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Hi everyone, i have had every form of OCD under the sun but my most recent one has without been my most crippling. I have started to obsess over having intrusive thoughts in my sleep and acting out on them since I will be not in control of my body. I do not know entirely whether someone remains a degree of control but I am worried that I have thought about the issue so much that it is ingrained in my subconscious and will therefore think of it in my sleep and carry out the thoughts which is the last thing I want to happen. Even typing this now sounds ridiculous, especially considering that i have little history of sleepwalking. I sleptwalked once or twice as a child and that's about it but you know what OCD is like, I find myself constantly mentally reviewing whether this could actually happen. A good few hours of each day is taken up with seeing how plausible it is that I could do something so horrible in my sleep and it is this mental checking that is really getting me down. Its gotten to the point where it has taken over my life and I'm really struggling to cope. Its just the fear of not being aware of what I'm doing while asleep which is really getting to me. I just cannot imagine doing something so out of character while i'm asleep and it stresses me out. Its been made worse by researching online (another compulsion alongside the mental checking) and finding some articles that OCD is linked to sleepwalking and that some people act on their worries while asleep as their morals and judgement are asleep. I have also come across cases where people have actually harmed themselves or others in a sleepwalking state, however a lot of previous cases seem to point to walkers being startled or having night terrors, hence the violence.  I have got an appointment with a GP this week due to the fact that its interfered so much with my life to the point I'm actually afraid to go to bed. I guess i'm just wondering if anyone has gone through the same thing and if so how they are coping with it? 

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Wow!!! This is the same thing I’m going through- curious how things are going? I literally google this every night and then think “omg now I’m thinking about it before bed and I can dream about it... what if I sleep walk?” 

 

IT IS TERRIBLE 

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I had this really badly when I was newly post partum. I’m a year out now and I still worry about it. My anxiety get super high and then i overly worry about sleepwalking and killing someone. I'll go as far as hiding knives or putting something noisy that would wake me up around something that is “dangerous” (however, when you think about it, almost everything could be a murder weapon). It’s exhausting! 

Know you are not alone. And yes, this is hell. 

I know for me the Internet is a trigger. So I stay off of medical websites and news websites that talk about whatever I’m obsessing over. (I try to). 

Annnd then, meditation, vitamins, minerals, Epsom salts, etc have all helped. Diffusing lavender seems to help too. 

 

I try to self talk too. I sleptwalked once as a child. Never again. So the fear isn’t sleepwalking, but murdering my family while sleepwalking and ultimately diminishing my life value. (I.e., losing everyone I love and spending my life in prison). And I know I would never consciously murder my family. Then I think about the fear again. I talk to myself about how ridiculous it is and how it won’t happen. I practice more mindfulness and try to trust myself and my core values. 

 

after-all, this fear doesn’t align with my core values and  is just that... a fear. 

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