems pretty great. Currently it just seems everything is crashing around me, and it is all doom and gloom.
  6. Thank you, though I still can't say I've even fully adjusted to the change of going to school yet. I'm feeling better, especially when hanging out with friends, but I don't think I've had a full week without anxiety before october, or maybe even sometime before I left for school. Here's hoping next semester will be better!
  7. So I just finished my first semester of college, and in general I think my anxiety is less acute than it was in the beginning of it, though it's been more constant since this october. Since then it's been getting better I think, though I still have bad days. I just got home today, and yesterday packed up and moved out of the dorm, (we stayed at my grandmother's yesterday.) Since yesterday night I think I've had a bit of a relapse. I'm pretty sure the stress of getting packed and coming home had something to do with it, plus "my time of the month" also started yesterday. Anyway, I think going to college has triggered a lot of anxiety about growing up, changes, and life in general. And the past few days certainly haven't helped. My mom is stressed and having anxiety because her mom, my grandmother, is elderly and recently injured herself- the rest of the family is taken turns taking care of her, but because of a recent fight with one of her sisters my mom is expected to go take care of her sometime over the break. My dad also seems rather tired and stressed because of it too. I know we're just going through an emotionally hard time right now with me off at college and these complications with my grandmother but I'm just really scared that growing up will just leave me feeling depressed and anxious forever, or at least most of the time. And I have a pretty good feeling it's just my anxiety telling this, and it's only particularly bad right now because of this buildup of reasons. But I'd still love some reassurance that growing up isn't that bad, that it will all be worth it and it gets better....
  8. I've already posted once in the GAD forum, but I figured an introduction thread was in order as well! I'm Goat, 18 years old and a freshman in college. My anxiety/depression started about January this year, and I think most of it has been related to preparing and anticipating college and being away from my family. (We're pretty close!) Though I say depression, I think I'm mostly an "anxious" person, and I've heard that depression and anxiety are both symptoms of the same stress-related disorder. I've also read that anxiety is related to worrying about the future, and depression is related to ruminating on the past- and most, if not all, of my stressors are me worrying about what can happen! I've had a few specific fears in the past that I feel rather comfortable with now, like emetophobia and agoraphobia- I can say my fear towards these has lessened to the same point as they were before my first anxious episode. Currently I'm struggling with a lot of "big," universal thoughts. Though every time I think on them I come to the conclusion that they have no major effect on my life or the lives of others, and are pretty useless to think about. But it's still kind of hard to come back to earth! (I guess I'm just going through a sort of existential crisis, and am waiting and hoping that the fear will go away as it has before) Otherwise, I'd say I have a happy life and am grateful for having a mom who has experienced these things before and can usually reassure me, though now that I'm not living at home I need to look elsewhere for support I guess. So, thank you, AC, for being here, and you'll probably see more of me in the future!
  9. Thanks a bunch, Joy and Gilly! You know, despite all this anxiety stuff, I'm definitely enjoying school. As much as I love my family and will miss living at home, I have so much freedom here! I've talked to my mom too and she says she's been through it all and still has a happy life, so I'm glad I have her and friendly communities like AC to turn to when I need some reassurance. Anyway, I think I'll definitely be sticking around this forum when things get rough. Thanks again!
  10. Yeah, I've always been kind of nervous kid, though I've only paid much attention to it this year. My mom's the same way though, so she was able to help walk me through it and understand it. The social support thing is actually starting to get a bit better, mainly because I have been connecting at social events and with friends, like you said. Of course, it's still only a few months in, so these friends and I aren't nearly as close as my group was back home! And yeah, I'd say the transition was a big part to do with it. It's not so much that my original beliefs on those things have changed any, it's just that my anxiety has latched a lot of bad feelings onto those "what if" kind of questions! (What's going to happen in the future, etc.) Anyway, distraction sounds good to me, as this definitely feels more like an emotional problem than anything.
  11. Hello! I just created this account recently, I'm a freshman in College an am still in the process of getting over the initial separation/homesickness anxiety (I've been seeing a therapist at the school's health center for this, and am definitely feeling better than I once did) I've realized a few things about the roots of my anxiety and getting to the bottom of them. (I.E, homesickness and a lack of social support) Anyway, my post isn't so much about these core problems as it is something that I'm wondering whether or not is another cause, or a symptom of the anxiety, though I'm going to make a guess that it's the latter. Anyway, since this bout of anxiety I've been having a lot of deeper, abstract thoughts, such as existentialism and philosophy. I've asked myself things like whether life was "meaningful" and such. The weird thing is, these are all things that when I wasn't anxious, I could be fairly satisfied that I didn't have the answer to them or have a good enough answer. (Like, I'd resolved that the "meaning" of life was to live an enjoy it.) Anyway, now that I've gotten over this major hump I'm not as petrified of these thoughts as I was before, but they still give me minor anxious symptoms when I think of them. I've been trying I cope by telling myself that it's simply the "root" (that is, the "adapting to college") anxiety that is giving me such an emotional response to these thoughts. So I've been "putting them off" until I feel comfortable and adjusted again, so I may be able to brush them off and give them less power, like I could before. I'm sorry I this post is kind of long and jumbled, but the synopsis is: After coming to college some philosophical thoughts had started to get me down. These are thoughts I can remember having before anxiety that didn't have nearly as much of an emotional toll on me as they have recently. Now my anxiety is starting to lessen, but sometimes these thoughts are triggered and give me mild anxious twinges. The end question is, is this emotional response to these thoughts justified, or is it simply a symptom of the initial anxiety of coming to school? Lastly, how much attention should I be giving these thoughts, and will they (and my anxiety,) continue to lessen as I adjust? Thank you so much! -Goat