Mole scaring me

[Maria1870 0]

My anxiety is through the roof. Like can't eat can't sleep feeling nauseous about to throw up. I've had this mole for 2 years, tried removing it myself when I first noticed it (cause I'm dumb) anyway it scabbed and grew back. I left it alone until June 2019 I scratched my back and knicked it. It bled scabbed and returned to the way in normally looked, maybe a little darker. I went to a gp, he looked at it and said it was small and melanoma usually have very sharp edges and mine didn't look too sharp and he thinks it looks fine and the darker pigment is probably because I scratched it off. It doesn't look to have grown, doesn't itch hurt bleed or bother me in anyway other than it's existence. I should also mention that I rub it constantly to see if I feel any pain. 

Today I looked and it seems to have two little spots in it. I'm out of my mind. Can't stop crying. I have 2 kids I need to be strong for. 

[lofwyr 215]

I am no derm, but it looks normal to me. If that one is dodgy, I am a walking dead man.

[Maria1870 0]

12 minutes ago, lofwyr said:

I am no derm, but it looks normal to me. If that one is dodgy, I am a walking dead man.

It's those 2 dots in the middle of it that are scaring the hell out of me. I'm Hispanic and I know melanoma is pretty rare in us. But I can't stop thinking. Even when I try to put it in the back of my mind and tell myself it's just my anxiety I always end up googling and scaring myself. I have kids 11 and 5 and my biggest fear is leaving them. I'm so scared I'm making myself sick. 

[Maria1870 0]

Do moles have pores? I know I have some pretty big pores in my back... Maybe that's what I'm seeing? 😭

[Sallyhart 16]

Hi Maria I had 2 moles which I thought were odd. They were fine but I did go to the dermatologist and not my GP about them. He knew straight away. We all have odd looking moles of differing colours and shapes and people without HA will not even bother with something we would. For us HA's, IMO, the only way to stop the worry is to see the doctor that specialising in your condition, be it IBS, heart palps, chest pain, skin issues etc. I would go to your derm just for peace of mind as this will not leave your thoughts until you do, I am saying that not because I think it looks odd or anything because I couldn't tell one odd mole from another! I am saying that so you get peace of mind.

[Maria1870 0]

11 minutes ago, Sallyhart said:

Hi Maria I had 2 moles which I thought were odd. They were fine but I did go to the dermatologist and not my GP about them. He knew straight away. We all have odd looking moles of differing colours and shapes and people without HA will not even bother with something we would. For us HA's, IMO, the only way to stop the worry is to see the doctor that specialising in your condition, be it IBS, heart palps, chest pain, skin issues etc. I would go to your derm just for peace of mind as this will not leave your thoughts until you do, I am saying that not because I think it looks odd or anything because I couldn't tell one odd mole from another! I am saying that so you get peace of mind.

Yes I've already made an appointment with a dermatologist, even though gp said it looks fine I cant stop thinking about it. I'm scared. 

[MobileChucko 23]

Hi Maria...  I'm glad to hear that you made an appointment with a dermatologist.  Skin is their avenue of care, and as Sally said, hopefully the derm will give you the peace-of-mind that you deserve.  Most of us have moles.  The average person with fair skin will develop around 30 of them in their lifetime, but there are people out there that can have hundreds.  Moles are nothing more than skin that has grown in a cluster rather than normally spreading-out.  Moles tend to darken with sun exposure, and in women, during pregnancy.  Let us all know here on your post, what your derm has to say.  The very best to you, Maria!...  Chuck🐈

[bin_tenn 1252]

1 hour ago, Maria1870 said:

It's those 2 dots in the middle of it that are scaring the hell out of me. I'm Hispanic and I know melanoma is pretty rare in us. But I can't stop thinking. Even when I try to put it in the back of my mind and tell myself it's just my anxiety I always end up googling and scaring myself. I have kids 11 and 5 and my biggest fear is leaving them. I'm so scared I'm making myself sick. 

It looks like a classic benign mole to me, but I'm not educated or trained in any way to provide an actual diagnosis. Even if I was, I couldn't do it over the internet. 😛 But yeah, I think it looks just fine. Those two dots in the middle mean nothing, IMO. From what I understand, from back when I used to read about this stuff (I was obsessed with it myself), benign moles can have different colored dots in them. The key is whether or not those dots are normal for you / that particular mole. Moles aren't always perfectly symmetrical, uniform in color, shape, size, etc. I have a few that look like this, and some that look even more different. I've never been to a dermatologist, but they haven't changed.

Change (also referred to as evolution) is one of the primary causes for concern, I believe. If a mole is changing, it is suspicious; but even then it's most often benign. Our bodies change as we age, and moles are not excluded. If it's not growing rapidly, itching, bleeding, oozing, etc, I think it's fine. But please do let your dermatologist take a look and confirm that.

Let us know how that goes!

[Maria1870 0]

Thank you! I hate Google. I've become so obsessed with skin. I literally look at everyone's moles, I see these girls in the pool at my appointment almost everyday sun bathing and I'm like "what's wrong with you!!!" Even if this mole turns out to be perfectly fine (and I'm praying really hard it does) I would love for my dermatologist to cut the stupid thing right off so I never have to see it again.