My god this is relentless

[Ruu 39]

I've never had it so bad for so long. It's usually a little relapse for a few weeks, then all back to normal and I'm all better for another year. But this time I've been in a constant state of anxiety attack for about 6 months. I'll start feeling better one day and then be back to square one the next. I'm still constantly worrying about my heart. Every little beat that feels slightly wrong. Every little flutter.

I've got a normal cold now too, I was hoping that having a "real" illness would kick me in to realising everything else is just in my mind. But if anything it's made it worse. Now I worry instead that my simple little normal cold is turning into Sepsis, despite having NO symptoms of sepsis. I get a little upper back pain, immediately I know I have aortic dissection, despite the fact that pain lasted about a minute and is gone now. I get some IBS pain and immediately know to myself that my spleen has obviously grown and I have some kind of leukemia.

It's insane. It's quite ridiculous that we know the scientific names of so many obscure diseases.

I'd quite like it to be done now please.  2017 is basically a write-off. I'd like to just forget this whole year.

[Holls 1505]

I do this too.. I'll be absolutely fine then when it hits, it hits hard!!! I started therapy in August and it has helped. She teaches me how to think diff.like when your mind tells you that you have this or that.. it's just thoughts.. they aren't real, they aren't proven facts. Your mind always goes to the worse case senerio.. try keeping a journal and write down alllll the things you thought you had.. write down how you feel.day to day I know for me, when my anxiety is high my list gets long and bad... You will get better. We all will. It's just finding what works for you. I do all kinds of stuff to keep my anxiety at Bay lol. Hugs!

[Ruu 39]

Thanks Holls! I did go to a CBT therapist about 6-7 years ago when I had it bad, and I think that did help a bit. But I didn't like that it wasn't really targeted at Health anxiety. it was very much a general anxiety blanket treatment, so I'd end up filling out sheets of paper asking things like if my ability to be in crowds had improved, when it was never a problem to begin with. Now I'm trying to do daily meditation/hypnosis (funnily enough I'm worse on the days, or days after, I don't meditate) and trying to learn general mindfulness skills. Trying to keep a healthier mind etc. Paul McKenna books/audio are amazingly effective at changing the way you think about things. If I could recommend anything to anyone, it would be to give him a go. You have to be open to that type of thing working. But if you are, the effects can be pretty remarkable.

[Holls 1505]

24 minutes ago, Ruu said:

Thanks Holls! I did go to a CBT therapist about 6-7 years ago when I had it bad, and I think that did help a bit. But I didn't like that it wasn't really targeted at Health anxiety. it was very much a general anxiety blanket treatment, so I'd end up filling out sheets of paper asking things like if my ability to be in crowds had improved, when it was never a problem to begin with. Now I'm trying to do daily meditation/hypnosis (funnily enough I'm worse on the days, or days after, I don't meditate) and trying to learn general mindfulness skills. Trying to keep a healthier mind etc. Paul McKenna books/audio are amazingly effective at changing the way you think about things. If I could recommend anything to anyone, it would be to give him a go. You have to be open to that type of thing working. But if you are, the effects can be pretty remarkable.

I did a you tube hypnosis on health anxiety and I loved it lol. It did help me. I do it when I feel that darkness creeping back in. My mind races so bad so mediation is so difficult for me. I'm so glad it works for you.. yep finding what works and sticking with it helps  my therapist doesn't do CBT.. we talk about what I think is going on and she says the simplist things like oh is your thought a Dr lol.. and she says we'll these thoughts aren't real and I never ever thought of it like that.. I feel like what my mind tells me must be true but it's not! I feel powerful knowing this. She kind of tells me in a therapist way rule your mind or it will rule you. And she's so right. 

[ZELDA 52]

Oh Ruu im sorry you are going thru this. Its also happening to me and i know its awful. I send you hugs and hope u start feeling better soon. 

[Ruu 39]

Thanks Holls and Zelda!

holls. Sounds like you have a great therapist! We all need to find someone like that!

[Jinx 7]

I am right there with you. Hate when I fall down the rabbit hole. Really struggling myself!

[Ruu 39]

It's really difficult Jinx! Just need to be persistent and consistent when something helps. I often relapse because I start feeling a little better and stop doing meditation or whatever else is helping at the time. I've found that to be one of the biggest problems. Find something that helps and keep at it, even if you feel like you might not need to.