nolenjoney

3 hours ago, jonathan123 said:

Do they really know how you feel? Have you told them?

I know they would be very disappointed with me if I told them. It's hard to counter argue, specially with my father. I know computer science is more secure than other options that I had but still, this is not working. I am just afraid if I talk with my parents and they say they know better than me, they have more experience and I'm still too young to make decisions by myself on what I think might be better for me. My father always says that in 5 years my passion will be different than the one I have now, for him it is just to focus on something that gives safe future, basically and then I can pursue other interests. It's hard to study something that I don't enjoy and the bad marks are getting the best out of me. I think I will try to write them something, face to face is really hard for me to have a conversation. Thanks jonathan!

Thanks for the share, I was very touched by it.

I am mostly afraid. I have a lot of fear I am not good enough. I could relate to a lot of points in the fear section but I don't know if I have an anxiety disorder or I am already depressed or something similar. It is very strong and I can't control it. Thanks for the list, it's helpful.

I am also very afraid of failure and it's bringing me to the brink of depression. What sometimes calms me down is knowing that I did my best but even my best was not enough but I just keep trying until my best is enough. And thats the only thing I can do. It's still hard to deal with it when I see others accomplish things I don't but I try and keep going.

Sometimes it is hard to look at my situation from a bigger picture but I have to deal with this everyday. Studying, doing my best and not getting rewarded as I think I deserve to be. I just can't see how can I keep this going, sometimes I just want to drop out and close myself in my room doing mindless stuff, it's really how I deeply feel. I really hope I don't get depressed but it's almost as if I already feel like that. I talked with my parents and they just say is how life is, that only by working hard I can reap the benefits. I don't even really know why I am studying, computer science is not my real passion but my dad is always emphasizing that it is a secure job and that I will earn good money with it. I am feeling really lost and tired.

Sometimes it is hard to look at my situation from a bigger picture but I have to deal with this everyday. Studying, doing my best and not getting rewarded as I think I deserve to be. I just can't see how can I keep this going, sometimes I just want to drop out and close myself in my room doing mindless stuff, it's really how I deeply feel. I really hope I don't get depressed but it's almost as if I already feel like that. I talked with my parents and they just say is how life is, that only by working hard I can reap the benefits. I don't even really know why I am studying, computer science is not my real passion but my dad is always emphasizing that it is a secure job and that I will earn good money with it. I am feeling really lost and tired.

Sometimes it is hard to look at my situation from a bigger picture but I have to deal with this everyday. Studying, doing my best and not getting rewarded as I think I deserve to be. I just can't see how can I keep this going, sometimes I just want to drop out and close myself in my room doing mindless stuff, it's really how I deeply feel. I really hope I don't get depressed but it's almost as if I already feel like that. I talked with my parents and they just say is how life is, that only by working hard I can reap the benefits. I don't even really know why I am studying, computer science is not my real passion but my dad is always emphasizing that it is a secure job and that I will earn good money with it. I am feeling really lost and tired.

Hi everyone, my name is Jon. My story is very simple. Since I was very young, my parents always had huge expectations for me. They both had a lot of success in their areas of expertise and I always looked up to them. Right now, I'm in the first year of university, studying computer science and I don't know how to deal with this pressure. Every time I get a bad mark, I have a breakdown and I feel so down and depressed because I really try hard. The worst thing is knowing that a bad mark is the best I could've done. I'm a perfeccionist, just like my parents and I always aim to do really well. But after I get a bad mark,  I always tell myself that I will do better next time and I am always determined to improve. However, this is really affecting me negatively and I don't know how long can I keep this attitude, it is just draining me emotionally. I also get really devastated when others have better grades than me when I know they don't try as hard. Do you guys have any advice on how to deal with this? This is really getting the best out of me...