I don't know how much information we're supposed to (allowed to?) share, but I'll give you the basics. I'm 23 years old and I've suffered from depression and anxiety since my early teens. I used to be outgoing and I had a lot of friends as a child, but as soon as I turned fourteen, things changed. I (as well as my family) chalked it up as normal teenaged angst, but it wasn't. I gradually stopped socializing and hanging out with my friends. I spent more and more time on the internet, browsing through anything that would distract me from myself. I just wanted to be alone, all the time. As I grew older, it got worse. I stopped leaving my room, unless it was necessary (school, shower, kitchen, etc). I lost a ton of weight, which wasn't overly noticeable, as I was skinny to begin with, but my family definitely noticed that part. I went from being 100 lbs to 85 lbs in a few months. When I graduated high school, I started talking to this guy that I met online and he seemed to suffer from the same symptoms as I did, which I thought was a good thing, but it wasn't. Being with him just ruined any chance I had at fighting through this. It didn't help that he was a manipulative jerk, but that's beside the point. I felt worthless and stupid, and I eventually dropped out of college because I felt insecure and I didn't want to leave my house.
Nothing has changed really. I'm not with that guy anymore, but I feel the same as I did back then. There are days when it's manageable, but it's getting to the point where I can't handle it anymore. I contemplated s****de around 18-20 years old. I'm no longer in that headspace, thankfully, but I do crave some sort escape.
TL;DR - I'm lonely, and I need some positive influences in my life.
