Leah1976

have you ever felt that you are going crazy????

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I am in such a bad spot right now.... I feel like I am going to go crazy.... I am now worried about my daughter's breath smell... how is that possible???? I smell something funky in it and I feel is a sign of something bad.... I make her breath out constantly so I can smell her.... I made her cry this morning... she said mom you are acting weird, what is wrong with you??? this was such an eye opening for me... I think i am loosing it.... I also wake up at night to smell her breathing... it smells a bit different.... I am freaking out.... I don't know how to control this.... my husband is getting worried because I want to brush her teeth and check her breath constantly.... This is not normal.... even for me. Today is my day 4 on lexapro and I am hoping it starts working fast.... please I need your help, anything like this happened to you before? I fee like I have this OCD to check her breath and I don't even know what that smell means.... sometimes it smells like alcohol before she brushes her teeth, but sometimes smells normal. Obviously she doesn't drink, she is 8..... am I going crazy???

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Yes, in anxiety the fear consumes us. It comes at us in all kinds of shapes and forms. We develop phobias (smelling the breath and being obsessive about it, not being able to stop). It is very common to do such things. Anxiety comes with bouts of OCD/phobias for so many of us. 

Rest assured you will get through this. When we are so uncomfortable and scared of course we think we are going crazy/losing it. You are not alone. Nothing is wrong with your daughter or her breath but deep inside you already know that. Try to listen to a meditation video or music every time you get the urge to check her. Once your medicine kicks in things will go more smoothly. 

 

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3 hours ago, MsLLL said:

Yes, in anxiety the fear consumes us. It comes at us in all kinds of shapes and forms. We develop phobias (smelling the breath and being obsessive about it, not being able to stop). It is very common to do such things. Anxiety comes with bouts of OCD/phobias for so many of us. 

Rest assured you will get through this. When we are so uncomfortable and scared of course we think we are going crazy/losing it. You are not alone. Nothing is wrong with your daughter or her breath but deep inside you already know that. Try to listen to a meditation video or music every time you get the urge to check her. Once your medicine kicks in things will go more smoothly. 

 

Thank you so much for your kind words... I am trying to calm myself down but it's hard... i am very vigilant to any "symptom"... OMG how did I go last week from thinking I had stomach cancer, to then thinking my brother has lymphoma (cause he has back pain), to now my daughter having some serious disease?????? I can't live like this anymore.... HA is ruining my life.... 

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@Leah1976 I'm sorry you are going through this. I've done the same with my kids when they were small. Always looking for something. Like you, I've bounced from one disease to another with myself and the kids. Please know your daughter is fine and you will get through this tough time. I feel health anxiety has ruined enjoyment in my life and feel like I was so worried all these years that I didn't enjoy the little things. It's a miserable situation but you are not alone. 

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18 minutes ago, anxiouslisa said:

@Leah1976 I'm sorry you are going through this. I've done the same with my kids when they were small. Always looking for something. Like you, I've bounced from one disease to another with myself and the kids. Please know your daughter is fine and you will get through this tough time. I feel health anxiety has ruined enjoyment in my life and feel like I was so worried all these years that I didn't enjoy the little things. It's a miserable situation but you are not alone. 

Thanks SO much, your note means a lot!!! I know,  when my son was born I was convinced he was autistic.... I couldn't wait until he was 18 months so he could get that test the pediatricians do in the office to rule out austims... and even after the test was fine, I had my doubts, he is 6 years old now and perfectly normal, very smart, but I wasted precious moments with him as a baby worrying about it..... ***sigh*** is like I can't learn my own lesson, why???????????

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Don't beat yourself up. You love your kids and want them to be happy and healthy, that's why we worry about them so much. Mine are now 26 and 20 and I think back to all the crazy things I worried about. The sad thing is bad things do happen and I think those of us with HA want to be so proactive that we derail our own happiness. It's so easy for me to say all this, but I live in constant worry. Wish I could take my own advice!

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Hi Everyone, I am doing a bit better today.... Trying not to worry or think too much about it. She doesn't seem to smell like that anymore, weird.... She is a happy kid, active, and loves to play, she seems healthy.... I just worry SO much.... yesterday I started something new, every-time a horrible thought about her health will pop on my head, I will meditate or say a prayer... this seems to be working to stop the pattern of horrible images that come to my mind.... it's hard to stop it but I am trying.... I can't wait for the lexapro to fully kick in... it's been 5 days now. Thank you all for your support!

