Prometheus

As a related note, it is a strong part of Japanese culture to keep things in order. One example is the Tea Ceremony, where everything has to be done just right. The reason for this is that it shows respect and honour. Things are done in certain ways as a nod to ancestry and the preservation of culture. You could think of it as that, except with different values. So, instead of preservation of culture, it could be the preservation of your mind, to keep your mind strong, or it could mean being able to control your surroundings and expressing your value and worth that way.

I'm sometimes the same way. I like things to be neat and organized. If something is out of place, I will know. But the thing is, most of the population has this to some degree and it may not be in the same context as you or I. It might be when they are doing a hobby, that they channel all their obsessive energy into something. For some, it's a way to relieve stress, because they can put their stressful energy into something.

I like this. The physical activity part is very useful. I find that my focus and attention can be totally shifted to the physical activity that I am engaged in. That way, nothing else can occupy my mind. At times, the more physical strength required, the greater this effect and the more useful it becomes. This may be by doing sports or similar activity to doing chores around the home.

That's not a bad idea. Distracting the nagging is a good way to combat it. It serves to neutralize it before it worsens. But, the best way would be a targeted approach, in which to field the combatant head-on. Only in that way, you can muffle it for good, and not push it out of the way temporarily.

The best I find is to give it more negative self-talk. I listen to the nag and try to worsen it even more. The reason for this is that I am demonstrating control. Control becomes power and it means that I have power. Then, I can control it even more by empowering myself and turning the nagging completely around. That way, it turns into empowering self-talk and I overdo it with the positivity and love that I give myself.

Yeah, agoraphobia sucks. It's hard to leave my home sometimes, even though I have to. Then, I end up being late for whatever it is I am supposed to be doing. That is another downside. Then I get back and have to replay situations over and over in my head about what went wrong. It is so limiting to have that, but I have to keep on pushing no matter what feelings I experience.

Worst is probably the breathing. It starts, then the speed of breaths increases. I can feel my heart pounding like it's about to explode, then the breathing gets worse and it kinda feels like I am suffocating, but I am still doing okay. I don't like those feelings and sensations, but I try to control them as best I can.

Sorry to hear about your experience. It is a terrible travesty that there are such uncaring people with so much power. He was probably suffering through most of his life and he wanted to find someone whom he perceived as weak to unleash his anger upon. It is sad that you got caught on the receiving end. But, don't sweat it, life goes on and you have to focus on the good things in your life.

Another thing that you may wish to consider is actively meditating. You can calm yourself down at other times when you are not being examined from the quietness of your room. Think of yourself going on a journey by flight into the clouds where you can control the movement and position of the clouds. Once you are up there, nothing can harm you. Try doing this regularly and you will learn to calm yourself quickly. It will carry over to other aspects of your life.

The best thing to do in that situation is to empower yourself. You have to control your breathing by telling yourself to calm down and to keep breathing. Close your eyes and mentally count to 10. Then count down, but feel each breath as you count back down to 1. Control your breathing and focus on the oxygen entering your nostrils and going into your lungs. Focus on the carbon dioxide that is taken from your alveoli up your pulmonary anatomy and out into the world.