I have severe cancerophobia and phobia of other diseases for the last 20 years, on and off. Last few years I didn't have so many problems that I had in the past, but now I am scared to death again.
I am now 51 and this means that I also don't have youth in my favor, for most of the cancers incidence goes up after 50...
Anyway, on to my story. End of october my heck began to hurt me. I was there before, because I work on the computer and I have forward neck posture and I sleep on my stomach which I heard is not good bot the neck. I've had neck pain and stiffness radiating to the shoulder a few times, they can be severe so I can hardly turn my neck in one direction.
This time it was different. My whole neck feels stiff and in 1 month I developed more neck pain, so I have hard time sleeping on either side or the back. Worst is when I look right and down, then there is a spot beween my shoulders and neck that is the center of the pain and neck itself is also stiff (like doing chin tucks the middle of the neck is painfully stiff).
When things aren't the same as they used to be, I get scared. At the same time I had some stomach pain, nothing much, and 1 week later colon problems (I had this in 2005 for months), like 5 times a day going to toilet, mucus in stool, flatulence... no blood... I also started to have more prominent twitching again (in 2010 I got so severe twitching I thought I had ALS), below left shoulder it twitched for 14 days non stop. You can imagine how I felt.
I got scared I have neck cancer. I went to x-ray of the neck, to ortopedics doctor and he told there is some degenerative problem, but nothing that would explain so severe neck pain symptoms for 2 months.
This was 1 month ago, since then my neck is the same, sometimes better sometimes worse, but not withought pain at least in the middle of the neck and between left shoulder blade and neck. Right should is in pain for 6 months now, but this doesn't scare me, although x-ray of the shoulder shown NOTHING. I had this before years back and even ultrasound of the shoulder showed nothing...
Anyway, about a month ago I got this hoarse voice and I was diagnosed with LFR reflux in 2013 but then I thought that I may have laryngeal cancer and that is why my neck hurts. Doctors couldn't tell me that the neck stiffness in not from the throat.
To make matters worse, I discovered I get small particles of food often to be going into windpipe, one day about 7 days ago when sipping tea I got tea in the lungs for 3 times in a row. And when eating peanuts and nuts and cakes, the small particles seem to stay in my throat and I have to clear throat all the time (post nasal drip and throat clearing is something I have since 2013) to get rid of them, they hurt me on the way down often.
Than 4 days ago I seem to have some sort of dysphagia. I feel like the food AND drink goes down in a wierd way, immediately after drinking something I have to burp a little to get the air out, my stomach has all this noises... I googled and found esophageal cancer and I didn't even know this type is so deadly 😞
Since then yesterday I found out that I can not stopped thinking about how I swallow, and I don't swallow OK, it feels like there is a lump when I swallow even salvia and that the motility in esophagus and stomach. Immediately after one sip I feel how the water has hard time going down the throat and like the lower muscle would not let the water out and it comes to stomach and I have burping and gas immediately... And then pain in the chest like with GERD. Problem is I take omeprazole for 7 days and antiacids and my diet is not anti acidic, but things get only worse.
And I am thinking, that this must be esophageal canncer, what else could it be 😞 It is like I have a lump in esophagus with pain on swallow around there and upper stomach.
I don't know what to do, I even can not make my will now as everything is closed for the holiday and corona in my country is really really bad, we have the most deaths in Europe on the 100.000 people 😞
Can you have motility problem and some sort of spasms in esophagus and stomach without cancer? Few years ago I drank a little too much (not that I was a drunk or anything and never smoked) and maybe this is now the pay for the wine glasses I had 😞
I feel miserable with this stomach and esophagus pain and nothing helps it just goes worse. The voice is ok now and the bad tongue feeling I had some weeks ago also, but this is getting worse.
I google and I can not find the link between cancer and stiff neck pain though. And with cancer they said first you have hard time swallowing solids and gradually you have problem with liquids. Makes sense. But I got problems with solids and liquids the SAME time during a period of 5 days from 0 to 100%.
I really feel in a doom place right now. And it is Christmas eve tonight...
I guess I just needed to write it out... No need to answer, I undeerstand nobody knows what I have and I can not have gastroscopy right now because of the holidays, it would take 1 months and if this is stage IV cancer (with such severe problems can not be stage I), that I am dead already. I never had such problems with swallowing, I did have with the burning in stomach and after 6 months in 20055 of pain I went to endoscopy (terrible for me) and they found nothing at all wrong and I rolled on my bed night before in pain. But that was 15 years ago. Since then a cancer could clearly had enough time to grow... And I didn't have painfull swallowing with lump in my throat...