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VampireEyes

Ocd Relapse Hepatitis-C

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Hey guys, 

I have been doing really well for a year with my contamination ocd. Recently,  I have been having more fears and compulsions. It got really bad when I brought my guitar in for the class I tutor. I let them all strum the strings and one kid was like "look" and showed me his thumb was bleeding. I then assumed that blood was all over my guitar and then he ran his hand over the inside of the guitar case.  I was like, you have no idea what you have just done! So that was like May 24th and I read that Hepatitis-C can live on surfaces for like 6 weeks. I'm about to go on a tour and I'm freaking out about my bloody guitar. I Lysol-ed the crap out of it and wiped it with sanitizing wipes but I still am terrified. Any advice? I hate that it got so bad again. 

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Hi Vampire

Well, the chances of you getting Hepatitis from such a happening are as good as winning the Lottery, and you know those odds! Now I know it's alright for me to sit here and say that, but when you have your kind of OCD I can only imagine how difficult it is to overcome such fears. I would never minimise your fears, no way!

Have you ever heard of Howard Hughes? He was a multi billionaire but suffered from contamination OCD. He wore gloves all the time and went to extreme lengths to avoidant any sort of contamination. I think he died from a heart problem. His billions did nothing to help him. I relate that because he is a classic example of how health OCD can take over your life, if you let it. The fact is that the worry about it can do so much more harm than the imagined problem. I say 'imagined' because it is just that. In your mind only. No bug 'out there' is going to do so much harm as the bug in your mind.

Any advice? I hate that it got so bad again. 

Of course you do, and it's probably come about because you may be overtired or have some stress in your life. These sort of feelings tend to lurk in the shadows and emerge when we get uptight over something. You will be fine. Go on teaching and concentrate on that only, not the imaginary bugs.         Jon.

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Thanks Jon! I should stop reading things in the Internet except stuff like this! The 6 week Hep life cycle thing threw me and now I'm dreading going on tour with my guitar, the tour probably started my intense anxiety in the first place. I'm also going to grad school in the fall. Perfect storm ofstress then I go looking for trouble on health websites. I just wanna be strong but I know my mind will be screaming. I guess I just have to do it!

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I just wanna be strong but I know my mind will be screaming. I guess I just have to do it!

Then let it scream. Let it do what it likes BUT you don't have to go with it. Actually it's not you screaming it's anxiety. Oh yes, he comes in many guises. He can make you think it's you who has the problem when it's him. AND NO!!! Keep well away from websites related to Dr. Google, well away. You will pick up so much useless info you will become more confused than ever.

When you feel bad or get anxious say to yourself and HIM, "Oh yes, here again, what other little surprises have you thought up today. Be gone, get out of my life, clear off". Say it often enough and loud enough and he will go. He does not like to be ridiculed. Actually anxiety is a coward, a pathetic little creature, which, when faced head on turns and runs. You will see. I say all this because I want you to extenalise your fears not internalise them.  Internalising them allows them to remain hidden where they can cause problems. Externalising them brings them out into the open where they can be dealt with.                     Jon.

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