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Fears of ALS

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This year has been hard on everyone. Especially those with mental health issues. I had my first panic attack 8 years ago and have diagnosed myself with brain tumors, cancers, and now ALS. The thing a lot of people don’t seem to quite understand is that anxiety and depression can cause physical symptoms. I remember when Chadwick Boseman died and I saw it was from Colon cancer. I did the classic google search and read the symptoms. I began to have these symptoms and spent a month thinking I had them. I got married two months ago. During that time I thought I was dealing with colon cancer and lost 15 pounds. I spent thousands of dollars going to the doctor, getting an endoscopy, colonoscopy, and X-rays. Nothing was found. Nothing to the point that everything looked perfect for a 27 year old. I then felt a pain in my back on my honey moon. I began searching symptoms and came up with lung cancer. I lost sleep, I lost even more weight, and I became severely depressed again. I knew I had a late stage lung cancer. I got back home and immediately ran to the doctor. He checked my lungs and they sounded fine so we moved onto another X-ray and there was nothing there. After finding that out, I knew all the physical symptoms were in my head. I began getting back to life, gained some weight back, and understood I was okay and that doctors did everything they knew they needed to so that I knew I was okay. My friend texted me in the middle of october telling me he was having twitches, weakness, and dropped stuff. He thought he had ms/als. I told him that those are both very rare and multiple tests are needed to be done but rest assured you do not have it and stress and fatigue can cause your mind to play tricks on you. I didn’t think anything of it. I then talked to him again and decided to look at symptoms. Never do this. I diagnosed myself with als. I am currently two weeks into it. The first week I had zero symptoms but was adamant that I had it because the depression that is now back was causing my body to be fatigued and weak. This weak though was when the physical symptoms came back. My right hand is “weak”, I’m losing my “grip”, my forearm hurts. I have talked to two doctors who say I don’t have it and now a neurosurgeon who promised me I don’t have it. This is still not enough. I will fight this whether I have it or not. If you are reading this thank you and you are not alone. Depression is hell and it is beautiful. The things our brain can do to our body is incredible. Whether this disease is real in my body or not I am fortunate to have friends and family that are there for me. Please know you are not alone. Please 


has anyone else ever had this happen? My brother did and suffers from depression and finally told me if I need to go to the hospital then go. But warned me that they won’t be taking me in for my physical symptoms this time. It will be my mental fatigue that keeps me there.


god bless 

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