honibee76

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About honibee76

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  1. I refer to my anxiety/OCD like my inner child since I am certain I have been dealing with both since early childhood. I've been reading and researching since my diagnosis in February. it sounds crazy but sometimes I comfort my inner child addressing reassuring everything is going to be okay. I find when I know a trigger is coming (social event, project at work, traveling, flying, or visiting friends) if I have this conversation addressing the trigger as I would have spoken to my own child. I tend to work through it. I find this only helpful if I have time to process the activity/situation. It does little to nothing without advance warning such as change in plans or an unexpected stressful situation.
  2. I know I need to seek therapy treatment for my Anxiety/OCD/Perfectionism. I avoid being venerable at all costs. I have scheduled and canceled therapy appointments after my initial assessment (going on since March 2018). I just can't seem to muster up the courage, as the psychiatrist (who assessed me ) informed me that it will get harder before it gets better. Those words are stuck in my head and the fear is the driving force to my avoidance. She also informed me most people like me don't seek help/treatment until late 30s early 40s ( and I fit right in that range) I have done hours upon hours of research trying to determine the best course of action/treatment. When I say research I mean validated studies it takes some digging. So I am out of excuses. I am very nervous about treatment I am worried the therapist will not be qualified in Childhood trauma post traumatic syndrome along with a side of OCD (most likely developed as a coping mechanism, my OCD can be more difficult to treat as my compulsion are in my mind hidden out of sight) I now have the information I need to begin treatment. From the research I have gathered I have to change my entire life. Yep the word CHANGE. I am scared of change and do not know where to begin. After all my research this is what I have learned. its sad after everything I went through as a kiddo, I am more fearful of therapy. If you were to ask me if I would rather relive my childhood or go to therapy I would relive my childhood. At least I would know what to expect. I had a very intense panic/flash back/memory how ever you want to label it. The wave of emotions I went through was beyond difficult I imagine therapy will be similar. Denial, procrastination and avoidance my vices. * Individual Therapy - 18months to 2 years * taking prescribe medication consistently * Group therapy - ongoing/as needed *change diet (coffee and Sugar increase symptoms) Remember to eat 3 times per day (even though 90% of the time food doesn't sound/taste good) *Yoga/meditation *writing/journaling So I know what to do, I just feel like I am the only person struggling with actually starting treatment. Everyone makes it sound so simple schedule your appointment go. If only one of those people could be in my head for 2 minutes to think what I think and feel what I feel, I doubt they would think it was that easy or try to down play the fear. I need to find away to schedule and actually attend my therapy appointment. and I really want to go to that yoga class down the street, but try telling that to my anxiety/ocd I have the desire to find some remission/cure/coping skills so I can be free to enjoy life again but I am stuck in fear.