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About brittwentz

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  1. Hello, i'm new to the forum so i hope i'm posting in the right place. If not i apologize. I don't know at what point i became so awkward. When i was a kid i used to be very extroverted, but bullying through elementary school plus a very embarrassing puberty has turned me into this shy, awkward individual who just can't communicate. It takes me great effort to answer to people when they try to strike conversations with me. With close friends and family i have no problem and am actually very loud and energetic, but whenever i meet someone new i transform completely. I often feel as if i lost a crucial part of 'socializing 101' as i need to see how other people react to certain interactions in order to learn how to act. For example, someone starts talking to me about a topic i don't really relate to and can't add much to, but i don't want to seem rude or want to try and bond with this person, so i find myself remembering what my mom does whenever she's in a similar situation, or even what my best friend would do. I just began college a month and a half ago and it's been difficult to bond with people, as i live 30 mins away from campus and go by car every day while most stay in the same area so they make plans and meet up to study. I only have total of 4 hours of class each day, so that doesn't help either. I don't mind living so far removed because it means i can be with my family, but i'd like to make the most out of these 4 hours and i feel my social worries are getting in the way. For the past two years i've suspected i might suffer from chronic general anxiety, and it's only getting worse. I had to move across the globe last year, and i basically have no friends here. And all the people i've met so far i just can't bring myself to trust. I'm coming from an environment i knew i could trust everyone, i'm talking about high school at a small catholic all girls school, to this new big place where there's not only all types of people but also individuals with an entire different culture to mine and a different set of values. I'm beginning to get paranoid about the situation and am thinking the only girl who has tried to befriend me so far is actually a bit manipulative. She might be very self-imposing, but i think it's too soon to jump to such conclusions... Anyways, sorry for the long post, but i needed to let that out. Has anyone gone through something similar that could give me tips? What can i change about my way of socializing so i can be less awkward and start acting like a normal adult? Thanks.