Sara95x 1 Posted October 22, 2015 so i kinda wanted to vent a little, this could just be my experience and i hate to be negative although i think typing this out may help me ! .. so after feeling guilty from family to be getting an education and well doing something with my life, which obviously failed since my anxiety and agoraphobia, so recently i decided i will take my time no more feeling guilty, i need to concentrate on myself for the first time, and make sure i am fit to enjoy life and everything that comes with it. its as if i need to prove im unwell, i know its hard to imagine when you have not suffered from anxiety, i just wish mental health was more known about and accepted, im tired of feeling shame for the way i am and hating myself for it,.the guilt i feel for not being able to just pop to the shop myself is unreal and its too much to hold on to recently, its a vicious circle which ends in feeling like people would be better off without the inconvenience. noone should feel like they are not good enough.. is it just me ? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jonathan123 2368 Posted October 22, 2015 Hi Sara. Guilt, Shame; NO! you must never feel like that. No matter what anyone says that is never right. You didn't ask for anxiety did you? Did you do it to yourself deliberately? Of course not. If you had the flu would you feel ashamed? This an illness like any other. No shame or guilt is involved. You WILL recover if you go about it in the right way. There will always be the old brigade to listen to. 'Snap out of it', 'Pull yourself together'. 'Stop being silly'. Oh yes, heard it all. Take no notice, they speak from ignorance. Ignore them. Unless you have been there you just will never know what anxiety is about. YES! Look after yourself. Concentrate on yourself. In anxiety we often need to be a bit selfish. Not in a nasty way, but to put our own interests first. If we don't want to do something then we don't. We must never feel guilty about not wanting to do. Of course, we need to make an effort to get well, but not if it upsets us in the process. You will be fine because you have the right attitude. Yes, mental health is not given the priority it deserves, and many of us do our best to bring that to the attention of those who pull the purse strings. Jon. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cubmanben 134 Posted October 22, 2015 Jonathan hit on a lot of really good points. You didn't ask for this, but it's there. I think we've all heard all of the "get over it" type quick fix suggestions before. It's obviously not that simple. However, you are given a unique opportunity to get better and in turn find out more about yourself. Think about all the people out there who carry around a lot of burdens. Does it manifest itself in the form of anxiety? Maybe not, but they'll continue to wallow around not being happy, but never knowing how to find it. You have a chance now to really work on and really find out about you. I think one of the biggest things with anxiety is it causes this doubt. So as you learn to start to overcome it, you'll gain confidence. As you gain more, you build more. You'll find out what's at the root of it and address it with the ultimate goal of truly learning to be happy in your own skin. Who doesn't want that? You certainly can and certainly will get there. I have no doubts on this. I firmly believe anyone who truly wants to get better and put in the work to get there can and will. You are no different there, you'll get it. The fact that you took the time to come and type out some of your frustrations and start to rationalize them is a big first step. Don't discount that! 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Devil 5 Posted October 22, 2015 It is definitely not just you. I have felt that way before even though I have a pretty supportive family. My mom suffers from depression, so she understands mental illness, but I still feel guilty every time she goes out of her way to help me. I feel like I am an inconvenience, or an extra thing for her to worry about. It is a really shitty feeling, but I know she wouldn't be doing anything if she didn't want to. So I guess just try to remember that if you have people in your life who help you regularly, that they wouldn't be doing it if they didn't want to. They don't have to be there for you but have chosen to. They don't see you as an inconvenience, but as someone they care about who needs help. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sara95x 1 Posted October 23, 2015 Thanks very much for the replies, really made a lot of sense! i guess its just who you surround yourself with depends on how easy it is to just be selfish (not in the bad way) i dont have the most understanding people in my life, i dont want to appear as though i want sympathy or an easy ride, its not the case at all id just like someone to understand. i live with my partner, not very close to my family, and i know it must drive him mad sometimes and im sure i can be a pain, i just feel as though if i cant do something, or if im upset about it he gets annoyed, i dont really have any emotional support at all, the guilt is putting me into a rut. thanks again for replies! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mdelgado 0 Posted October 24, 2015 Hi Sara , I recently got diagnosed with agoraphobia anxiety by my counselor it's been a rough long 10 years for me with no medication, but at this point I feel like I can ' t do this alone anymore , that's why I felt the need to seek a counselor, I have hope she will be able to help me, try doing meditation ,exercise, I have been using Bach rescue remedy spray it works pretty good it's all natural you spray it on your tongue twice it's very descret no one will know what you are spraying, you can also try herbal teas but if you are taking medications you need to ask pharmacist cuz it may interact with your medication, are you also fearful of leaving your own home? I am glad that at least we can take about this together, I have been keeping a journal of my thoughts and feelings for the day, together we can get thru this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sara95x 1 Posted October 24, 2015 Hey Mdelgado sorry to hear that, what is it the spray helps with ? yes i am fearful, it has drove me to stay indoors for the most part, the only time i can leave is when i have someone i trust with me, id like that a lot i have struggled to find someone to share this with yes we can! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elizabeth1976 10 Posted January 29, 2016 You're not alone. I feel a lot of shame and guilt for my anxiety as well . I did go back to school , online . I have been able to fight through the anxiety and get not only an associates degree, but a bachelors degree , and I am one class away from getting my masters . It can be done ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jonathan123 2368 Posted January 29, 2016 Hi. Elizabeth. Welcome to AC. . Ah, shame and guilt. I wonder why? Did you ask for it? Do anything to encourage it? Were deliberately out to make yourself miserable? This is a psychological conundrum. Why? I think it's because we are not conforming to the 'norm'. People expect so much of us, they think we should behave in a certain way and when we don't they think we are 'different', apart in some way, and we feel embarrassed and ashamed. But you are you, a unique person. People with anxiety are invariably sensitive people. They care and are easily disturbed by stressful situations. Something unpleasant that a so called 'normal' person would pass over worries them. Thank God there are such people as you. More caring is so badly needed as is love. Well done! To get a Masters with anxiety is fantastic. An inspiring post. Jon. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elizabeth1976 10 Posted January 29, 2016 Thank you. I feel like I should be able to do things. Like go to the store. Or even cook dinner. I struggle with everything right now. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sara95x 1 Posted January 29, 2016 Way to go Elizabeth! So true Jonathan, i think its worse these days with social media ect as what you see online you assume is the norm, i read once that people tend to feel bad about themselves when they see others posts on say facebook, but you need to remember people post what they want others to see, you know what i mean? as im only 20, a high school drop out (slowly stopped attending due to anxiety) all i see is everyone accomplishing things and i feel embarrassed, what do i do ? i cant even go to the shops, sometimes i cant even move! anyway..yeah, accepting it will take time! x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elizabeth1976 10 Posted January 29, 2016 Online school is wonderful. I am actually studying to teach history online. Let me know if I can help. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
