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About zephkitty

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  1. Hi all, I've had a history since college of unrefreshing sleep. I've seen tons of therapists, docs, tried lots of meds, meditation (still trying...), etc., and I know that it is a manifestation of my general anxiety disorder--that I believe I've had since birth. Anyway, I've never been *totally* ok or relaxed sleeping with someone (i.e. boyfriend), but I used to do it, and even do it well, on many nights. Here's my problem (one of them): About ten years ago (!) I gained what I believe is a 'new' disorder, but of course connected to all of it: Anytime the bed moves, due to partner rolling over, twitching, etc., I wake up. I can go to bed perfectly relaxed and calm and snuggly, and fall asleep well, but BAM--any movement awakens me, and continues through night, and I awaken feeling utterly exhausted, and need to go back to sleep again, soon, for big nap. And just in case you think it's 'not feeling safe', or something like that, if my CAT moves around a little, or sleeps in a certain area that I 'feel' too much on the bed, I'll continually wake up throughout the night. It's incredibly frustrating, and makes me sad. I've stopped trying to share a bed, and spend time in same bed at beginning, but always end up in another room, or a mattress on the floor. ;) I miss the connection and 'safety' that sleeping together brings to me and my boyfriend, but...I need to sleep! I've googled this extensively, and found people who can't share bed due to snoring, hogging, temperature, etc., but never the little, tiny movements! And yes, I have probably the LEAST motion-y bed on the planet, but there are still going to be little movements, and they wake my butt up, ALL night long. I've also shared a bed with several boyfriends over the past ten years, all different kinds of sleepers (mostly relatively still) and I've had same issue. Anyone experience this? Any ideas? I feel like it's a reaction deep in my brain stem, or something...something I'm not cerebrally aware of. Incidentally, I became unable to go on a boat for even short periods close to when this started, as I feel 'landsick' after being on a boat with small movement. But not sure any of that is related. But maybe my brain cannot handle not being in perfect control of a situation?? Or needs to be cocooned in sleep, and away from any stimuli? Thanks everyone! Just another thing that just makes me feel more freakish than ever...;)