Scared to get healthy

[enidoreilley 83]

I have an additional, really weird complication to my health anxiety. I tend to sabotage most of my attempts to get healthy because I am afraid of different aspects of being healthy. Obviously I know this is ridiculous.

I am pretty overweight. I lost 25 lbs in about 8-9 weeks recently by dieting (tracking w weight watchers) and exercising almost every day. I started to get really nervous about how easily the weight was coming off. I have since stopped dieting and exercising and my clothes are fitting tighter again, but I'm afraid to weigh myself for two reasons - what if I haven't gained much weight? Won't that mean I'm sick? Also, I am afraid that I have gained a lot of weight because I know it's so bad for my health to carry around extra weight.

Exercise is a similar thing. I enjoy exercise but when I gas out or have a crappy work out I jump to heart failure or ALS. What if I were to try to take a brisk walk right now and I felt tired right away? That could ruin me with anxiety at a minimum and portend a terminal illness at the maximum.

I think my fears come down to: if I am doing everything right and I still feel bad, won't that mean I'm really sick?? Right now I can blame a lot on being 40-50 lbs overweight and smoking occasionally. 

Has anyone else ever been afraid like that? I know it's the worst possible thing. Most Americans actually die from obesity and smoking. And while that scares me, it's still hard for me to make a rational decision.

 

[Everyday Sunshine 108]

I am also overweight, although I work out regularly  - mostly for stress reduction and a hope that going to spin class justifies donuts...which it doesn't at nearly age 50 now.

At one time, I was really focused on weight loss and was doing pretty well until I convinced myself that my rapid weight loss was from cancer (ridiculous, I know) because it was "too easy".  I gained the weight back fairly quickly afterward.  And I have regretted doubting myself since then.

"Doing everything right" once doesn't help.  As you probably know, we rarely doing everything right.  They key is to do something right regularly.  and the older we get, the faster we go back to square one in regards to our fitness goals.  But you don't have to stay there.  Just know you're back to square one, its going to suck for a while, but it will get better.

For me, exercise proves that everything is still working to one extent or the other and somehow I have built up a better defense against heart attacks or cancer.  Don't get me wrong, I actually have the same worry that you do - one bad workout makes me doubt myself.  I tell myself that I have to follow the rule of 3 consecutive bad workouts before I allow myself to even begin to worry.  Good news is that I have yet to have that happen.

[DeannaW 18]

I've done something similar to what you do. I use exercise to track how well I am, and I think, "Well, if I can push myself in the gym like this, it means I can't have XYZ." My problem is that I have injuries that are keeping me from working out as hard as I'd like, and it's affected my stamina, sooooo....there goes my plan of using exercise to make sure I'm healthy. :-P Does a number on my paranoia. I've said to my trainer before that I don't think I'm meant to be healthy because whenever I try, something always gets in my way. Which sucks because I'm trying to lose like 35 lbs, and it'd be awesome if the knee issue I have right now wasn't keeping me from using my elliptical.