Seraphim

You like the night more than the day. My days are difficult. More and more i am becoming that way. I have to change because i have to get up at five to go to work at six once again. Its not easy. Especially when you are young. I remember people having a troubled time with this. I understand. I am given a sedative but i can easily overcome it.... like tonight. I feel for your dilemma. 

Thank you Lucid. I am still very emotional but i have noticed unusual behavior where i feel disconnected from the people close to me. I am absent from their troubles when i should be there for them. I have many troubles right now. I mean many or the worst troubles in my life. In the middle of all this is two medicines i am afraid are changing my personality. Klonopin and Geodon. I am worried how they will effect me in the long term. Also, given all my troubles right now I am worried to change anything right now. 

Thank you Lulu. I feel for the pain you are facing. I am on Effexor and i hope it helps me out of this. Klonopin has quelled me from a lot of anxiety i use to have to face. I believe that my ability to regrow the neurons and pathways in my brain to behave the way i use to  might be a long and hurtful process. The fears that i will deal with without these type of medication will envelope me. A lot of fear to face but i have to see what is on the other side. It really worries me what will happen. For five years now i have been without a psychiatrist. Finally i am in a position to have one. I see him next week for the first time. I hope he can give me some clear direction.

Two years ago, for the most part, i had my anxiety controlled with anti-depressants and the support around me. Back then i began having a lot of trouble with anxiety because of very concerning events in my life. My psychiatrist was out of town at that point and his fill in psychiatrist prescribed me Klonopin. I realized in the months to come that i was dependent upon it for control of my anxiety. Today, if i miss a dose anxiety hits me like a freight train. It has helped some of my physiological impairments but for the most part i am still the same person i use to be. I sometimes feel that i might not be growing emotionally while on this drug. I do not like being dependent on it and would like to live life with out it.  Has anyone else gone though a similar situation and if so how are you now?