Overbearing Subconscious Power

[adamden 58]

So as you guys have been able to tell, I haven't really been posting about my own anxiety battle and concerns recently. That's because for the last three weeks to a month, I feel like I've made a drastic improvement in my anxiety. It's been months since I've had a panic attack, it's been months since I've actually felt anxious mentally. 

 

But I'm still not 100%. 

 

Recently, I've noticed that some of my older symptoms, physical symptoms that is, are coming back. Especially my urinary incontinence. Just these past few days, I've had more incontinence episodes than I've had in previous weeks, and it's starting to become an issue again. My muscle twitches in my legs have become more persistent in certain positions, but overall, the twitches are becoming more aggressive, but last for short amounts of time. My migraines have been on and off, actually vomited this morning as a result of one, but I was able to get it cleared up and have been fine the rest of the day. Other than today, whenever I've felt one coming on, I've just taken the naproxen, and it's stopped it from happening. I'm also still not able to put as much weight in my legs as I want, which is putting a lot of strain on my arms when I'm trying to get in cars and transfer to different places other than my wheelchair.

 

I've had every medical test under the sun done. X-ray (normal), CT scan (normal), EKG (normal), bloodwork (all labs normal despite high cholesterol, it runs in the family LOL), urine test (two urine tests I've taken have come back clear), pulmonary function studies (lungs have improved), ultrasound of bladder, kidneys and prostate gland (according to urologist, all is normal), thyroid ultrasound (both nodes still remain benign). 

 

What confuses me about all these physical symptoms that I am experiencing is that they are still present despite my anxiety being at a true non-existent state. All these symptoms that I am experiencing were not around before this anxiety started. All these symptoms started when the anxiety started. We've obviously considered the possibility that it is just the "perfect storm" of timing, and these don't correlate with the anxiety at all, but it really is hard to think it isn't from the anxiety when these symptoms weren't happening when I didn't have anxiety.

 

My therapist, family, and I have talked about the way that the subconscious works, and how it is possible that it is still continuing anxiety and its symptoms even though I may not feel anxious. I've always been told how there is ways to control my subconscious, but truly, I still feel like I can't tap into my subconscious, and say, "Hey, I'm OK. I'm not in any danger."

 

Do you all think that it is truly possible that my subconscious is still manipulating me and causing these symptoms? What can I do to tap into it and get these symptoms reduced? Is there anything I may be missing here? I appreciate all y'all's advice in advance!

[Holls 1505]

Ok...I agree that you are doing better and I have noticed. But you have still had some anxiety that was less than a month ago... But remember that even when you don't feel anxious the symptoms can still linger. It takes awhile for your body to truly calm down. When I had twitches I would get so frustrated when I would have two days of no anxiety but my calves were like jumping beans. Then I would get anxious and they kept jumping.. even small amounts of adrenaline rushes can keep it all going. It takes my body a good week or two with no worry and then my symptoms subside. My buzzing thigh lasted for months. I seriously didn't think that was ever going to stop. Hugs. Give your body some time to catch up. 

You've gotten the all clear from your testing so take a deep breath and say screw you anxiety, I feel you but I don't care. (I talk shit to my anxiety lol 😅 it helps. )

[adamden 58]

Thanks for your reply Holls. That appears to be a common trend I'm seeing with people who have suffered with anxiety at some point in their lives.

Unfortunately, woke up again with a migraine headache, and threw up the naproxen that I tried to take before the headache got bad. And I had more incontinence this morning.

If things don't get better today, then I'm gonna go to the ER, but if they stay fine for the day, I'll just follow up with the urgent care doctor that I saw last week once they have availability tomorrow.

[Holls 1505]

3 hours ago, adamden said:

Thanks for your reply Holls. That appears to be a common trend I'm seeing with people who have suffered with anxiety at some point in their lives.

Unfortunately, woke up again with a migraine headache, and threw up the naproxen that I tried to take before the headache got bad. And I had more incontinence this morning.

If things don't get better today, then I'm gonna go to the ER, but if they stay fine for the day, I'll just follow up with the urgent care doctor that I saw last week once they have availability tomorrow.

I'm sorry you are experiencing migraines. They are really rough. Yes I'd go back to get something else that might work better for them. Hugs. Keep us posted. 

[adamden 58]

1 hour ago, Holls said:

I'm sorry you are experiencing migraines. They are really rough. Yes I'd go back to get something else that might work better for them. Hugs. Keep us posted. 

Will do. I sent an appointment request with the urgent care, so hopefully should hear back from them early tomorrow morning.

[adamden 58]

Alright..... we might be getting somewhere folks.

After waking up with YET ANOTHER MOTHER(CUSS WORDS GALORE) MIGRAINE this morning IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AT 3:00AM (can't you tell I'm having a grand ol' time ), I decided to call the pediatrician that prescribed me the Prozac, and she thought it might be time to change my medication to see if that truly is what is causing the migraines. She is gonna switch me to 25mg of Sertraline.

