BeeDot

Have you had this symptom? Crushing chest and neck pain?

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Pain is a bit of a misnomer....I can't say it hurt exactly. But it felt like I was wearing about 10 of those lead aprons you get at the dentist office and my neck was in a vice grip. I felt like I couldn't breathe, but that was probably anxiety. I honestly thought it was the end. I've never felt so much like I was actually dying (save one other notable panic attack). 

So, I'm just curious if anyone else has experienced this. I've had chest pain and chest pressure, sure. But this was on another level. It was like all my muscles in my chest, neck, and jaw had seized up. 

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This was a muscular spasm, they can be horrible.  They can also come with jolts too which add to the horrible feeling. Try not to worry, if that area is usually scanned regularly, the nerve endings can go a bit haywire at times and these spasms occur.

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Yeah, I mean, it passed after a few minutes, so I'm not TOO worried about it. But god, I've never felt anything like it before. I've "thought" I was having a heart attack before....that was nothing. This was like I FOR REAL thought I was dying. I'm usually at least somewhat aware that a panic attack is happening. Not this time. Like being at the bottom of the ocean. 

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Dear BeeDot, 

to me it sounds like you had a panic attack. The muscle spasm was the physical side of it. You thought you were gonna die for real this time. The bottom of the ocean. Guess what, you have survived it! Wonderful-Life-Living! 

On my individual path with anxiety and panic attacks I have discovered that anxiety came to me because I had called it into my life. Crazy, huh? I had life style habits that were not good choices, the main one being too harsh with myself, not practicing enough self care, self love and working very long hours. Being proud of it! It was like I was praying and honoring a fake God! So anxiety came to help me out. So I would learn that I need to address some things in my life. Overtime we became friends because without anxiety I might have worked myself into the ground. I'm not suggesting to quit work or anything like that. I don't know your circumstances and it doesn't matter so much because it's a very individual learning experience. I'm not giving you advice but I would like to invite you to think about why you have called anxiety into your life? What are the things you need to address so anxiety can be a normal warning system again and not in constant overload. This a personal questions and important, sacred answers that only you can answer and don't have to share. But it could help to gain a different perspective on anxiety. Because we only look at anxiety from one angle! It's the beast, the enemy! We need to get rid of it, we need to fight it at all cost! Anything we fight like this will come back tenfold because why? Because it will be presented to us over and over until we learn our individual lessons. And once we do that we are free and we live! 

The reason I decided to write this to you is because you said you are not too worried about it (the physical part, although uncomfortable). That shows you know you are "fine" on the physical side. That's a big step ahead. 

Don't toss the gift of anxiety to the side. Maybe you are not ready today, maybe not tomorrow but in due time you might get curious and hold it in your hand, weigh it, touch it, explore it. It's there to help you and it never meant to make you so uncomfortable. It just wants you to listen to it and the messages it has. 

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You’ve given me a lot to think about and thank you so much for writing this. Going to take a look at everything you have to say and see what I come up with. Will be a great activity for my last work shift tonight ;-)

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