armeade25

Absolutely panicking

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My glands, particularly the right sided one just under the top side of my jaw, is still so swollen I can see it in a mirror. My worry is still so heightened. I know I will have an ultrasound on Saturday but I also know that you can't rule out lymphoma without a biopsy. 

I don't know what will calm my fears, if anything. 

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1 hour ago, armeade25 said:

My glands, particularly the right sided one just under the top side of my jaw, is still so swollen I can see it in a mirror. My worry is still so heightened. I know I will have an ultrasound on Saturday but I also know that you can't rule out lymphoma without a biopsy. 

I don't know what will calm my fears, if anything. 

Your mind is doing this to you. :( You really have to let your drs help you and not Google.  I think what is going to calm your fears is therapy and getting help over this. It will never stop until you get tools to help make it stop. 

Hugs. I hate you are going through this over and over again. It's taking so much of your life away. 

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I've also been touching it CONSTANTLY. It doesn't seem soft. It's definitely immoveable. Ugh. 

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When I am sick or have allergies my nodes are rock hard. They are soft when they aren’t swollen but when they are doing their job they swell and get hard. Give it a chance to go down over the next couple of weeks and stop feeling it or it will take longer to get back to normal.

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2 hours ago, Iugrad91 said:

When I am sick or have allergies my nodes are rock hard. They are soft when they aren’t swollen but when they are doing their job they swell and get hard. Give it a chance to go down over the next couple of weeks and stop feeling it or it will take longer to get back to normal.

That makes me feel a little better. I don't know if anyone else does this, but I keep looking at other people's necks to see if anyone else has this. So far, no luck. Trying to re-program my brain not to do this. :'( 

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Having a rough day today. I have my throat ultrasound tomorrow and am very nervous. I wish that with my other symptoms, I could see the sort of "reasonable" explanations...but I have trouble buying into coincidence (itchy back, anemia, alcohol intolerance, protruding glands, headaches). I'm sure I'm driving everyone here crazy with this thread - At this point, I'm mostly using it to vent in because I'm anxious beyond measure. 

I had my partner look at my neck last night and she took some pictures so that I could see that they were "not as big as I thought they were". Admittedly, you can really only see the glands when I move my head dramatically to the left or right or if I look up but in those times, they look far bigger than that suggested safe 1cm. She commented that I'm very thin and that might just be how my anatomy is - she also mentioned that if she looked up or to the side, she wouldnt be able to see her glands even if they were swollen. That seemed like a fairly rational explanation and for those few moments, it worked. 

When I touch them when I'm looking straight, they feel very small but when I turn my head, they feel huge and hard. Weird weird weird. :/ 

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Armeade25-----you are not driving any of us crazy! I just take the liberty to speak for the group which is usually not my style but don't ever think that! We are all in the same boat here and I have yet to met an unkind person on this forum! If we don't understand what anxiety does to a person who else would? 

Cyber Hug--- you will get comfort soon:)

 

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Hi Jae! Thanks so much for checking in. I had my ultrasound this morning. The tech laughed at me when I suggested the swollen node was cancer. She took lots of pictures but admitted that she thought it looked like a normal swollen node even though I have to wait for the doctor to truly confirm that. 

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I'm still waiting on results from my ultrasound but I am still very worried. The node is still really swollen compared to the other side. I have had on-off throat pain from my acid reflux/possibly allergies/ear pain which I also think is from reflux but I still don't think those can cause swollen nodes. Ugh. I wish this panic would subside at some point.

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2 hours ago, armeade25 said:

I'm still waiting on results from my ultrasound but I am still very worried. The node is still really swollen compared to the other side. I have had on-off throat pain from my acid reflux/possibly allergies/ear pain which I also think is from reflux but I still don't think those can cause swollen nodes. Ugh. I wish this panic would subside at some point.

Remember what you wrote in another post.. your wife doesn't want you living like this. The tech even said it was fine. Your results will be good. It took weeks for my node to go down and that was with me hardly touching it. 

Please Consider journaling, mediatating etc to help you live your life and let these thoughts go. They are consuming you. 😘

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Hi everyone! Just wanted to update on my results. 

The nurse from the clinic FINALLY called. The doctor sent her along with a note to tell me that said: "the ultrasound showed a few small lymph nodes that appear to be benign". Of course, me being me, I wondered if it was normal for lymph nodes to show up in an ultrasound at all if they were not enlarged - so I asked for more details, which she is going to get from the doctor and then let me know. HOPING this will ease some of my anxiety! 

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