Why can’t I get over this ALS fear? (Trigger warning)

[Jremtx 121]

I’ve been twitching since last year and I’m pretty sure I’ve twitched before that just never really honed on it until, 2 months ago a guy from my old high school died from ALS. I googled and yup the first symptom was twitching. Sent me to an anxiety hole.

First I noticed every time I laid down my back would constantly twitch, I would get no sleep at all for that first month. Went to see a doctor and said it was just anxiety, (I felt relieved for a day) then I had a panic attack and went to the ER. The docter talked to me and explained it’s anxiety again. They gave me Ativan and crazy enough the back twitches went away. 

So In November just like any HA user I focused on my left leg cause that’s where most of my twitches were at. I freaked out because it feels weak and I theres always a lot of pressure on my knee cap. I noticed I felt uncomfortable standing for a long time, but when I walked around or run it would go away. Went to the docter and she explained it’s my anxiety and that my left leg would just need to stretch it out. (I did tell her at my job it requires us to stand up for a long time and I always lean on my dominant side which is my right.) I explained to her about my ALS fear and she explained

“I would know if you had ALS, you don’t.  It’s typical In older people. I can’t say you’ll never get it. But right now you don’t have it.”

(when I went to the docters they tested my reflexes and strength twice and they didn’t need me to see a neurologist)

i understand she can’t say “you’re never going to get ALS cause that’s false information. So I was okay for a few weeks, I then got a new job more of labor job where I clean apartments. I climb ladders, I bend over, squat, carry multiple things. I even went to a party and I was even dancing. 

But for some reason I can’t get ALS out of my mind. I’m scared to get out of bed sometimes. I’m scared to stand for a long time. I just want to get over this fear. I am on Zoloft, it’s been almost 2 weeks but idk I still feel anxiety and depression. Help me please. 

[collegelady 3]

My first post on here was about ALS, so I can share how I got over it. For me, I felt really weak in the hands and legs, and my hands were shaking a lot. I was told to do activities that reminded your body that you're okay. I walked up and down 6 flights of stairs and I did some lifts with my 25 lb kettle bell to show my body that I'm okay.

Someone told me there's perceived weakness and actually being weak and that's what got through to me. I know you didn't mention weakness, just twitching, but please remind yourself that someone with ALS cannot climb ladders, squat, bend over, carry multiple things, or dance. The muscles would physically fail at doing these activities. And the symptoms of ALS don't come and go, they are constant and they get worse. 

In my experience, constantly reminding myself of this and doing my usual activities helped. Maybe it can for you too.

I hope this helps!

[Jae 211]

@Jremtx

What is is that you need to hear to lay your fears to rest? 

 

[Jremtx 121]

@Jae honestly a EMG would rest my mind. But I also read things that say it would only make your anxiety worse. My docters didn’t refer me to a neurologist so I tell myself “why should I want a emg?” Idk Jae I just hate that I’m scared of life now. 

[Jremtx 121]

Just wan to mention 2 docters checked my reflexes and strength. Omg I sound so crazy. 

[Jae 211]

5 minutes ago, Jremtx said:

 Omg I sound so crazy. 

If it were me posting, what would you tell me? How would you convince me that I'm ok ?

[Jremtx 121]

@Jae I would say you already went to the docters multiple times. They tested you and didn’t refer you to a neurologist. That’s a good thing! Twitches are normal they can happen for multiple reasons or no reasons at all. If you can do labor jobs and dance and do normal things with out any failure l, you are okay. 

[Jae 211]

2 minutes ago, Jremtx said:

@Jae I would say you already went to the docters multiple times. They tested you and didn’t refer you to a neurologist. That’s a good thing! Twitches are normal they can happen for multiple reasons or no reasons at all. If you can do labor jobs and dance and do normal things with out any failure l, you are okay. 

But ... what if I'm one of the unlucky ones?   What if my doctor is missing something?  

[Jremtx 121]

@Jae I honestly don’t know. 

[Jremtx 121]

@Jae what is your point? 

[Jae 211]

1 hour ago, Jremtx said:

@Jae what is your point? 

I pulling at your rational mind, trying to get it to be front and center. 

You're currently being controled by anxiety... not ALS. 

[Jremtx 121]

@Jae thank you I know what your saying is true and idk why I can’t just accept the fact. I keep on checking my strength here and there. I also have a job opportunity to leave to another city but my anxiety is making me not want to go. Thinking something is going to happen to me. I just wish I can start thinking positive again.