rainbow

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Everything posted by rainbow

  1. thank you for your kind words John. 😊
  2. Hi Everyone, I used to be a member here 5 years ago. I can see alot of changes, but good ones 🙂 I had always wanted to share a success story here, as I used to read them and wish that could be me. I am here to tell you, you can mange your anxiety and depression, I don't think you can cure ANXIETY. That is something every human being is born with, it's just how you handle it. I have had GAD and depression off and on all my life, usually brought on my big stressors in my life, losing my mom suddenly when I was 16, divorce, re-marriage and the latest one was losing my job after being there for almost 17 years. I was bullied out of my job. That itself is a long story. I went into a really dark place, daily tension in my muscles, anxiety attacks, depression, and 2 mental breakdowns.... I think everything I had been through in my life was all coming out.... alot of anger at myself, and other people, scared and fearful of how we would manage with only one income coming in. My whole identity had been that job. When that got taken away from me, I took it really hard. Well I wanted to tell you with trauma therapy, CBT and other things I did, I am in a much better place. The main thing I learned is to accept the ANXIETY, don't be scared of it, sit with it. It will eventually subside...when I look back now, I am so glad I lost my job.. It was a toxic environment, and I only stayed there because I was afraid of change. Now I am doing things that I thought I could never do before, like a talk on local station to address mental issues amongst our community and especially with young people, I have done volunteer work at a local organization that helps people dealing with mental challenges, I am currently writing a short story on my mental health journey. I share all this not to brag but to give you hope that you can get through this with hard work, a supportive network and lastly BELIEVE IN YOURSELF..... I was always looking for a quick fix or seeking reassurance from others. Well let me tell you it doesn't work. The only person who could fix me, was ME... its hard work, and you have to be consistent. I am slowly learning to love myself, and I don't need the approval others anymore, and also speaking up for myself something I could not do for a very long time. Anyways I could go on forever, I just wanted to pop in and say Hello and give hope to those of you who are still struggling. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I consider myself a spiritual person, and when I was in the depths of despair I begged and I mean literally begged God to help me and he did !!! I still have good days and bad days, but life is a journey that will have its up and downs....it's how we choose to deal with these challenges. God bless 🙂
  3. Hi there your not alone. I have been anxious on and off pretty much my while life. Just recovering from another setback. You can get through this.
  4. Hi i had to switch meds as Zoloft was no longer working for me. Please try to get a new psychiatrist if this one is not helping.
  5. Hi there I have chest pains for the last 4 months and I am in my 40's. Like mark said it's just anxiety. I have had every test done under the sun and it's clear it's just anxiety. Sorry about your friend that would definitely add to the anxiety.
  6. Mark is right. I used to Google but I learned from this site never Google your symptoms that will just heighten your anxiety. You said you may have strained your neck cleaning. You have not been sleeping well. Lastly it could just be anxiety.
  7. Aww bterfly ((hugs))....that is hard I can totally relate. I lost my mom too back in 1989 and she was only 47. They say time is the best healer but you never forget the pain of losing your loves one. I pray to God I never have to lose a child and I understand you lost 2 of them. You are a strong women. But know one day you will meet them again. Take care
  8. Hi butterfly my kids are 13 and 10. I wish I could force them down for a nap lol. My therapist taught me a breathing technique a little bit longer than the one i do. She said start out 5 times a day and than build it up to 10. Mark I am just a very sensitive person overall. So when the kids have outbursts or meltdowns. I take on their emotions if that makes any sense. I am working on setting more boundaries with them. Than I was working full time in a toxic work environment. Hubby works late hours. So it was a build up stress and tension. Than I have always been a worry wart. Right now I am on stress leave working on getting myself better to be able to work again. Gilly i do have Epsom salts. I just need to make more time for self care. I think once the kids are back in school. I will have more time for that. How often did you the massage and Epsom salt baths when your tension was really bad ? I saw the signs coming that I was leading to burnout i guess i didn't catch them sooner. Plus I am on new meds which seem to be helping better. But glad to know this is a symptom of anxiety and hopefully it will eventually subside Thanks again for the replies.
  9. Hi sorry I meant I do the progressive relaxation tape at least once a day. Trying to do at least 2 times but hard when i have 2 kids to look after. I will try to do the relaxation techniques more often. I hate this feeling never felt this bad with anxiety before. Thanks for the reply.
  10. Hi there Does anyone experience burning sensation behind their neck and shoulders. This has been going on a for a few months. I know it's stress and tension and some anxiety. I did do massage but it didn't really help. I do try to do progressive relaxation tape at least once a month. But any other suggestions would be helpful and if anyone has this issue or had it and how did it go away. Thanks
  11. Oh sorry lol....i meant what if it's your teen lying to you. Small white lies which can turn into bigger ones. Oh and breaking rules. Right now I am going through anxiety so it's hard when she continues the same behaviours.
