panic attacks nightly, death phobia

[roccette 1]

I have an extreme fear of death. My first panic attack occurred when I was 6 and first realized that I will die one day. This did not occur again until a few months ago. My attacks jolted me up and I felt out of my body with racing heart, pacing, scary thoughts. Sometimes I would pace for a while and other times I would take an anxiety med. These types of thOughts are increasing. They used to only occur once the sun went down, but now they are creeping into the daytime more and more. I am a very high functioning person in a strenuous school program and job. I am afraid I will be so debilitated that I won't be able to function. I am scared all the time. My anxiety it's high and some ocd types of symptoms are happening too. I just can't accept how fast time goes and that I will not exist. I feel the opposite of s*****al, but a lot seems pointless if no matter what we all die. Human needs stay creeping me out too, and sometimes it's even hard to drink water. I don't know what can help me. I feel like this is an unsolvable problem that will never really go away, until I die. I can't deal. I have been able to semi control the panic attacks with distractions, but I feel them in the background of my present moment. My heart races nightly and I'm afraid I'm hurting my body. I am on psych meds and am not sure they are correct. I take someThing as needed for sleep, but I get afraid to take it when I am in a panicky state. Any comments would help right now. Thanks for reading.