Feeling Like My Dr's Don't Take Me Seriously Or Offer Help

[StephanieJayne 11]

Hello,

I'm wondering if anyone of you have any advice or can relate to my situation.

I've been suffering from depression recurrently for 10 years and whilst there have been periods in my life when I've felt more anxious frequently these have been manageable until quite recently. After experience intense anxiety episodes I have now been off of work for nearly 4 weeks trying to fix myself. I've received cognitive behavioural therapy in the past for depression and am pulling on every technique I can for support.

My biggest frustration is that whenever I visit the doctor and ask for help they offer little assistance other than increasing my medication, which has been altered 3 times this year yet I am still getting worse.

They do not seem to recognise that this anxiety is a new and very challenging symptom for me. They keep saying it's a symptom of my depression and that I need the right balance of medicatio, then happily sign me off of work.

I've also previously mentioned that I am concerned I may have bipolar disorder type 2, but they've basically told me unless I do something crazy,like try to kill myself I cannot be referred for psychiatric assessment. The trouble is when my behaviour is fluctuating there's no way I would visit a doctor, it's only in hindsight when I seem to regulate or become more depressed that I can identify hypomanic style behavioural trends.

I'm so frustrated and unhappy with feeling like I'm not being heard or offered constructive support that will help me level out that I'm tempted to do something stupid so that they finally hear my struggle and somedays I'm not sure I'd even care if it all just ended.

I'm trying so hard to maintain a normal life but it's getting harder and harder. I'm exhausted of the effort and I can feel that I'm loosing. Somedays I can barely get out of bed, let alone leave the house. How do I get the support I need before I loose the energy to fight for myself?

Stephanie Jayne

[jonathan123 2368]

Hi Stephanie. One thing is certain and that is unless you have suffered as you are it is impossible for anyone to realise what it's like. I don't know where you live, but it is the same all over the so called civilised world. Doctors receive little or no training in anxiety. They are trained to look for physical symptoms and to dispense medication. That's all they know. There are a few who take the time and trouble to find out more, but very few. Let's face it, they are far too busy, (here in the UK anyway), and you get ten minutes of their time. As much as some would like to help what can they do in ten minutes? With most of them it is medication to get you out of the surgery. Can you get some sort of counselling? I know in some countries it can be expensive, but one to one counselling does help. Don't do anything to yourself to get attention. You can fix this problem without that.

Have you the energy to read or listen to CD's? There are many on the market. I would recommend those by Dr. Weekes. You will find info on this under RESOURCES on the site. There are also helpful books available. Try not to fight or struggle with the symptoms. It is the fighting that perpetuates the problem. I know how difficult this can be, believe me. You are not and never will lose all the time you try. You are on here and I know we can't do a lot from a distance, but we are your friends and you can talk to us whenever you want.     Jon.

[KH84 42]

are you going to just a regular doctor or a psychologist? if you are just going to a general doctor I recommend going to a psych.  general doctors don't know much about anxiety.  mine had me on the wrong medicine that my psych just threw in the trash.  psych's tend to only see you for a few minutes too but they are more educated in the area.

[StephanieJayne 11]

Jon

Thank you for your message. As.pathetic as it sounds, sometimes it's nice to hear reassurance from someone other than myself. But I found your message very encouraging. I am from the UK and on a waiting list for counselling I self referred too. So hopefully I'll hear something soon and can get underway.I've never tried self help books or CDs but have seen Dr Weekes mentioned elsewhere here, so will certainly look into it.

Thank you for your support and kind words, I know others who understand and care are out there, but somehow I manage to forget and it's nice to be reminded.

Kind Regards

Stephanie

[StephanieJayne 11]

Hello KH84,

Thank you for your support also. In the UK I can't just go to a psychiatrist without a doctor referreferral, unless I pay a LOT for it. Or certainly not in this area of the UK anywa, which is partly why I'm so frustrated as I have seen mental health nurses and councillors previously, but am not improving much. I'm feeling more motivated this evening though thanks to your support and others who have taken the time to comment on my post. I'm very grateful for your time. :-)

[lonesailor14 653]

Hi Steph

Anxiety is a whole different animal to depression. Sure they can go hand in hand but really, it's just different. I'd suggest finding a post I wrote called "new to anxiety and panic, bewildered" at the top of the introductions tab. It tries to explain what's going on and why.

As Jon says, doctors really don't treat anxiety well, they don't know how. On top of that you're making yourself stressed by self diagnosis! We all do this when looking for answers but it just makes things worse. You have self diagnosed as being bipolar. Until you actually get a real diagnosis, you are not bipolar and there is no point worrying about it until that moment. You can't manage something until it's actually happening, keep your mind on the right now. Hang in there, we're here to help.

[StephanieJayne 11]

Hello Lone Sailor,

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I actually have already read you're new to anxiety post. I already understood the fight/flight nature of anxiety, but this helped remind me. I do my very best to accept feelings that I have and have learnt to manage uncomfortable social enenvironments, but I work in a very much customer facing role and so allowing myself to have an episode when a guest is standing at my desk is not in reality a constructive optio, nor one my management would tolerate if it became noticed by cucustomers.