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The mind can play some weird tricks on us. 

I'll tell you a little story...so a few months ago the hubs is in the bathroom brushing his teeth and I see what I am convinced is the biggest, weirdest, ugliest, most weirdly colored mole I have ever seen in my life on his back. I freaked out. I started telling him we had to go to the ER to get that thing off immediately. I was screaming, crying, freaking out. He started yelling at me to pick it off his back. I was thinking, how on earth can I pick a mole off of his back? He kept yelling, pick it off, pick it off. I kept yelling, I can't I can't...we've got to go to the doctor right now or you'll die. He got so mad at me he took a back scratcher and "scratched" it off. Ok, it was more like he pushed it off...because you know what it was? Wait for it...are you ready? It was lint. The blue/green clothes lint. I had just done laundry the day before, we slept in a nice freshly made bed that apparently had a piece of lint. I immediately started freakishly laughing and then crying...I was crying because I was relieved but also crying because I realized in that moment, what a trick my mind could play on me. It was clearly lint all along. My husband knew it...but I didn't. Whenever I get freaked out, I think about that incident and it actually helps me. I hope it helped you. At the very least, I hope you laughed a little.

Hang in there!

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4 hours ago, Leah1976 said:

Hi Everyone, I am doing a bit better today.... Trying not to worry or think too much about it. She doesn't seem to smell like that anymore, weird.... She is a happy kid, active, and loves to play, she seems healthy.... I just worry SO much.... yesterday I started something new, every-time a horrible thought about her health will pop on my head, I will meditate or say a prayer... this seems to be working to stop the pattern of horrible images that come to my mind.... it's hard to stop it but I am trying.... I can't wait for the lexapro to fully kick in... it's been 5 days now. Thank you all for your support!

Wonderful Leah, I'm happy to hear you are able to differentiate what's catastrophic thinking and what's really a cause for concern. Don't beat yourself up about worrying so much, we all do it/have done it, it's part of our disease. 

Great you are meditating or saying a prayer, yes, it's hard at first but I promise you it will get much easier the more you do this (when needed). Think of it as retraining your old, anxious brain! It's good to have an understanding what anxiety is, what it does to us, why we got it in the first place and how to use coping skills. 

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Thank you all for your sweet words.... I did notice that smell on her a bit today but she didn't brush her teeth yet.... I also noticed my son having a similar smell last night when he was sleeping, so I think it's just normal and something I never noticed before? My anxiety is pretty bad still because of the lexapro, as the initial side effects are tough.... I just really hope things bet better.... I am not able to function normally right now.... not performing in job (I work from home), my house is a mess, don't have desire or energy to clean, nor I feel like hanging out with friends.... I am praying for better days!!!

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5 hours ago, PennyPanic said:

The mind can play some weird tricks on us. 

I'll tell you a little story...so a few months ago the hubs is in the bathroom brushing his teeth and I see what I am convinced is the biggest, weirdest, ugliest, most weirdly colored mole I have ever seen in my life on his back. I freaked out. I started telling him we had to go to the ER to get that thing off immediately. I was screaming, crying, freaking out. He started yelling at me to pick it off his back. I was thinking, how on earth can I pick a mole off of his back? He kept yelling, pick it off, pick it off. I kept yelling, I can't I can't...we've got to go to the doctor right now or you'll die. He got so mad at me he took a back scratcher and "scratched" it off. Ok, it was more like he pushed it off...because you know what it was? Wait for it...are you ready? It was lint. The blue/green clothes lint. I had just done laundry the day before, we slept in a nice freshly made bed that apparently had a piece of lint. I immediately started freakishly laughing and then crying...I was crying because I was relieved but also crying because I realized in that moment, what a trick my mind could play on me. It was clearly lint all along. My husband knew it...but I didn't. Whenever I get freaked out, I think about that incident and it actually helps me. I hope it helped you. At the very least, I hope you laughed a little.

Hang in there!

OMG super funny!!!!!!! You bright a smile to my face LOL!!!!! I have done similar stuff.... anxiety makes us bit crazy sometimes!

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