My dumb hypochondriac mind is saying what if serotonin syndrome happens because I'm upping the dose? Anyone have any advice on that? Could anyone please share their experience with Sertraline?

Also, urgent care never got back to my request for my appointment, so I'll call them tomorrow. Luckily, I was fine the entire day today. 

[Iugrad91 501]

Doses of different meds are different. For one anxiety med 5mg might be enough, for another you may need 50mg. 25mg of Sertraline is the lowest dose they start you off at and you can go up to around 150-200mg I believe, if needed. I was in pharmaceutical research for many years so I have good knowledge of these drugs. I actually worked on the Sertraline project for a while 😊.

[adamden 58]

2 hours ago, Iugrad91 said:

Doses of different meds are different. For one anxiety med 5mg might be enough, for another you may need 50mg. 25mg of Sertraline is the lowest dose they start you off at and you can go up to around 150-200mg I believe, if needed. I was in pharmaceutical research for many years so I have good knowledge of these drugs. I actually worked on the Sertraline project for a while 😊.

I had a feeling that was the case, but hey, what do I know LOL?

Never knew you worked in that field! That's super cool! 

[adamden 58]

Wish me luck everyone. Beginning my Sertraline today since it is ready.

[bin_tenn 1252]

53 minutes ago, adamden said:

Wish me luck everyone. Beginning my Sertraline today since it is ready.

Good for you. My oldest daughter takes Sertraline 100mg once a day. It works well for her (depression / anxiety).

[adamden 58]

10 minutes ago, bin_tenn said:

Good for you. My oldest daughter takes Sertraline 100mg once a day. It works well for her (depression / anxiety).

Awesome! I’ll be taking 25mg once daily, so I’m hoping it gets rid of these side effects I’m experiencing.

[adamden 58]

UPDATE: Took the sertraline at 4:00pm, and so far, no side effects after a few hours. Hopefully it stays that way

[adamden 58]

Alright.... it’s progress. Not the perfect definition of progress, but progress nonetheless. I’ll explain.

Took the first dose of sertraline yesterday at 4:00pm. No severe side effects. Always a good sign. 

Kinda had a hard time sleeping last night, fell asleep at 11:00pm, woke up at 12:30am. Took me an hour to finally fall back asleep at 1:30am, woke up at 7:30am. Not bad.

Woke up feeling great. No headache. Felt great. And then the headache came. I thought “oh hell, here we go again”.

Well, it actually ended up not being too bad. Had the headache come on and off, but my body fought it off before it got to the point of making me nauseous and sick, or even dry heaving for that matter.

Decided to take a nap to get rid of it once and for all, and it worked.

So.... Progress! Second dose of sertraline is now in my system. Let’s hope things keep getting better.

[Holls 1505]

That's good news. I'm glad it's working. 😘🥰

[adamden 58]

4 hours ago, Holls said:

That's good news. I'm glad it's working. 😘🥰

Always appreciated. 

[Iugrad91 501]

You are obviously very aware of your sensations, but beware of judging every single feeling you have as good or bad. Sometimes sensations just happen and not labeling them and letting them be is one way to release yourself from so much of the anxiety you feel. I just don’t want you to feel anxious one day and think, uh oh, the meds aren’t working! and get into a negative mindset about your treatment. Same with your headaches. When a feeling comes on just be with it and tell yourself you know what to do and then do it (take a nap, take migraine med, etc) Not every sensation needs analysis and a reason for happening, most just happen because we’re human.

[adamden 58]

Still a work in progress it appears....

Headaches have been worse today, and I mean, much worse. Woke up at 12:30am with my first, had a few different ones come on and off through the night, and then they continued to persist into the morning. One got so bad I started dry heaving, but nothing came up. After that, everything’s been fine. No headache since.

Took the sertraline earlier today to see if that’ll help with the sleeplessness at night and also just to get back to a morning routine with that....

Me right now: 

[adamden 58]

Well y’all, I come to you with great news.

Woke up and have been going about my day migraine-free! I had a few headaches pop up during the night, but they were less severe, and did not keep me up much. Super happy that we keep progressing!

[adamden 58]

Hope everyone’s doing well. Just wanted to give an update.

Made a trip to the ER today as the headaches, nausea, and vomiting all returned Saturday and today. They’ve been very inconsistent, having not happened on Friday and Sunday, but happening Saturday and today. I finally decided enough was enough. I needed to get this figured out.

Well..... i sorta got it figured out. Not really.

Doctor I saw in the ER said I do not have migraines, just chronic tension headaches, as I’m not having any symptoms other than the headache that relate to the migraine. No scans were ordered because of the inconsistency of the headache. No triggers have been found. So.... yeah. 🥺

Doc prescribed me gabapentin and zofran to use for the headache to replace the naproxen. So I guess that’s where I’ll go for now.