I wouldn't say I have self diagnosed, but I engage in behaviours which I am carried away by at the time and later, on reflection am scared and concerned by. Having researched behaviours that have scared me I recognise that bipolar disorder is categorised by similar tendencies, but the reality is that this stems from my behaviour worring me in the first place because it is unlike the me I am familiar with or because it's irresponsible or impacts my day to day routine negatively. Despite a self diagnosis these behaviours would still be concerning because they compromise my steady personal identity. It's like not understanding yourself. I'm not certain I am bipolar but I know there are times when I am not myself and would like this aspect of my health taken seriously by my health care practitioners. Moreover I learnt in a very hard way, that unless I self diagnosed and tell my doctors what I want them to do that I get no help. Consequently I self diagnosed my depression, but because I wasn't strong enough to tell my doctor I wasted more help when I was 16, I went through two very uncomfortable and challenging years before I walked back into the doctor and told them to give me anti-depressants when I was 18. Similarly this time I have had to tell the doctor I have anxiety before they'll even consider my symptoms seriously, which is in part my biggest frustration - unless I know what is helpful and recommended and go in and tell them I want it, they just act like there's nothing they can do and unfortunately I learnt this in a very very hard way.

I appreciate that you're all here to help and am very grateful for your support, encouragement and kind words. But diagnosis or no diagnosis, bipolar or no bipolar right now my depression and anxiety are difficult symptoms to incorporate into my day to day life, without having negative impacts. So I am desperate to find out how others have sought successful support so that I can too.

[lonesailor14 653]

When my life was consumed by anxiety, I found very little useful help! Not for lack of searching. So I can tell you Dr Claire Weekes books are the best!

Now as for letting yourself have an episode at work...well this is where training comes in. Practice letting go, practice just letting it happen, but do it in places where you're not under so much pressure. Then build up to the more scary things and practice there. When you do let go or "have an episode", what happens? It's not the end of the world. It sure feels that way but with practice you'll discover it's not. Nothing happens. When you feel that tension and anxiety building, until the point that you may panic, what happens then? We feel like something embarrassing is going to happen, we feel like we might keel over and die. But none of this happens. You just feel really uncomfortable. Almost always, no one notices. I've stood in front of customers panicking, sweating, feeling lack of oxygen, but all the while kept serving.

It's when we try to keep it together that destroys us. You will get to a point eventually where you will decide you are more important than the customers. You can get to a point where you no longer care if you lose your job, your house, everything because you just can't keep it together anymore. That's when you'll really let go & make progress!

The way to let go is to no longer give a damn what happens! No longer care about trivial customers, appearance, money, whatever it is that you're keeping it together for. Be selfish and throw your hands in the air and say "I give up!"

Let go of the fear of what might happen if you don't keep it together. I can tell you if you don't "keep it together" or under control, all that happens is you feel worse! So what have you got to lose, except anxiety.

Keep working at it, it really does take practice to truly stop caring about the consequences of an attack. But once you master that off switch, take it with you wherever you go and use it there too! You will recover, just keep practicing not caring and give yourself time.

[jonathan123 2368]

Yes indeed. Giving up is NOT giving in. There is a vast difference.  As sailor says, throw your hands in the air and say 'I give up, that's it. I am no longer going to try and control, get rid of 'IT', sublimate 'IT', conquer 'IT' but just let it be. Do what it will I will accept 'IT' and all its antics.' That way you take the power out of it. Anxiety is a powerful emotion; it thrives on the power you give it by your fear of it. By giving up the struggle you deprive it of energy; you starve it into submission. Once on its knees then you can switch it off for good. You then know how to deal with it in the future should it rear its head again.    Jon.

[StephanieJayne 11]

You both sound incredibly strong and positive, despite all those niggling doubts in the back of my mind, you're encouragement does make me believe that eventually I can throw caution to the wind and just go with it, so thank you both. It's definitely something I'm going to have to work on though I'm not sure I know where the off switch is. I've started going back to work now though for a couple of hours a couple of times a week

(away from customers atm), and I seem to be doing okay there, but I'm exhausted in my own time and more twitchy. I'll get a good balance eventually I'm sure. Definitely going to look into getting familiar with Dr Weekes. Thanks for your support, Stephanie x x x

[jonathan123 2368]

Good for you Stephanie. A positive approach can work wonders. I would not  label myself as  strong or positive but I have found a way to manage my anxiety so that it no longer governs me. In all her posts sailor is saying the same. Good management means to take charge, to use all our existing strengths to our advantage. We have taken the power away from the little swine and backed him into a corner and there he stays. When he pops his head out again give him a thump and tell him to know his place. 'I am top dog here and I have more intelligence than you so get back in your corner and speak when you are spoken to'. Sounds daft? Talking to 'IT' and putting 'IT' down helps. Externalising our problem also helps. Give it a try.      Jon.