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after my first panick attack, intrusive thoughts about harming loved ones developed which used to panick me many times a day. To overcome i did self study, exercise, good food, meditation,. Then such harming thoughts dissappeared and came another feeling of sadness and feeling like crying. I still have that crying feeling sometimes which i can stop by breathing. But what really matters me these days is, WHAT IF ONLY OUR BELIEF RUNS THE HUMAN LIFE? IF YES, IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE ALL HUMAN BEING LIFE IS FAKE. WE ARE STILL WILD ANIMAL WHO CAN HARM ANYTHING ANYTIME. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS STOPPING US FROM NOT DOING HARM? When my fear is over, i dont even care if this thought arise. But if i stick long time on this thought i panick again. To calm myself, i just surrender this thought to god and it gives me peace. However the rush of adrenaline during this panick is so overwhelming that those who have panick attack can understand me clearly. I even accept the thought fully to let it pass through my mind everytime i panick, but it still panicks me again and again. guys please tell me if my thought is realistic or am i still in vicious cycle of anxiety? is my anxiety making me to ask such question. My conscious mind still tell me not to waste time in this thought. If it is true that, i am underestimating the reality of fundamental existence of life in earth by bringing such stupid thoughts as mentioned above, please guide me.
Hello all again. I really am sorry to sound like a "broken record" repeating myself but, im really starting to feel like im in a balance between controlling my anxiety and feeling like im loosing my mind. So lately the past few days haven't been as bad as they could be. Heck I was actually feeling pretty happy at points through the day today and yesterday. Heres the thing anytime I start to feel good and overpower the anxiety I just start thinking "bad" things and scare myself back to where I was. Like a few hours ago I was feeling pretty happy looking forward to the weekend and finished some jobs around my house. Then im lying in bed and I start thinking things like "am I really feeling right?" or a new though that's got me going the past few days is "Im 18 I don't have a job im not in school so what am I going to do with my life?" then the "you only live for so long" thought pops in and I just loose it. Like full on burning sensation shaking sweating panic attack. . Why does thinking of what I want to do with my life scare me so bad? I have a lot of different career paths im trying to choose but I keep thinking im gonna choose the wrong one and not be happy with my career down the road. These thoughts on top of the health related ones and me looping the thought has been making panic attacks pretty strong. So I can say I did have a decent day today as I was able to get out and do things but once I start thinking these thoughts that's it I just lost control and its scary. I keep thinking im gonna be like this all my life and not be able to get out and go places or anything. Like this weekend Im supposed to go enjoy some delayed 4th of july fireworks with my 9 year old nephew and I just keep thinking about how im gonna be out of my house for to long and have lots of anxiety because of my overthinking and stuff. Anyways Im trying to take control of anxiety instead of vise versa. I OWN my brain and right now Anxiety and Panic are just co-owners and im about to lay them off. Im just sick and tired of living my life like this. Anyways sorry for another long rant but it really feels good to let it out. Thanks for reading in advanced. Also missed my med today so I may be feeling something from that.
Hello all my name is James. And I would like to introduce myself to these forums in hope of shedding some light on an ever growing anxiety issue I have had for years. I have had severe social anxiety since I was a child. Missed lots of school and social gatherings and going into crowds due to it. My parents used to fight a lot as well and I have had several traumatic experiences and due to that I think I have PTSD. I also have sever OCD so I am always thinking about horrible things non stop without relief. I have had panick attacks in the past but ever since recently around this january I smoked pot for about a week and stopped due to horrible experiences. Ever since then I have had serious anxiety because of a bad bad trips I had with pot. I have had lots of anxiety and always think I'm still high and there's something medically wrong with me or my brains messed up like a stroke or something. I do have a horrible eating habit as I am overweight and consume everything but healthy stuff. I also don't eat meat so are there any proteins or supplements that could help with this I have multi vitamin and vitamin B-12 should I take them? Also what could I use for my severe anxiety and sleeping disorder at night like medicine like sleeping pill? I've been feeling very "numb" and rubbery with tingling weakness the last few months and I think it's due to the anxiety. Also lately since a few days ago I have had serious trouble sleeping. Unlike usual how I have bad nights I almost haven't slept at all. It started a few nights ago when I woke up and starting panicking almost non stop for a whole day. Went to the hospital to make sure nothing was wrong and then came home relaxed and meditated and had the longest night I have ever had. What felt like a whole night was an few hours when I looked at the clock. Finally although exhausted and weak still the next day I got the panic attacks to subside but my thoughts didn't. I think those rubbery numb feelings I get are from panic attacks and anxiety. Anyways I'm very eager to get some helpful input. I am about to go see my therapist and counselor for the second and first time next month. I hope they can help. Sometimes I feel as if I'm dying and have nowhere to turn. Speaking of panic attacks today was another bad one. Last night I had something happen that triggered my anxiety (I though I was bleeding internally) and bam I've been panicking on and off all day and barely slept last night so it was a horrible day. Felt like crap and just can't seem to sleep. Anyways I know this is an intro and that's a lot for an intro but I'm at a loss as to what to do. I feel like the walking dead anymore with the little sleep I get and the panic attacks make me feel like I AM dying. So any input is greatly appreciated and I hope you all understand I am just genuinely scared. Thanks