I'm a bit confused as to weather what I'm experiencing is a phobia, gaiety disorder, OCD or maybe just bad habits or behaviors I've developed over the years. As a kid I started to develop a fear of being in situations where I couldn't escape from eg. being stuck in an elevator but I've looked at phobias like agoraphobia, claustrophobia and Claustrophobia but I don't fear confined spaces or crowded places I only fear being trapped and knowing that I can never escape. I don't mind going in lifts It's just the loss of control and not being able to escape when you enter one that I fear. I don't think its a control thing because I'm fine with being driven by someone and not being in control of the car as I know I could easily get out, unlike a plane where I know there is no escape. I also associate death with this phobia, I feel that after death I will still be conscious but in some sort of void unable to cease just in nothingness forever, so its not really death I fear but again being in a situation that I can't escape from and have no control over. Also growing up I had a fear of developing a terminal disease as I associated this with death and the void scenario but Also having someone tell me I'm going to die would put me in a situation that I could not escape from, this is The same reason I fear situations that aren't associated with death like becoming paralyzed or going to prison Because I can't escape and have no control that situation. The reason that I'm leaning towards it being a phobia is that I'm fine when I don't experience anything that might result in me getting trapped, it's not something that affects me daily like general anxiety, also I don't really have obsessive thoughts that come into my mind, I only Have them when I know I'm going to have to face a situation that might cause me to become trapped. I did adopt some OCD rituals I guess to try to help me avoid these situations eg. tapping something so many times so that I didn't get c****r, but I don't do theses anymore because I know they don't do anything, I mean I guess I have touch of OCD as I do like to go back and check things like ovens Taps to see if they're turned off but this doesn't really hold me back from doing thighs like my fear/phobia of being trapped and not being in control. I would just like to understand what this phobia is (if It is one) and if anyone else has had similar experiences. Sorry if its a bit hard to read, I'm finding it hard to describe.
