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This is the first forum ive ever been on, day by day my anxiety and its symptoms have gotten worse, I am 21 years old and suffering from a very bad case of everything. I had a anxiety attack a month or so ago and have had a bad case of depersonilization, ive had this before at 16 but it went away, now it is back and worst than before. Ive also developed new anxiety symptoms both physical and mental, ive had rapid eye movements but they arnt so bad anymore, shortness of breath, fear of a bunch of stuff, the MOST IMPORTANT issue I need help on, is that ive had some pretty dark invasive thoughts such as when picking up a baby, (throw it) other things on that line, racist slurs in my head when looking at the opposite color, things that are nothing like me, I'm a super nice person, I want to help people as a job one day, and thoughts like this are scaring me and above all that, I've been having very delusional thoughts such as ive been seeing 66 lately the number and I instantly think that I'm about to be possessed by the devil with super bad dreams as well, or every little thing that usually means nothing gets me thinking it means something more, and sometimes I even know its BS but I still keep thinking about it like its really happening or going to, like when I googled seeing numbers, someone said that people who see numbers got abducted by aliens, and so even for a breif moment I accepted it as that, I feel like I'm going to lose my mind and be in the looney bin, thinking about my future with my GF or future job is impossible now, wondering if in a year or so ill be completely delusional. My thoughts seem to be getting more and more crazy by the day and sometimes I even believe them, ...someone please explain this too me.

Hey, I'm Health Anxiety Nut. I'm currently going through some issues with my breast, as the title would imply. A little over a month go I switched PCP's, due to the 3 month long waiting period for a regular appointment as well as a 1 month long urgent appointment. This PCP also canceled appointments on me quite a bit as well. Thus led me to find a new doctor who ran her own practice with other doctors and had a walk in policy. Yay right? So onto the main story, I have been having issue with my left breast (I'm male by the way). My nipple has changed color, texture, sensitivity, and would constantly be hard. Now normally my nipples would be flat, and pink and fine. No... not this one. It's leathery, hard, dark brown, puckered in and just painful. So I took initiative and talked to my new doctor about it, who then so promptly freaked out. She scheduled an urgent ultrasound for the next day in the morning, then goes on that men can get breast "C" too. ban What am I thinking at that moment?! "Omg, this is it." Once I left I preceded to break down in the driver seat of my car for about two hours while Googling at the same time. Such... a bad idea. The next morning I brought my aunt with me to the Ultrasound to have some support. Her kind words were "You're young! I don't think things can happen like this to young people." The ultrasound technician was nice, and did not hold any concern to what was going on. But the gel irritated my breast, and my nipple to the point where no bandage big enough could calm this down. So many different symptoms came after that, itching, burning, hardness, skin changes, my breast was easily bigger then the other, and the skin on the outside was rough as well. The technician told me that my results should be in by the next day, I heard nothing till about a week later. All clear! yay! Why so late? Doctor was on vacation. Today my doctor gave me a call and told me, "Even though everything is clear? I still don't like your symptoms and I don't like what I saw. I wouldn't be too worried." So I asked if this is an urgent matter. She then preceded to tell me, "Yes, because that means you could have "C" in your nipple. I'm sending you to a breast specialist. Come in tomorrow to get your referral." Now with me in such a tizzy I ask her if I should be concerned? She then begins to tell me, "I don't think so, but things do happen to people like yourself." After that I began full panic mode. I haven't touched google, but that call was not a great help either. I know I shouldn't worry since I'm only 22, male and no family history of basically any "C". But then again "C" knows no boundaries. I'm new, and that's what is going on. Any ideas on trying to calm myself would be wonderful. Thanks for reading.