Komori_Miharu 0 Posted March 22, 2015 So I'm new here, this is my first post on any anxiety forum, I've tried joining a few before but never stuck with it after a few days. I just turned 20 about two months ago in January, and lately I've been feeling really depressed, thinking about I wish I was dead though I haven't actually made any attempts on my life. I have been agoraphobic for, I'd say about 10 years but have only been housebound for about six. It started after an incident where I nearly died. Anyway, it started with a fear of highways, and for years I struggled to go on them but I did, my doctor's office and therapist at the time were out of town, however slowly but surely, I lost the ability to "face" the highway, and started existing in town, I started visiting a therapist here but eventually she moved out of town and I couldn't bring myself to follow her though now I wish I had tried. About six years ago there was a power outage during the night that lasted for hours and I have a fear of the dark and after going out to a birthday party, after asking my family to go home multiple times before it got dark, we ended up barely getting home before the sun set. So I lost trust and stopped going out entirely, then when I tried again, it was basically an impossibility. It's now been six years and I can't go much farther than my mailbox without anxiety, and if I go any further than a few houses in either direction past my home, I almost completely break down, it's made worse because I'm emetophobic and as many of you know, anxiety gives you a constant feeling of nausea, and so it's a vicious cycle. My fiance directed me to this website in hopes that talking to others in similar or have been through similar will help me through my recent depressions. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Komori_Miharu 0 Posted March 24, 2015 I was diagnosed about a year or so ago finally, but had been seeing therapists since I was about ten, I was just considered to have panic disorder/general anxiety then and for a while on and off I was doing ok but fell back in at sixteen and haven't really been out since then. My whole family and my fiance are all really supportive, I've just been trying to go back out in the car and doing small tints around the neighborhood, practicing how to cope with the anxiety like I did before. I have mediciation, I've been using ativan for the last four years and recently was prescribed Xanax to try and come off the Ativan, (Don't ask me why my doctor is trying to switch me from one benzo to another), But it's nice to know that I'm not alone Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Komori_Miharu 0 Posted March 29, 2015 It helps, definitely, the Ativan used to help alot though now I've gotten really used to it so it doesn't have much of an effect unless I double my dose, but I'm able to feel happy and everything. Xanax makes me unbelievably sleepy but it calms my thoughts and everything down too. Thanks for your support, and I'll consider sending you messages to talk more personally but thanks for the kind words, even if I do have support and everything in my real life, it's nice to hear it from someone who knows what I'm going through. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Komori_Miharu 0 Posted October 5, 2015 My fiance of seven years has finally moved in with me but he's done nothing to help my anxiety and has only made it worse and has added stress to what I was already going through, and I'm seriously feeling like I have no choice but suicuide. I'm not sure what to do.My body feels like it's been breaking down slowly but surely do to the constant stress and I always feel horrible, physically now and not just mentally like before. I can't tell him to leave because he came over from England, so it's not as simple as just telling him to go home. What can I do? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
