Topher Burns

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  1. Hey there again Brit. I understand. It's sound very harsh what those other people are doing, but understand that they are only doing it because of habits and the habits of others. It's not that they don't like you, it's just because their other friends are around more. You mentioned your friend ended up leaving. That sucks ?. I'm really sorry. You need to get back up and try again. The key to making friends is consistency. You almost have to just be around a lot until people are comfortable seeing you frequently. If your looking to meet new people it's best to have an event, like a Meetup or a school activity, and go to it on a schedule. Find something local and just stick with it, even if you don't think other people like you, which is most likely untrue, you should stay and try to get involved. Give your opinion and show people you want to be a part of something and they will make you a part of it. If you can, try to find a book about being social. There's a I like called How to Talk to Anyone, and also another one called Crucial Conversations. They teach you to turn a conversation around and gain confidence. Don't give up. I think you're doing great.
  2. Hey there Wheelie24, How are you doing today? Well, I hope. It sounds like you are definitely struggling in your current situation. I also have GAD, however, I haven't had an attack at all this year and i will get one about once a year. I would like to give you some advice if I could. I'm going to tell you some things you already know. Basically, you're afraid and you're unsure of what is causing your panic attacks. The problem is with GAD you stop being afraid of that one thing and suddenly the problem is panic attacks in general. You avoid places, or activities, in which you might have had one in the past. This is normal. There is nothing wrong with how your body is reacting to this sickness. Now, medication is a great way to figure out how your body works, but understand only you can fix yourself. This is what a psychiatrist is for. They don't really do much but help you challenge yourself and ask the right questions to move forward. Remember a panic attack is all in your head and you need to try to remember that during a panic attack. That's very hard, I know, but you can do it. So, let me ask you some questions... How is your breathing? Are you aware that 65% of people do not breathe correctly? Try doing some research on Belly breathing. It will help you slow your heart rate during a panic attack. Did you know your mind is like a muscle and will get better at what it does if you push it towards what you want? Meaning, you can actually get rid of panic attacks by trying to push towards those attacks. The more you observe you came out on the other end alright, the more you won't be afraid of the start.
  3. Hey there Britt, It sounds like you're having a hard time, and I'd like to say that's completely normal. It's not only hard for you to meet and make friends, it is for many, many people. The problem is we don't know if what we are going to say is what the other person wants to hear. in fact, most of us feel like we are not enough on a daily basis. The simple fact is that is not true. You are enough. You're just caught up in self-doubt. I'm an introvert myself, but many of my friends think I'm extrovert. Because I know how to enter any conversation and sound like I know what I'm talking about. I've spent years studying how the mind works and why we are the way we are. It sounds to me like you might murder your roomie lol. Try not to do that But let's try to get you out of the dorm a bit. What are your interests? I know schooling is important, but the social part of your life is also very important. That saying,"It's not what you know, it's who you know" is actually very true. Some other questions. What is it about people you dislike? Don't be shy. No one is going to judge you. Tear them up and if you want me to tell you what I don't like about social interactions and people in general first, just let me know. I hope to hear from you soon.
  4. Hello lonelybird. How are you doing today? Good, I hope. Before I ask a barrage of questions I'm going to just give a bit of information about myself. I'm not an expert, rather I am just a person who was in a position you are in today. I'm 32, and I grew up with depression and anxiety. It didn't really hit me until I was about 18. It was triggered from my attachment disorder that I wasn't aware I had until I tried to leave the country with some friends. Panic attacks were everywhere. I couldn't walk outside without having some sort of breathing problem, or issue. Today, I'm good and I want to help. So, maybe I can give you some advice, or help you cope with how you deal with your agoraphobia? Just ask me anything. I used to smoke weed too. Actually, I still do on very rare occasions. There is a problem with it though. Your brain is craving happiness and is using the dopamine levels to feel that happiness. However, when you come down your levels are exhausted. Cutting back is definitely a good idea. Alcohol is also a problem with it being a depressant and all. It looks like you've identified this as a problem already, though. Excellent. Congratulations on going for a walk. This is a very healthy way to get better. Have you thought about making this a habit? Let me ask you if I might. Why do you dislike people? What is it about them you don't like? Also, Do you believe you have the ability to change? And do you want to? Maybe I can help. There is a way.
  5. Hey there, I'm Topher and I'm 32 years old. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety when I was 18, which lead to me not wanting to leave the house for a long time. As the years went on it didn't get much better. I did end up leaving the house but only for things like work, or doctors appointments. It's odd the way we feel when there is an obligation to do something. That's in the past for me now. I've changed my life completely. Today, I don't want to stay inside. In fact, I get a bit sad when I have nothing to do. My social life is hectic with a new friend every month, at least. I've turned my life around. I want to say this is not an advertisement or any kind. Why would a no longer agoraphobic want to join an agoraphobia forum? Because I know how you feel. I know the anxiety, the depression, the loneliness. I really want to help in any way I can, and this is the best way I know how. By giving advice, encouragement, and general information on what our sickness is. I am a survivor and I want to give hope to people who think there is no hope. I look forward to talking with as many people as I can talk to. See you around.