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shea7692

Incredibly Lonely

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Apologies again for not coming on here often.

With the pregnancy and all the grief I've had lately, I need my friends now more than ever, but nowadays, since splitting from my ex in June, I have nobody left.

I have online friends and spend all day talking to them 'cause they are so nice to me and can relate.

However, I have my fiance, who I am fine being around, but I cannot see friends without having panic attacks.

Even talking on the phone now gives me panic attacks!

I can't go out either because of the agoraphobia :( 

Truthfully, I know those heartless bullies have done this to me.

I've spent my whole life feeling inadequate and caring what people think about me and say about me; I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it.

Nobody has anything positive to say about me round here anymore; I'm literally the most hated person in my town, and probably neighboring towns now, too!

People seem to think I'm a "bully", "liar", "evil" etc. but I'm not...I just want to be liked and accepted. I tried too hard in the past to be liked and to fit in, but they wouldn't see the good in me.

I got so defensive over their negative comments and accusations because it just got to me so much and I know I did nothing wrong to them; people just piled on and piled on and listened to rumors, and now this.

I hate people, yet I still want friends and people to realize I AM good.

I'm so alone nowadays and scared...I feel like I have no one anymore.

Literally alone.

 

 

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I'm sorry shea ((HUGS)) You have a future, a baby and loving fiance, all these things will give you strength and you will move on, those bullies and gossipers have nothing better to do with their lives, pathetic. You will make new friends again.

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I hope so, but am terrified of meeting new people; they all turn out the same.

They all leave and turn into nasties...

 

Thank you xx

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There are a few good ones tho shea, when you find them they stick, sometimes they don't come along too often tho.

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