Twiztidcree

Yeah that sensation it has eased up enough to where I wonder where it went LOL. I am really enjoying the working out just sucks If a attack comes on cue but I push myself through it deal with it later. Just really really getting sick of this.

Yeah it's frustrating quite a lot but sanity and health is more important then a dream right now. One day ( hope soon) I wake up and not feel like i am dreaming or my body left and I'm laying there.

I'm not too sure when how or why I was 17 though when my family assumed I was trying to kill or thinking of killing myself during Xmas holidays. I used to write poetry a lot! Was published a few times at 15 yrs old. Was invited to gathering to accept an award. My poetry was based on people I met, exchanged stories with, seen and my life as a native boy finding my place as a man. My "style" was breath taking from people have said. The very last poem I wrote was that December 22nd 1997 It goes (sorry haven't written in a long time so bare the errors) 1st nights star, My life is a wicked ride with twiztid kind, I'm not a bad guy My last star is when my new life starts. My aunt phoned the police I was Read my rights, handcuffed and charged under the mental health act. I spent 4 hrs in a cell, then spent 6 hrs talking too some dude about how my life was. I told him great, honor student, published poet have my Harvard application because I will be graduating in a year, He asked me what I wanted be, told him I would not mind learning studies in this field actually for mental health, I love science , astronomy, health, medical engineer said anything is possible when your a genius he laughed. He asked if I was poor I told him no, sexual abuse and if I get judged for my long hair? He asked that " poem"so I explained it too him, it wasn't done actually told him I re write a couple times till its real and not just words. He got me to explain word for word which all I said is I am honor student, I put up with racial attacks everyday minute I am bullied because I have girl hair, my mother is a educated woman in engineer, conversation of lands but she works for minimum wage I was trying write out an expression of one day I will end it. Anyways after I was released I walked home, with a police car containing officer following me. That day my life I knew changed, I quit school the next day n was charged for cause of bodily harm on a police officer, the cop who would not listen and yanked my hair I beat him within a few more hits of his life the day after I quit school. I dealt with court walked out with no penalty. After that for this passed year 2011-2012 I believe caused my anxiety in 1997 when I was a teen. I have no educated, no degrees no dreams, only depression and no one to help me, so it sucks lol but I still have laughter.

My sex drive is actually becoming a pain, this passed 2 years my wife and my hands cannot keep up, I get wood a lot. My doctor says its normal, that's cool but it's creeping me out it's worse then when I was a teenager. My ibs has been flared up all week, which feels like a month now. Have been sleeping a lot better 6-10 hours instead of none or 2 hours. I still feel tired though but have energy I body lift and weight train this passed month for 2-4 hrs a day while my kids in school Man, What's causing this feeling of hopeless and sorrow

I want to apologize 1st for a few comments on here that I was harsh on reply, sorry. I logged in while in high attack of fear n flight but fighting, I learnt its a mistake on my end as my brain runs n runs. I am confused as tests bloodwork EKG cats X-ray etc have been done this pain/sensation in my chest feels middle area is almost an everyday thing now. Yesterday n few other times felt as I couldn't breathe or take a deep breathe. In general I feel really good feel healthy feeling alive just no answers from papered doctors about this annoying side effect. Got 3 doctors to make sure no heart or lung problems. Just so frustrated n scared

No worries. Kinda in the same situation but I got kids. Reality is a mean on and it's more twizitid when your anxiety filled

Sorry, but hopefully citaplams work for u I took 10mg n the 3rd I laughed n said down the Lou with you... The drowsiness is normal I slept 20 hrs my 1st pill. I quit meds though, couldn't cope with having repetitive stress n anxiety to be masked by a drug. I began praying n 5-6 months later I've kinda learnt the understandment n power of prayer, I had an attack at 1am it's 2:46am now, prayed calmed down enough to fight nstead of flight n figure I read n post a few on here. With ur meds, no matter the side effects keep at it, they do work a lot. I felt like death for 8 days after that no worries no bothers.

U got kids? Nothing to fret over then U assume he cheats? Leave him 13 months!? Try 11 years! Sorry I'm blunt N if all u do is worry n stress Shut up or get stepping. Been with my wife 11 years, finally expressed I love you, 2 years ago. Love is not ***************

Do u have sinuses ? Fluid in the ears can cause that dizziness also have u tested diabetes 1n2 ? But it's like me I have anxiety symptoms stating I'm having a heart attack or just gonns drop from cardiac arrest. I've been in an ambulance August alone, 15 times, heart attacks run in my family my father died at 28 ( my age) from cardiac arrest. So safer then dead for me. All tests come back for a heavy smoker HEALTHY AS A 16 year old man. Have tested again with X-ray, EKG, MRI cats everything because I cannot figure out why! Physical movement outdoors I'll faint , more then likely my best friend extreme anxiety ! I love that guy NOT.

And for what is godly, don't fall to a mental health worker they only have books n advice not a living explanation..... My child's worker told me my daughter was uhhhhh R*****d, slow and a slow developer I laughed n said explain ... Long story short after the bully was threatened ( sadly by me) my child excelled in class. I told the worker don't worry about a follow up or visits. To insult my child when she was being harassed is uneducated

What's her age? My daughter is 7 n everything exactly the same, what I learnt from this only school time belly ache was your common bully. I left my job when the principal called, noticed right away why does my child have a huge bruise on her arm? They had no answers. Anyways me I have short fuse when it comes to my children Got my daughter to show me who done that and the school counselor had finally told 5 months later my daughter is lunch less , I ask my girl she told me. That child 5 minutes later left my daughter alone. School starts tomorrow, I'm worried as 2 of my kids start tomorrow. Check with a bully? Can also be seperation issues as in not properly socialized, and the normal fear kicks in Also could have butterflies from the crowd n new surrounding. I just hope it is not bully.

Wish I could honestly my anxiety is mainly caused from the wife Thought love was happier then this

Wow I have a late night friend named "brain" Also had the same doses which made me s*****al and s**f h**ming. Brain said quit hurting ur body with those pills. Sickly enough I'd rather deal with an attack then being arrested for s**f h**m on myself an I mean arrested cuffed and thrown in jail till a mental health worker visits. Auto correct it's " Brian not brain" LOL BUT YEAH MAN, inquire about those side effects for those thoughts could be the pill itself, was also on 5mg still had those thought even tied a noose good thing my ears work and my childrens voices bring me to reality.

Hmm I haven't remember the last 5 years of my life Last memory I could remember When my wife chased my daughter up n down the hallway just to beat her for playing in her make-up bag. She ran behind me and I told my wife you hit my child one more time I will beat you till my knuckles break after that I sat here n sat here watching the days move That post traumatic thing ima bring up at the doctor in a few days when my visit for ct scan of my lungs come back ( tested for c****r stuff as due to pain In the chest for the last while)

Anything " round Dance or pow wow" related. Singing helps