  12. Hi E I take .5mg at night to help me sleep. Trying not to use it during the day as it makes me drowsy.
  13. Hmm what if it's your life lying to you arghh......
  14. Hi Emma Sorry your going through a rough time. Yeh I get lonely at times even though 9 have 2 kids but they are 13 and 10 so they more or less wanna hang out with their friends Mom I have a peer mentor who is going to help me once I feel better at looking at a career change. This desk job isn't cutting it for me anymore. I enjoy being around people and helping them. So more of a caring profession where I could help people who have been through mental illness as well. Emma you can pm anytime you feel Ionley or just need to vent.
  15. I had to start using it regularly right now because of high anxiety. I really want to avoid it too makes me drowsy but only way for now I can calm my thoughts. Before I rarely used it. So your not alone
  16. Thanks for your replies. To be honest with you work caused me to have a nervous breakdown. Everyone in our dept hates it there. Yes she has health issues and very moody one day she is so nice the next day she is miserable. Than she has my coworker spying on our work and we are totally micromanaged. Can't ask each other questions. The fact that I know she wants me out doesn't make me feel any better. The amount of work and stress I was dealing with was not worth what I should be paid for being there so long. Finding another job will take time and right now I am struggling with anxiety and depression which makes it even harder to be motivated look. Sorry just rambling on right now.
  17. Thanks Emma....i hate making life changing decisions like this. Just worsens the anxiety. But if I go back my mental well being may just get worse. We shall see
  18. Hi everyone I used to post here alot. Long story short things got really bad at work...toxic work environment and a boss who is trying to get me to quit and playing dirty games . I applied for short term got denied and off work without pay while I appeal. I was not the only she was harassing but I feel like my anxiety and fears get in the way. Now being at home all I am doing is worrying when I havev to go back. This manager has a high employee turnover because she basically is a witch. My hubby feels the stress and pressure will make things worse for me. But being at home has made things worse. I have been with that company 16 years. Longest job I ever held despite my anxiety. I feel like I am letting this job define me. I have 2 beautiful healthy kids and a supportive hubby. But job worry has consumed me. I feel like I have lost my self confidence and self esteem thanks to some of the not so nice things she said when it came to my work. My hubby said quit but we would be very tight on one income and the thought of starting all over again somewhere new scares me. I rarely had to take anti anxiety meds and now I take it every night just so I can sleep. ? I know my dept and the company will be downsizing. I just don't handle change in my life that well... I just needed to vent.
  19. My friend took cipralex for quite some time and she saw a neurologist and there has been some effect to her brain. Maybe check with your doctor if your really concerned.
  20. Hi there to be honest you will have to work really hard on changing your mindset. I am really struggling right now too but if I don't change my thoughts I will continue to stay depressed and helpless. Maybe start brainstorming ideas or set some goals for yourself. So you feel like you can move towards something.
  21. Hi lone I hear you. My anxiety is worse when I wake up. I think it's a combination of work and home stressors that tipped me over the edge . Mostly work really struggling how I am going to go back to a job I hate and manager who makes our lives hell. But I guess this time off will make me decide what to do. I hope we both get over this slump. My anxiety was under control for a good period of time. Take care
  22. Hi lonesailor I haven't been on for a long time but I am going through a big relapse. My toxic work environment and boss was getting to me. I ended up applying for stress leave and now I am worried my manager will make things worse for me when I come back.. My muscles are tense and my stomach in knots. My problem is I can't stay in the present. I guess is folks with anxiety suffer from this. I am mediating every day but it takes time. And hopefully a change in meds will help me too. Take care
  23. Hi there all your symptoms you described are all anxiety related. I have had some of those. My anxiety got worse after my mom died at 16 of a massive heart attack she too was quite young. So it's natural to have that trigger. What helps me now is to challenge my thoughts? Ok my stomach hurts but what evidence is there that it is cancer or any other disease. You are only 28. The doctor has given you the all clear. Take it one day at time. Take care
  24. Hi Emma I too haven't been on here for a long time. But your post could of been written by me. I too am tired of my job been doing the same position for almost 16 years and I think I am bored and need a new challenge. Problem is our company is transitioning out employees and they get preference. Lately my boss has been nitpicking on me and a few others. But it's gotten so toxic....putting pressure on us like we are robots. So because of that I have been making minor errors more than usual. ? I too dread when Sunday rolls around. I can feel the anxiety. I think I need to be bold enough and ask her do you have any positive feedback to offer me? You are lucky your boss seems more supportive. I finally opened up to mine about my anxiety after 15 years of keeping my mouth shut. Doesn't seem to make a difference to her. Hang in there and yes self care is very important for us anxiety folks. At the end of the day we are in control of our own thoughts and emotions but man it can be hard . Take care Amber