IAmNoOne

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About IAmNoOne

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  1. Hi, I feel incredibly arrogant for writing so much about myself, and I’m sorry if this is too much. For myself, writing often helps me to sort my thoughts, but for others, I might waste time by posting this. Sorry if I do. I’m 21 years old and from Germany. I have been diagnosed with anxiety in April or May 2018 (doesn’t mean I didn’t have it before), but I haven’t made much progress yet. I was hoping that maybe this site would help me to talk to people who also have anxiety, since I don’t think I really met anyone with anxiety yet in real life. I’m studying abroad in the US, and we have a free counseling center on campus, otherwise I probably wouldn’t have even had the diagnose of anxiety. I also only went there because my boyfriend encouraged me to go there, since he saw that I was suffering. I was afraid that anyone would find out and that I would get kicked off of school, which I saw and still see as more important than mental issues. I went to counseling during semesters since I was diagnosed. I learned about some relaxation and distraction techniques, but they don’t work too well. I also learned about mindfulness and facing the facts, but I refuse to believe the facts, so that isn’t working too well either. Meditation definitely doesn’t work for me. And I didn’t want to do medication because I was afraid it would impact me at school and my on-campus job, but now I’m not so sure if it was the right choice. I was mainly diagnosed with social anxiety, but for a while, I had some generalized anxiety too, especially after a friend of mine committed s****de. Since then, I have kinda doubted that I even deserve to be happy, and then, what’s the point in even conquering anxiety? I still don’t think I deserve to be happy, but that thinking won’t help me solve my anxiety issues. I closed myself off so much that I don’t really feel like I can even trust anyone any more, and I feel like people treat me like a raw egg because I am way too sensitive and don't take criticism too well. I don’t want that any more. I’m looking forward to seeing what this site is about:)