My name is Jordan. I am a 21 year old college student and I am experiencing health anxiety worse than ever before. (Feels weird saying it out loud) I have always suffered from health anxiety, since I could possibly remember, but I have been able to keep it to a minimum until recently. I blame the anxiety spike on my major, I am a Junior NURSING student pursuing my BSN. This being said, I am becoming more familiar with death and disease, along with all the symptoms that come along with it.
It started about a year ago when I noticed my hair was coming out a little more than usual, no naturally, I googled it. There were many minor things that came up but of course I got situated on the worst, LUPUS!! It consumed me. I would count the hair that came out throughout the day, in the shower, I was going crazy. It has since gone away, most likely it was stress caused by the college life as I am very involved on campus and grades are very important to me, not to mention I am VERY prone to stress. Currently, I am freaking out about Lymphoma, or melanoma. My lymph nodes seem to be a little swollen on my left side. Ever since I discovered that they are swollen, (which idk if they actually are or if im crazy) I cant stop. I feel them ALL DAY!! I feel my neck, my groin, my underarms, anywhere that lymph nodes are commonly swollen. I AM OBSESSED!! My grandmother is such a hypochondriac that it has her basically house bound, my family as well as myself is terrified that I will end up the same way! That being said, I do not share just how bad my anxiety is in fear that I will worry my family sick. I have an extremely hard time talking about it. Some of my sorority sisters know I am a hypochondriac, but I always joke about it with them so they do not know how bad it really is. I am terrified of the doctor that he may tell me I am in fact dying. I have been reading yalls posts and I have found much relief in knowing that even though I am alone in this here, I am not alone in the world. I need some advice on how to calm my mind, when should I see a professional about my anxiety, and how to talk to my family about how bad it is. Thanks all. Jordan.
