Nat1996

TW Suicidal Thoughts related to HA

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Is there anyone who can relate to what I’m going through!? I currently don’t have a doctor and it isn’t easy to get into a doc through the ER.

Has anyone ever felt like you’re dying of something slowly and it drives you so crazy that you want to off yourself before whatever you’re sick with kills you first!? I feel crazy but I’ve been losing my mind recently thinking I want to be in control of my death not some disease that nobody will look into. I’m so tired of suffering.

 Anyone? 😞 

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Hi. Nat. Your distress call must be answered. You live in the US so I have no idea of the facilities available, but do you have the Samaritans, a free phone in service for those in trouble as we have here in the UK?   You must talk to someone about how you feel, preferably a professional. Are there no phone-in's available? You are NOT going crazy. We have all felt that and it's not true. It's one of the awful symptoms of anxiety. Being in control is what we all want, but is so difficult to achieve in anxiety. We can knock ourselves up trying to gain control. Far better to go with it. Allow the thoughts to come, but see them for what they are, only thoughts in a very tired mind. Please try and get some professional help. What you are contemplating is not the answer.  Please let us know how you get on. Very best wishes.     John.

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14 hours ago, jonathan123 said:

Hi. Nat. Your distress call must be answered. You live in the US so I have no idea of the facilities available, but do you have the Samaritans, a free phone in service for those in trouble as we have here in the UK?   You must talk to someone about how you feel, preferably a professional. Are there no phone-in's available? You are NOT going crazy. We have all felt that and it's not true. It's one of the awful symptoms of anxiety. Being in control is what we all want, but is so difficult to achieve in anxiety. We can knock ourselves up trying to gain control. Far better to go with it. Allow the thoughts to come, but see them for what they are, only thoughts in a very tired mind. Please try and get some professional help. What you are contemplating is not the answer.  Please let us know how you get on. Very best wishes.     John.

I actually live in Canada and we do have help lines and stuff available 24/7 but my past experiences with those help lines haven’t been the best. It’s almost like I have the dream that somebody will just come pick me up and take me into inpatient where I can actually get all the help I need but instead they suggest I watch a funny movie to distract myself from my dark thoughts. I know there’s only so much others can do but it’s so hard 😞 

Thank you for taking the time to respond! I hope you’re staying safe. 

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I have know 2 people who have committed suicide. One person was in his 30s and said he had no friends and felt all alone. The other person was going through a terrible divorce and could not take the stress. I have had some and still have actual health issues. I find it difficult to cope at times. I have tried to develop a support group of friends and family. I also have excellent doctors. I say to myself I can't quit and this is especially true when I feel at my worst. I have been in pretty bad pain, in the ER, hospitalized for 6 days once, etc. It was no fun to say the least. However, I did not give up and that is the key. In fact that is the key to life in general I have found. 

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Hey! I have recently joined this and I feel like talking to people who are suffering. I had the same feelings 4 months back and it was driving me crazy. I always use to sleep and wake-up with the thought of killing myself. I feel like nothing can work until and unless you decide to love yourself. I had been to many psychiatrists amd they use to give me medications for easy sleep and stress free day but didn't cure my depression. It was me who decided to fought for myself. For me it was very important to Identify the cause of depression.  https://mangoclinic.com/unpopular-facts-about-depression/ I use to think I have depression of umknown reason but no I was wrong. I identified the things bothering me and I started avoiding them. This is not a one-two days rapid  procedure but it took months. Pease skip your suicidal thoughts and see around you. Life is so beautiful. Live it for yourself. 

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Hi. Nat. These sort of thoughts I suggest we all have had, if only in fleeting moments. Depression can exaggerate such thoughts. Jessica is right. For any effect there must be a cause.  It's getting to the root cause of the problem that is so difficult. Depression and anxiety in general are very complex subjects. It's why one to one counselling is so helpful. If we have suffered a trauma of some sort, then depression may follow. Bereavement, a divorce or a financial loss can upset us. Some are more prone to depression than others. They seem to be wired differently. But I have found that very often those who suffer depression are often more sympathetic, even empathetic to others.  Great men and women have suffered from depression. Winston Churchill's 'Black Dog' is a good example.

Anti depressants help, but they are not a cure. The root cause needs to be found. Look at your lifestyle. What should I be doing that I'm not? What am I doing that I shouldn't? We have to be honest with ourselves and see ourselves for what we are. Robbie Burns, the great Scottish poet said, 'Would the good Lord the giftie gie us, to see ourselves as others see us'. Shakespeare also said. 'unto thyself be true, or thou canst not be true to any man'. 

Dorothy Rowe wrote many books on depression. (Available on Amazon). She talked of a prison with an open door. But we would rather stay in prison, it's safer there. The old warden brings food and water and we can feel less pain.  Going out through the open door means taking responsibilities and making hard decisions. Why do that when we are so comfortable in prison? 

Depression can so often be a means of escape from all the problems we face as humans. Sensitive people are more prone to depression than the hard nosed ones. They care more, and disturbing things upset them. 

Take it easy and try and relax into 'IT' rather that fighting  and struggling against 'IT'. 

Best wishes.        John.

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Just want to thank everyone who took the time to answer. I’m still struggling big time but trying my best. 

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