naleik

Yeah...I realize that was a huge problem in the relationship. She came off cold and left me when I needed her most. That just shows how much I mean to her. I do get that it was overwhelming for her, but to completely separate herself from me knowing full well that it would only potentiate my anxiety is sad. She can't even check to see how I'm doing after multiple months with her, showing support for her. ughhh it would just be really difficult to find someone else who understands anxiety and all the problems it causes. I would need a relationship with someone who understands these problems and offers some compassion.

I ended up overwhelming with all my anxiety problems that she now wants a "break." The last time she was over, we talked about how it was a problem and that I need to see a psychiatrist, etc. but we ended up getting in a sort of fight because it is just stressful for both of us. As you said, Lonesailor 14, it is BOTH of our problems, and she feels like I am putting my stress onto her, and not jsut because of the sex, but because of my general anxiety and the bad mood the sex leads to. I don't know where to turn to. There is no one else I have to talk to about this. I feel my life spiraling out of control. We got along so well until these issues started and I'm afraid I won't be able to get her to come around. I have told her I will start therapy and work on myself and I didn't mean to stress her out. If she is gone permanently, my confidence is going to plummet and my anxiety even further through the roof.

Thanks for the replies. I have told her that I have anxiety problems and she acts understanding. The problem here is that I feel like it annoys her a lot and that she is just being nice about it. She even said "this is straining our relationship when it shouldn't be" after I become irritated when it happens. What would he the benefit of going to a GP first? I can't exactly tell my parents why I want to go. They know I have anxiety in general though, and would be okay with me seeking treatment from a psychiatrist. I have read online though that psychiatrists just usually prescribe antidepressants for anxiety, and those make your sexual function even worse :/

I have always dealt with anxiety, but recently it has become much worse and is severely impacting my quality of life. Throughout school, I have had bad social anxiety and as a result didn't make a ton of friends and was too scared to approach girls. Luckily, I started to overcome this social anxiety in the last couple years (last year of high school, first year of college). Suddenly I feel as though my life is spiraling out of control though. I have a great girlfriend whom I have been with for about 6 months. We were getting along great until my anxiety began to cause problems. The first time we were going to have sex (about 3 months ago), I got very nervous due my anxious nature and wasn't able to get it up, despite always being very horny during foreplay. Of course once you mess things up once, the anxiety takes over and you panic when approaching the situation again. I was able to get the stress to a point where I could get it up, but then I started worrying about lasting long enough and of course the result is premature ejaculation. The feedback loop continues. Stress -> perform poorly -> more stress and rumination -> perform even more poorly. I'm not stuck in this terrible cycle and don't even want to attempt to have sex anymore. The girlfriend is annoyed, I'm worried of losing her, and it has caused a lot of tension between us because it puts me in a terrible mood. Worse yet, if she leaves, I worry about ever starting another relationship because the same issues will arise, and I barely had the confidence to start the relationship in the first place with her when I wasn't experiencing all these worries. I don't know where to turn for help. I am planning to visit a psychiatrist soon and hopefully they will be able to give me medication to calm me down. Does anyone have any suggestions to break this cycle or what medications may be effective?