Boondox789

Agoraphobic looking for friends

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Well my name is Matt and I’m from Burlington, Ontario. I’ve been agoraphobic for almost 20 years but, wasn’t diagnosed until 15 years ago. When I was diagnosed I was put on meds(Paxil) and within two weeks my life went from not being able to step outside my house to driving an hour and a half up north to visit friends, my life had done a complete 180 and I was able to live my life again. Five years later the drugs had started to not work as well until eventually they didn’t at all and I lost everything, my wife, my house, my job and my kid. My mistake was not trying to overcome the agoraphobia while it was under control and instead living with the band-aid. It took some time but, eventually after trying a few other meds I stabilized and was able to live my life but, only partially as I still can’t work or travel too far a distance. 

As im sure you can understand this has made many things in life difficult including my love life as no woman wants to be with a guy with my issues. 

I’ve been receiving help now from many doctors and counselors and I’ve made progress but it’s slow going and not having much money makes doing certain things like exposure therapy somewhat difficult. 

Ive recently decided to go back to school to be a counselor myself so that perhaps I can help people in the same predicament I’m in and help them get past the hurdles I have and the ones I know I still need to overcome myself. It will take me a little longer than someone without my issues but I’ll get there I’m sure. 

I guess it would just be nice too talk and maybe even meet people in the same situation or who understand what I’m dealing with as even my family doesn’t really understand the fear I live with. 

So yeah that’s me in a nut shell and I hope to hear from somebody or everyone lol. 

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Hi there!. Welcome to AC.  :).

I'm sorry to hear your story but, sadly, it's one we hear so often. Agoraphobia is greatly misunderstood and, until a few years ago, was not recognized by the medics as an illness, which it is. Family and friends often just don't understand, and would we expect them to? If you are fit and well and can get about how could you know what it's like to be so fearful of going out or even going for a walk on your own. You have to have been there to know! If you look up on Amazon the books by Dr. Claire Weekes. She spent the later part of her life writing about agoraphobia and became a recognized authority on the subject. It's good you are doing counselling training. I will help so many and take your mind off yourself, which is by no means easy.

As im sure you can understand this has made many things in life difficult including my love life as no woman wants to be with a guy with my issues

Maybe, but it's not always true. Many women understand far more than men what anxiety is like and often help a lot. To have an understanding partner is a wonderful thing, but so many lack that comfort. No matter how long you have suffered you CAN recover. Honest! I have seen people in middle age who have suffered all their lives recover and lead a normal life, so take heart. Good to have you with us.     

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